Unfinished Business
by Athena Alexandria
Summary: Unknown to each other, Jack and Kate are both being haunted by the people that they’ve failed. Going back to where it all began, can they rid themselves of these ghosts and rebuild their trust? Set after There's No Place Like Home.
1. Chapter 1

The real ending of Bedside Manners should be up in a couple of days, but in the mean time, here is the first chapter of my new fic. I wrote it_ before_ I saw the new trailer, so the similarities between Kate's exchanges with Aaron are completely coincedental and therefore _not_ spoilers. Just a disclaimer. ;)

Since there's so much going on in the show mythology-wise at the moment, and no way of guessing what the writers have planned, I'm not even going to try to address all of it, just a few things that I thought would be fun: specifically Kate's dream and Jack's vision and what they could mean... ;)

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Chapter 1.

_"Give me back my son!" Kate cried, brandishing the sleek 9mm pistol that she kept hidden in the back of her closest._

_She had flung open the door to the nursery, like she did every night now, to find the same ghostly form hovering at Aaron's bedside, but this time, her fear was for the tiny blue bundle cradled in her arms._

_"Your son?" Claire repeated, tearing her eyes from the baby, her tone dripping with a kind of malice that Kate couldn't reconcile with the young mother that she'd known on the island. "What makes you think that he's yours?"_

_"I was the one who carried him, who nurtured him with my body. He came from me," she insisted through gritted teeth as a fierce wave of maternal possessiveness swept through her, not realising what she'd said until it was too late._

_The corners of Claire's lips twisted into a cruel smile. "But that doesn't matter, does it, Kate? Not to you."_

_The baby began to wail then, flailing his miniature fists free of the blanket, and glancing from him to her adopted son, asleep in his bed, searching for an answer that wouldn't sound like a choice, she felt like she was being split in two._

_She loved Aaron, more than she'd ever thought possible, but this was different, this was her son…_

_"You don't get to keep both of them," Claire reminded her, sensing her helplessness as she stood there, tongue-tied, her gun hand trembling, unable to take action with her child still between them._

_Claire shifted her attention back to the baby. "Shh, Mummy's here now," she whispered, gazing down at him with a loving smile as she lifted a hand to stroke his cheek._

_"It's too bad. He really is beautiful. He looks just like his father," she said, turning away from her, her smile devoid of any warmth, growing fainter around the edges until Kate could see the outline of the window where her heart should have been._

_"No!" she screamed, lunging for the baby as he began to fade along with her, the gun clattering to the carpet at her feet. "Come back! NO!"_

She woke with a start, jerking upright, her hands flying to the slight bump protruding above the waistband of her pyjamas, relieved when she felt the familiar stirring low in her belly.

"Hey," she murmured, glancing down at it with a watery smile, brushing the tears from her eyes with the heel of her palm as an anguished sob escaped her lips.

It wasn't the first time that she'd had that particular dream, but it was getting worse. She didn't know how much longer she would be able to handle it, especially now that Aaron's birth mother – the woman that she'd once considered a friend – was doing more than taunt her.

She wanted something, and Kate was pretty sure that she knew what.

Just then, she heard movement down the hall; throwing back the covers, she scrambled to her feet, her heart pounding as she raced to Aaron's room, just like she had in her dream.

When she opened the door, she expected to see Claire sitting there, waiting for her, like always, but he was alone, still tucked up where she'd left him, playing with the stuffed killer whale that Jack had given him the first time that he came to visit.

"Hi, bud," she greeted him, forcing herself to sound normal now that she knew that he was safe. There was no sense is scaring him too. "You ready to get up?"

"Uh huh," he agreed, following her with his eyes as she moved over to open the curtains, to let the daylight in… and the nightmare out.

"Let's get you dressed, okay?" she told him, taking a t-shirt and a pair of shorts out of the dresser and sitting down on the edge of his mattress with him.

He stood up for her, gripping her shoulders as she tugged his pants off and set them aside, leaving him in his pull ups, and seeing how helpless he was, how much he trusted her to take care of him, she felt fresh tears slide down her cheeks.

He had no idea what she was about to do to him, what she was already doing to him.

"Why you crying, Mommy?" he asked, wiping them away with his little fingers.

She couldn't tell him the truth, even if she'd wanted to. It was all so far beyond his two and a half year old understanding. "M… Mommy's just sad because you're getting so big," she lied, choking on the word, not sure that she still deserved to call herself his mother.

He didn't seem to notice as he wrapped his pudgy arms around her neck, hugging her in the way that always melted her heart. "I won't get any bigger, I promise," he insisted, pulling back with a sweet smile, and she nodded, swallowing hard as she forced a smile in return, not trusting herself to speak.

She helped him change his shirt while he fidgeted, chattering about what he wanted for breakfast, but beyond his original thought of Cheerios, she didn't try to keep up, her mind still on the dream.

Even when she was awake, she could still feel Claire's presence all around them, casting a black cloud over her once peaceful life.

Sometimes she wondered if Aaron could feel it too, if she came to him in the once place that she couldn't protect him.

"Is Ronnie coming over to play with me?" he asked when Kate released him, picking the toy back up. He'd chosen the nickname himself, back when he was too small to get his mouth around 'Veronica', and somehow it had stuck.

He was so attached; she contemplated stopping by the nanny's place on the way to the airport so that they could say goodbye, but he wouldn't understand what was happening, and neither would she.

"No, it's just you and me today, sweetpea," she told him. "We're gonna go on a little vacation."

He eyed her with an uncertain look, clutching the whale tighter so that he was almost hidden behind it, and for a moment, she considered calling the whole thing off. He was happy here, in his own environment, where he felt safe. How could she even be thinking of taking him out of it? Of taking him back there, where anything could happen?

"Can Jack come too?" he checked, peeking out at her, and she cringed, like she always did, when she heard his name.

Of course he would be there. It was his idea to make the journey in the first place.

She'd tried to get him to stop calling the toy that after he'd walked out on them, when it had stopped being cute and become a daily knife in the heart, but by then it was too late for him to change it.

"Of course he can," she assured him, scruffing his hair to cover her misery. "You can bring whoever you want." She wasn't sure how she was going to fit it all into their suitcase, which was standing packed and ready to go next to her closet, but she figured that she owed him that much.

"Okay," he agreed with a serious nod, as though that was all he needed to hear.

She watched him select the whale, a koala and an emu, arranging them in a pile with a handful of action figures, crayons and two of his favourite storybooks, wishing that she hadn't felt guilty enough to buy him all of those Australian animals.

She hated them now.

She hated the whole Godforsaken country, which was ironic considering where they were headed.

When he was finished, she put them into his backpack for him and dragged their luggage downstairs so that it would be there when their cab arrived.

They had everything that they needed, but as he shovelled the last of his cereal into his mouth, she couldn't suppress the urge to slip back up to her room.

It was still there, buried at the bottom of the drawer, where she'd tried to forget its existence; she dug around under the old pictures and artwork that Aaron had made for her, until her fingers closed over the small, velvet box, taking it out and staring at it for a long moment before she could bring herself to open it.

Out on the street, a horn blasted.

There was no longer any reason for her to wear it, but she couldn't leave it behind, not when she might not be back; unclasping the chain around her neck, she slipped it on, tucking it inside her shirt as she went down to meet their ride.

* * *

"Mommy? Are we gonna go on a plane?" Aaron asked, tugging on her sleeve when their cab pulled up in front of the airport.

"Yeah, baby," she agreed, giving him a distracted smile as she pulled out a couple of bills. "Won't that be fun?"

She paid the driver and collected their luggage, ushering him into the terminal for check in.

He kept talking as they sat in the lounge, watching the planes take off through the window, but she couldn't listen, his innocent excitement filling her with self-loathing, because Claire was right: she'd made her choice, and it wasn't him.

She'd held out for as long as she could, but in the end, she wasn't strong enough.

More than anything, she just wanted it to be over – for the nightmares to stop – and this was the only way that she could think of.

To protect one child, she was going to have to give up the other.

He was okay for the first hour after the boarded the plane, amusing himself with the things that he'd brought in his backpack, and the cartoons that she put on for him, but then he began to get restless, bouncing around the cabin. Every so often she would have to get up out of her own seat to chase him before he wandered off into first class, or somewhere else that he wasn't supposed to be, apologising profusely to the flight attendants as she steered him back into their row.

She was exhausted herself, so it was a relief when he finally wore himself out. Seven hours into the flight and he was asleep with his head in her lap, drifting in and out through the night until they landed in Sydney.

It hadn't been an easy decision for her to go there, despite Jack's insistence, and more often than not, she wondered if she was doing the right thing by bringing Aaron along.

After months of her hanging up on him whenever he asked her, Jack still didn't seem to understand why she'd changed her mind.

* * *

Next chapter: Kate and Aaron meet up with Ben and the rest of the Oceanic 6, including Jack... ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews. Hopefully this chapter will pique your interest a little more, since there are a few more plot points to mull over. I'm dedicating it to Lizi, my own personal cheerleader... ;)

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Chapter 2.

_In her dream, Kate was giving birth._

"_Just one more," the doctor said, and even though she was exhausted, she forced herself to do as he instructed, pushing with all of her remaining strength until the air erupted with the shrill cries of a newborn. "Good girl."_

_As he lifted the baby out from beneath the sheet, she caught a glimpse of dark hair and smiled._

"_Congratulations. You have a beautiful little boy," he told her, but as she watched him bundle her son into a blue blanket, she noticed that he wasn't looking at her, his eyes fixed on a point over her head._

"_Is he okay?" she asked as the familiar sense of panic washed over her. Something about this wasn't right. "Can I see him?"_

_Instead of handing the baby to her, he ignored her, continuing on past the bed. "Wait, where're you…?"_

_Her heart almost skipped a beat when she pushed herself up onto her elbows and saw Claire standing over near the door, dressed in blue surgical scrubs, her arms outstretched, ready to take him._

"_No, not again," she whispered, but neither of them seemed to hear her._

"_I think I'll call him… Aaron," Claire announced with a smile as the doctor settled the baby against her chest._

"_No," Kate insisted, struggling to sit up, but before she could, a group of nurses swarmed on her._

"_Easy there, you need to rest."_

_She tried to fight them off, but they were stronger than she was in her weakened state, pinning her shoulders so that she couldn't move. _

"_That's not his name," she screamed as Claire walked out of the delivery room holding her son. "That's not his name!"_

The words were still echoing in her ears when she woke up; she was sure that her cries must have disturbed Aaron, but when she glanced over at the twin bed beside hers he was still asleep, clutching his whale, his thumb stuck in his mouth.

He'd broken the habit after the trial, when things began to settle down for them, but every so often, when he was feeling anxious, it would find its way back there.

Tonight, it was a painful reminder of how young he still was, too young to be separated from her.

She didn't want to lose him, but the harder that she tried to resist it, the more persistent his mother became. As terrified as she was that something would happen to him if she allowed him to set foot back on that island, she was even more afraid of what Claire would do to her own child if she kept him away.

She just hoped that he would be able to forgive her one day.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into the darkness as the tears that had threatened to fall since she opened her eyes spilled over onto her cheeks. "Oh God, I am so sorry."

* * *

She let him order pancakes and ice cream the next morning at breakfast before they collected their luggage and headed down to the harbour, following the directions that she'd been given.

At the end of the dock was a huge boat, the _HMS Destiny_ she noted with an ironic smile.

Ahead of them, a woman was supervising the crew in loading the cargo, her dark hair pulled into a severe bun on the back of her neck, dressed in an elegant tailored pantsuit that made her difficult to recognise at first.

"Kate!" she called when she spotted them standing in front of her, assuring Kate that they were in the right place. She finishing handing out orders and came over to meet them.

"Sun," Kate greeted her, dropping Aaron's hand so that she could give her an awkward hug. It felt like forever since she'd seen her: not since she'd returned to Korea with her parents. "You look amazing."

"So do you," Sun agreed, her dark eyes widening as they lingered over her loose fitting shirt, giving her a tentative smile. "Are you… pregnant?"

If she knew, would she let her go? Kate wondered. Would anyone, given the risk?

She couldn't hide it forever, but maybe she could long enough to stop them from going on without her.

"No," she lied, folding her arms in front of her in a self-conscious gesture, laughing it off as though this couldn't be further from the truth. "Guess I'm just not as fit as I used to be."

Sun stared at her in confusion for a moment, and she was afraid that she didn't believe her, until she shifted her attention to the little boy at Kate's side, clearly embarrassed. "This is Aaron? He's gotten so big!"

He tightened his grip on Kate's jeans in response, and Kate let out the breath that she was holding, relieved that she'd decided to drop the subject. "He's a little shy," she explained, wrapping her arm around him, pulling him into her side. He was usually better around strangers but he seemed to understand that something was going on.

"You've done a great job with him," Sun told her as a little girl that Kate was sure must be her daughter toddled up to them, giggling as Hurley pretended to chase her.

"You made it!" he said as he embraced her. Unlike Sun, he didn't seem to notice anything, ruffling Aaron's hair as he stepped back. "Hey, little man."

"You remember Uncle Hurley, don't you?" Kate asked him but he just shook his head. She flashed him a sheepish grin. "Sorry, Hurley – I guess it's been a while."

He didn't remember anyone else from the island except Jack, and even then, she was sure that his memory of him must be fading.

"This is Ji Yeon," Sun announced when the little girl stopped to give them a curious look.

"She's beautiful, Sun," Kate told her with a sad smile. "She looks just like Jin."

Maybe it would help Aaron to have someone close to his own age on the trip. She gave him a gentle nudge. "Say hi," she prompted.

"Hi," he echoed, sizing Ji Yeon up. "Are you coming on vacation with us too?"

"Kate."

At that moment, Sayid joined them, wiping the sweat from his brow with his wrist as he set a pile of smaller crates at his feet.

She opened her arms, and after a brief hesitation, he stepped into them, letting her hold him. "I'm sorry about Nadia," she whispered, noticing how much sadder his eyes were than the last time she'd see him, just a few weeks before his wife's murder.

"There's something—" he began as he released her, but that was as far as he got before a voice that she'd hoped never to hear again cut into their bittersweet reunion.

"I'm glad you made it, Kate," Ben said, stepping down from the gangplank, holding his hand out to her.

Rather than take it, she returned her attention to Sayid. "What's he doing here?" she asked, alarmed. As far as she was concerned, he was still the enemy, even if they'd been forced together that last time their paths had crossed.

"He's with me," a third voice announced, and she turned to see Jack coming along the dock towards them, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, looking for all the world like that man that she'd fallen in love with on the island.

His eyes went straight to her, and without thinking, she touched her stomach, wondering if he could tell just by looking at her.

Ben seemed to catch this gesture. "How are you feeling today, Kate?" he asked with a slight smirk. "You look good."

Something about his tone made her uncomfortable. "I'm great," she agreed, snatching Aaron's hand and pulling him away from his new friend. "Come on, sweetpea, let's go see our cabin, okay?"

The last thing she needed was to worry about him to. She moved to lead Aaron onto the ship, but Ben crouched in front of him.

"Hello Aaron. My name is Ben. You probably don't remember me, but we met when you were a baby."

She couldn't explain why, when he was outnumbered six to one, but just the thought of having him near her son filled her with terror. "You're not to speak to him again, you hear me?" she warned him, in case he was thinking of making friends with him so that he could use him against her. "From now on, if you have something to say, you say it to _me_!"

"You've turned into quite the mother bear, haven't you, Kate?" he said with a smile that made her want to rip his throat out.

"Me and _my son_ are none of your business, so just shut up!" she retorted, shoving him aside, but this time, Jack caught her arm.

"Hey," he said, and she wasn't sure if the feel of his fingers on her bicep helped or just made her angrier.

She couldn't do this now, not when she was holding herself together by a thread. "I can't believe you invited him," she snapped as he led her away from Aaron and the others. "Have you forgotten everything he did to us? He kept us locked in cages. He stole Rousseau's baby. He tried to take Aaron."

"He's changed, Kate. We all have," he told her, his voice soft, meaningful.

Up close, he looked awful.

Whose fault is _that_? She wanted to demand. He was the one who'd thrown it all away. Twice.

"Do you really think I'd let him on that boat if I thought he was gonna hurt him? Or you?" he murmured, watching her with an intent look, his breath hot on her face, and it was all she could do not to break down and confess everything: the baby, the nightmares, Aaron…

"Jack…"

"I know I'm probably the last person who should be saying that after…" he rushed on, running a hand over his face as he trailed off, stroking the beard that was no longer there.

"But I mean it, Kate," he continued once he'd had time to compose himself. "The only reason he's here now is because, for once, we have a common goal. If we didn't need him to get back to the island…"

"I know," she agreed with a tight smile. She wasn't ready to forgive him, but she couldn't deny the faith that she had in him as their leader. There was a time when she would have followed him anywhere.

His shoulders slumped with relief, and he surprised her by reaching out to cup her cheek in his palm, his touch so light that she almost could have imagined it. "Good, because the thought that you don't trust me…"

She flinched at the contact. This was how it started last time, with her letting her guard down, letting him back in. "Please, Jack," she whispered. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

He dropped his hand again, the spell broken, clearing his throat. "About what happened, Kate, I—"

Four months. That was how long she'd been trying to understand why he'd done the unthinkable, but now that he was finally ready to explain, she realised that she didn't want to hear it. It was better that she remain ignorant, so that she could keep coming up with excuses herself.

"Can we just forget about it?" she insisted before he could beat her to it. "We were both scared and we… we made a mistake," her voice cracked on the last word and she was sure that he must know she was lying.

A flicker of hurt passed over his features and she wondered if she'd misjudged his feelings. "A mistake," he repeated with a bitter laugh. "Okay. If that's what you wanna call it."

She felt a fresh wave of fury at the realisation that he wasn't even going to try to correct her, even though he couldn't possibly know what it meant to her.

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but at that moment, Hurley approached them.

"Uh, guys? Sorry, to interrupt, but we need your help over here, dude," he told Jack, his voice wary.

"Sure," Jack agreed without looking at him, staring at Kate for a few seconds longer before turning away.

As he started after their friend, she followed his gaze across the docks to where Sayid was waiting with Ben.

Among the remaining crates of food and supplies was a pale wooden coffin.

* * *

I should explain that when I say Skate/Jacket, I mean platonic! Kate will not be getting back together with him just to spite Jack... ;)

Next chapter: What happened the last time Jack and Kate saw each other? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews. I was very happy with the response to chapter two so I wanted to get this one up quickly since it's all Jate. I'm going to put a spoiler warning on it just in case because I borrowed an _unconfirmed_ location from the show, but ninety nine per cent of it is my own interpretation/wishful thinking so it's really not going to ruin anything for you if you read it... ;)

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Chapter 3.

That night Kate did her best to stay awake in case Claire decided to come back. She couldn't watch her baby get taken again, even if they were only dreams, and as far as she could tell from the occasional movement, he was fine in real life.

Once Aaron was settled, and she'd given up on trying to read, there was nothing to do except toss and turn in her bunk, so making sure the door was locked behind her, she slipped out onto the deck, intending to take a long walk.

It was a cool night; she was grateful for the thick sweater she'd pulled on before leaving the cabin when she ran into Jack, leaning on the rail on the other side of the ship, his eyes trained out to sea.

Now that he wasn't so distracted, he was sure to notice the changes in her body, and she wasn't sure she wanted him to know yet, not when she was still trying to figure out what it meant for them.

"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" he asked, glancing back at her with a tentative grin before she could retreat.

There was a silent plea for forgiveness in his tone and in his eyes but she couldn't let it go, not like he could. "What do you want from me, Jack?" she insisted with a tired sigh.

There was a time when she thought she knew, but now… One minute he wanted her, the next, he'd changed his mind. She couldn't keep up with him anymore. She'd almost given up trying.

"We're gonna be on this boat for at least a week and then who knows how long it'll take us to get back," he said, his tone wistful, turning to face her as he straightened so that his full attention was on her. "I need you on my side, Kate. That's what I want –I just want us to be a team again."

"_How's he doing?" Jack asked, letting the drapes fall back into place as Kate returned from the adjoining room, easing the door shut behind her._

"_Out like a light," she assured him, coming over to stand beside him at the window. "Lucky for us he doesn't seem to have a clue what's going on."_

_She peeled them back just as he had, squinting into the darkness outside, but the rain obscured her view. The motel parking lot was almost deserted: all she could make out were the shapes of a couple of cars – her Volvo included – but nothing to tell her whether they were empty or not. "Are they out there?"_

"_No, I think we're safe," he agreed._

"_What d'you think they want?" she asked, dropping it with a shudder as she followed him over to the kitchen. She was no stranger to being watched, but at least when she was a fugitive she'd understood why it was happening. _

_The fact that she had a child now only made it more unsettling. She was just glad that he was too young to notice._

"_I don't know," he confessed, taking two mugs from the cabinet, and she saw that his hands were shaking. He was trying to hide it, but she knew that he had to be going through serious withdrawals. He'd been with her and Aaron all afternoon and, to her relief, she hadn't seen him take anything. "But whatever it is, we're not gonna give it to 'em."_

"_Thank you, for this," she told him, rewarding him a shy smile. She still wasn't sure she could count on him when she called him but so far he'd surprised her by taking charge of the situation, just like he always had on the island. He'd even shaved off that awful beard since the last time she'd seen him. "I think I'll sleep a lot better tonight knowing that you're here."_

_She flushed when she realised how this could sound. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" But it was true: she never slept as well as she had when he was with her._

_He flashed her a lopsided grin, enjoying her discomfort. "Are you trying to tell me you've missed me, Kate?" he teased her, but there was a seriousness in his eyes that made the room feel very warm all of a sudden._

_She had to get out of there, before she said or did something that would set back all of the progress they'd made. "It's been a long day," she told him, pointing towards the other room as she backed away from him. "I'm just gonna go to bed."_

_She turned to leave but he caught her elbow. "No, don't," he insisted. "Stay with me."_

_He was close enough to kiss; this set off alarm bells in her head. "Jack," she warned him, fixing him with a wary look as she struggled to find the right words. They were finally talking after months of separation. She didn't want to ruin that again. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"_

"_The _only_ thing I'm sure of is you," he murmured in that tone that always made her melt inside; she knew she should just walk away, but she was frozen in place._

_By this time, their lips were almost touching; she didn't resist when he closed the distance between them, returning his kiss with the same fire. It had been a long time, too long. If she was right, and those men were coming to finish the job they started on the island, she didn't want to die without experiencing this one last time._

_They stumbled back a few paces, to the bed, collapsing onto it with him on top._

"_Tell me you love me," she gasped when he broke from her just long enough to pull her t-shirt over her head, her own hands already working the buttons of his shirt. She needed to know that this was more than just sex, that he wouldn't make her regret it tomorrow when they were both thinking clearer._

_"I love you, Kate," he agreed, his voice coming out low and husky as he pulled back to meet her eyes, and so help her, she believed him. He was still the first person she looked to for comfort, sanctuary…_

"_I love you too," she whispered, closing her eyes as he brought his mouth back to hers, sealing it with another kiss._

* * *

_Later, she lay in his arms, enjoying the rare moment of peace as she listened to the sound of the rain beating down on the roof, and his breathing, steady and reassuring. "So what happens now?" she asked him. She wasn't talking about the men following them anymore._

"_I don't know," he confessed, pulling her in closer, brushing her forehead with his lips as they drifted off together._

* * *

_Kate woke to the sensation of a hand on her cheek, stretching with a languid smile. "Hey."_

_But when she opened her eyes it was Aaron, not Jack, who was trying to get her attention._

"_Where's Jack?" she asked him with a mounting sense of dread as she sat up, clutching the covers to her chest. The room was empty except for the two of them._

_That didn't mean anything; she forced herself to take a deep breath, but the shower wasn't running and she knew he wasn't stupid enough to go out and risk leading their pursuers back to them._

"_Did you see him this morning?" she pressed._

_He shrugged, oblivious to her distress. "I'm hungry, Mommy. When're we going home?"_

"I woke up and you were _gone_!" she reminded him, fighting back tears at the memory. She didn't think she'd ever felt as humiliated as she did when she realised that he wasn't coming back. "No call, no note… Do you have any idea how that felt?"

For the first few days she'd expected him to show up on her doorstep with some story about creating a diversion to keep them from finding her and Aaron – something that proved that he'd meant everything he said – but when a week went by without any sign of him she began to give up hope.

"You told me you loved me and then I didn't hear from you for _months_. You _used_ me," she cried, losing the battle with her emotions as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Just when she thought he couldn't break her heart any more than he already had, she'd discovered that she was pregnant and those wounds reopened again. "I knew you were a lot of things, Jack, but thoughtless was never one of them."

His eyes widened with shock at the implication of her words and he looked as though he'd been slapped. "You think it was easy for me to do that to you?" he retorted. "To make you hate me like that?"

_It was early when Jack woke, the first rays of dawn streaming in through the chink in the curtains. Kate was still asleep, her warm body pressed into his side, her head resting on his chest, where it belonged._

_It was exactly what he'd been dreaming about since their life together began to go downhill; he couldn't remember the last time that he'd felt so hopeful, like maybe there was still some happiness left for them to find after all._

"_What are you doing, Jack?" a voice laced with disapproval asked, and he tore his gaze from her to see his father – still in his suit and sneakers – sitting in an armchair, watching them._

"_Dad?!" He started, uncomfortable at being caught in such an intimate moment. It wasn't the first time that he'd seen him, but he was usually alone when it happened._

_He closed his eyes, counting to five, but when he looked back, he was still there, laughing at him._

"_You think you can get rid of me that easily?" he scoffed. "That you can just forget about the island? About your friends – Sawyer… Juliet… _Claire_—" He placed particular emphasis on the last one, an accusing note in his tone "—and go back to playing house with Kate?"_

_Jack swallowed, hard, shifting her off of him, careful not to disturb her. Did he think that he didn't force himself to conjure up their faces every day? To remember that while he was safe in the real world, they were still trying to survive on boar and coconuts and instinct alone?_

_His father let out a mirthless chuckle, his pale eyes boring into his, mocking him. "If she'll even have you after the spectacular mess you made of it last time."_

_If he'd had a body, Jack might have hit him for that, but as it was, all he could do was stew in his impotent rage._

"_Fun time's over, Jack. You still have work to do." His father's voice took on a hint of malice as he got up from his chair, his cold stare lingering on Kate's limp form, and for the first time, Jack thought he might actually be afraid of him. "The sooner you realise that, the better for everyone involved."_

"I took care of you, Kate, like I always do," he insisted.

She shuddered, wondering what this could mean. She'd waited for those men to come back, but they never bothered them again after that.

"I want you to tell me why you really left," she tried again, drying her eyes on her sleeve. "No more excuses – the _truth_."

"I can't," he argued when she held his gaze with an expectant look, his voice flat, defeated. "If I told you, you would think I was crazy."

She let out an exasperated sigh, resisting the urge to slap him. Why did he have to confuse her like this? "So you'd rather I think you were a selfish bastard, is that it?"

He stared at her for a long moment with those sad, haunted eyes, before returning his attention to the ocean, making it clear that he wasn't going to answer her.

"You _are_ a selfish bastard," she spat, turning on her heel in the direction of the cabins. "Or a coward. I'll let you know when I figure out which."

* * *

I'm probably not going to spend _too_ much time on the boat trip since all of the really interesting stuff happens on the island.

Next chapter: Sun wants to know what's going on with Jack and Kate... ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you all liked the flashbacks. I thought it would be more interesting if there was a story behind Kate's pregnancy and that idea seemed to fit in well what was happening in the season finale... ;)

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Chapter 4.

It hurt too much to be close to Jack when there was still so much distance between them, so Kate spent the rest of the voyage avoiding him.

It wasn't as difficult as she thought when except for meals, which they all shared – even Ben, who she would have been content to let starve – he stayed in his cabin or out on the deck, away from her and the others.

She wanted to hate him, but as crazy as he was making her, her love for him outweighed all the bad feelings and she couldn't help worrying about him. She didn't like seeing him isolate himself.

"Coffee?" Sun asked, rousing her from her thoughts.

They were in the ship's galley, watching Aaron and Ji Yeon play together on the floor; she was glad that he, at least, was enjoying himself, even if he was growing more and more restless the longer they were away from the shore.

"No, I'll just have tea," she told her, pretending not to notice when Sun raised an eyebrow at her, staring at her with a quizzical expression – one that Kate recognised from the docks – before going back to boiling the water.

So far she was the only one who seemed to suspect anything, as a mother herself, although Kate didn't like the smug looks that Ben gave her across the dinner table, or when she passed him in the halls. She couldn't be sure that he wouldn't have given her those same looks even if she weren't pregnant, but she couldn't be sure that he would.

Part of her wished that Jack would figure it out too – if only to save her from having to tell him – but they were seldom in the same room long enough for him to pick up on any of the signs.

"Thanks," she said, forcing a smile as Sun handed her a steaming mug. The air was getting cooler as the day progressed; she was grateful to be indoors, out of the weather.

They sipped their drinks in silence, the chatter of babyish voices the only sound in the room, until Sun asked, "What's going on with you and Jack?"

Her question caught Kate off guard. Were they really that obvious? "What makes you think there's something going on?"

The corners of Sun's lips lifted into a knowing smile. "You've hardly said two words to each other since he arrived."

Kate ducked her head to hide the flush that crept into her cheeks as she considered this. If she discounted the argument she had with him at the docks and on the first night, it was true. She hadn't even asked him to pass the ketchup if she could get around it.

"Let's just say there's a lot of water under the bridge at this point," she allowed.

Sun's eyes widened and she could see that she was intrigued. "You and Jack…?"

"Were engaged," she agreed with a bitter sigh, fingering the chain around her neck. "For about five minutes."

If she'd had her way, they would have been married by now – and her baby would have a father – but he hadn't even given her the chance to start making plans.

This part seemed to surprise Sun. "What happened?" she asked.

"It was good for a while – _really_ good—" she added as she let her mind wander back to what almost seemed like a dream now that it was over "—but then he… changed. Started drinking a lot, insisting that we go back.

"Claire is his sister," she confessed, suppressing the urge to shudder at the name. She wasn't sure what made her say it. She just needed to get it off her chest.

"_Claire_?" Sun repeated with an incredulous look. "Is Jack's sister?"

"His dad had an affair in Australia, years ago when he was away in New York for college," she explained. "He took the news pretty hard. I think he feels responsible for what happened to her but he won't talk to me about it."

He wouldn't talk to her about a lot of things, all of which seemed to be connected to the island. In so many ways, it was the best and worse thing that had ever happened to her.

"What was that?" she asked when what felt like an earthquake rocked the interior of the ship, jumping to her feet as Aaron began to whimper.

Sun opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, the boat lurched again and Kate had to grip the edge of the table to keep from being tossed to the ground.

All around them things were tumbling from the shelves. Their mugs slid off the polished wood surface and shattered. Aaron's whale slipped out of his hands, skidding across the floorboards, causing him to burst into startled tears.

"Are you all right?" Sun checked as Kate struggled to regain her balance.

She covered her stomach with her free hand, relieved when she felt the baby twitch.

"Yeah," she agreed, stumbling over to the wall so that she could use it for support.

The last time she'd seen him – when they took the kids outside to wear them out before naptime – Jack was at his usual post by the railing. She had to make sure that he was safe.

"Watch the kids, okay? I'm gonna go check it out."

"Kate!" she heard Sun protest, but she raced from the room before she could stop her, making her way up to the deck.

A violent storm was raging overheard; shielding her eyes, she spotted Jack over with the handful of men who made up the crew, tossing crates into the churning sea. Sayid was there too, helping to jettison the unnecessary cargo and secure the rest.

As she watched, another powerful wave slammed into the hull, crashing onto the planks, and when the ship tilted again, she was terrified that the momentum would send them both overboard.

This shocked her back into action. "What can I do?" she called out to them over the wind, her hair whipping around her, lashing her face. She couldn't just sit around while the man she loved was in danger. She'd never been good at that.

He tensed when he saw her. "You don't need to be out here, Kate!" he yelled. "Take Aaron and go back inside!"

Confused, she glanced back to see her son standing at the door, red-faced and howling, his cries drowned out by the sounds of the storm.

"I'm sorry, Kate – I tried to stop him but he wanted to follow you," Sun explained when she appeared behind him, catching him by the shoulders.

"It's okay, just say there, honey," Kate told him with an encouraging smile, holding her hand up to keep him from coming any closer.

"I mean it, Kate!" Jack insisted, his jaw locking into a furious expression, and she had no doubt that he would kill her if he knew. "I don't wanna see you again until this storm is over!"

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right: she was a mother now and that had to come first. "Come on, sweet pea," she said, shooting him a disgruntled look as she scooped her son up. "Let's go get you some hot chocolate."

She filled his Sippy cup and settled him on the couch in the common room while she changed into a dry sweater and jeans, finding it hard to keep still as the rain continued to belt down outside.

"He'll be okay, Kate," Sun assured her with a sympathetic smile when she peered out the window for the tenth time in as many minutes, trying to make out something other than darkness.

It seemed like they'd been out there for hours, though in reality it couldn't have been that long.

"What about Jin?" she asked, returning her attention to her, surprised by the lack of resentment in her tone. She shouldn't care what happened to Jack, not when she'd made it clear that she held him responsible for her husband's death. "Is _he_ okay?"

Off Sun's stunned look she added, "That's what this is about, right? You think he's alive?" Why else would she be putting herself and her daughter through this? Not to mention the cost. Chartering the boat alone must have swallowed up a considerable portion of her earnings from her father's company, without even factoring in the resources required to locate the island.

"Yes," she agreed.

"Why?" Kate asked in an awed whisper. "You were there – you _saw _what happened."

"Because I know in my heart that he survived that explosion, and that he's trying to get back to us," she explained with such unwavering confidence that Kate almost felt sorry for her.

She couldn't imagine how her friend would feel if she'd gone to all of that trouble just to find out that he _had_ died.

"I wish I had your faith," she told her with a wistful smile. It must be a nice feeling to wake up in the mornings believing that everything would work out okay, even when the odds were against it.

"Hey," a voice said, and she spun around, relaxing and then tensing again as Jack strode into the room, soaking wet, his clothes plastered to his skin.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you out on the deck," he said, flashing her a repentant smile, "I just wish you'd stay put sometimes."

"It doesn't matter," she told him, comforted by the knowledge that, despite some of his recent actions, he still cared enough about her to want her to be safe.

She moved over to him when Sun slipped off to take her sleeping daughter back to their cabin, forcing herself to remain on one side of the invisible line she'd drawn as she checked him over for injuries. "Are you okay?" she asked.

As far as she could tell, there wasn't a scratch on him, but what concerned her now was the thought of him coming down with something when he was the only doctor within a thousand mile radius. "You're shivering."

On impulse, she allowed her fingertips to brush the familiar stubble on his cheek in a gesture of tenderness that surprised even her. He closed his eyes in response, leaning into her touch as he brought his own palm up to cover hers.

They'd been down that road before. She couldn't go through it again, not when they weren't the only ones who would get hurt if he decided to walk out a third time.

"I'm gonna get you a towel," she announced, shaking herself out of it, ignoring his disappointed look as she freed her hand.

"Thanks," he said, accepting the one she brought him from the laundry with a tiny smile.

She felt her face grow hot as she watched him peel his sodden t-shirt over his head and dry off his torso, blaming it on her hormones, when she knew that it was more complicated than that. Seeing him like this reminded her too much of the last time they were together…

"How'd you get him to sleep?" he asked, nodding at the couch, and she seized the opportunity to relieve some of the tension, shifting her gaze to her son, who was still sprawled on his back where she'd left him.

"Benadryl," she confessed with a sheepish smile.

"Ah," he said with a knowing chuckle.

"I know – I'm a terrible mother," she agreed, flushing again, this time with shame. She would never consider doing something as drastic as drugging her child if he wasn't hysterical, but she figured it was kinder in the long run than forcing him to suffer through such wild seas.

His expression grew serious as he frowned. "See, that's where you're wrong, " he told her, but before they could get any deeper into the conversation, there was a shout from above.

"Who…?"

"Sayid," he supplied, the fear that she felt reflected on his face as he threw the towel over his shoulder and led the way out into the passage.

The sky was beginning to clear when they reached the deck, the breeze strong but gentler than before.

"There, straight ahead!" Sayid cried, emerging from the navigation room, his face alight with triumph.

Kate exchanged a puzzled glance with Jack as they both turned to see what he was pointing at.

Sure enough, there on the horizon was the distant outline of an island.

* * *

I know, Jack still didn't find out, but he will, trust me, and boy will be be pissed off that she risked certain death (not to mention potential harm to the baby) to come back to the island! And as for him not picking up on it right away, I figure Kate's at that stage where she's not showing much, so it's difficult to tell if she's pregnant or just putting on weight, especially when he's not around her enough to monitor her other symptoms.

Next chapter: The Oceanic 6 (and Ben) arrive on the island... ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews. Ugh, I wish they wouldn't keep changing this site. That's twice in the last week! ;)

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Chapter 5.

"Is that…?" Kate checked, shielding her eyes with her hand to get a better view.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, breaking into a grin. "That's our island!"

While it warmed her heart to see him so carefree and excited, the discovery had a bittersweet quality for her, since each mile brought her closer to the moment when she would be forced to give up her son.

He didn't seem to notice this as he and Sayid exchanged a quick brotherly hug, clapping each other on the back as they pulled back, their whoops of joy drawing first Sun, and then Hurley, out onto the deck.

"You did it, man!" Hurley said, launching himself at Jack, squeezing him so hard Kate was afraid he was going to crack his ribs. "You really found it!"

"You can thank Sun," Jack told him as he freed himself, glancing over at him with a warm smile. "She's the one who made this happen."

She flashed him a genuine smile in return, tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks as she embraced him next. "I've dreamt of this moment," she whispered. "I can't believe we're finally here!"

This was followed by another round of celebratory hugging as Hurley hugged Sayid, Sayid hugged Sun, and Sun hugged Kate, leaving Jack and Kate lingering a safe distance apart, uncomfortable when it was their turn.

On impulse, she wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him closer, and he buried his face in her hair for the briefest of seconds, inhaling its scent, before he seemed to remember where the boundaries were.

As he drew back, releasing her, and she glanced around their small circle, she realised that someone was missing.

"Where's Ben?" she asked, fighting back a surge of panic. The island was more his home than anyone's.

Hurley shrugged and Jack just shook his head.

"Oh God, Aaron," she whispered. He was still in the common room, in his artificial stupor: if something happened, he wouldn't be able to wake himself up.

"He'll be out for a while, Kate," Jack reminded her with a chuckle, misunderstanding her. "Trust me, he's not going anywhere."

The only thing that scared her more than seeing Ben was losing track of him; she didn't bother to correct him, slipping back into the bowels of the ship when he turned to say something to Sayid.

To her relief, her son was still safe and sound on the couch; she kissed his hair as she picked him up, laying her cheek against it, waiting for her heart to slow.

Once she'd calmed down, and she was ready to rejoin the others, she carried him back out into the hall, where she ran straight into Ben himself.

"What're you doing down here?" she asked him, forcing herself to stand up straighter so that he wouldn't see how rattled she was. "Everyone else is up on the deck. Sayid thinks he found the island."

"You've done an excellent job with him, Kate," he told her, ignoring what she'd said as his gaze shifted to Aaron. "I'll admit I was surprised when I heard you were raising him – who would've thought, when you were running around back on the island, that motherhood would suit you so well?"

His eyes flicked down to her stomach, and again, she had the sense that he knew. "But I see it now," he continued with one of his enigmatic smiles. "It's why he chose you."

"Who? _Jack_?" she insisted, tightening her grip on her son, thinking that this must have something to do with the lie. "What are you talking about?"

But before she could press him for an explanation, Jack appeared at the door behind him. "There you are," he said, glancing from her to Ben and back, his eyes questioning. "I was wondering where you got to."

"I was just gonna put Aaron down in his bunk," she assured him, brushing past Ben, her relief at not being alone with him anymore outweighing her need for answers.

"Well when you've done that, Hurley's opening a bottle of champagne," he told her, shooting a warning glare at Ben, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back as they left him behind, and for once, she didn't resist. "He thought we could all do with a drink – not me," he rushed on off her wary look.

She stopped once they'd rounded the corner, staring at him, surprised. "You're not drinking?"

He flashed her a wary smile, lifting his hand to scratch the back of his head, the loss of contact causing her to let out a soft sigh. "Been sober for almost a hundred and eight days now," he explained. "Went to a couple of meetings back in L.A."

He didn't say it, and neither did she, but she knew they were both thinking the same thing: since their last night together.

"I don't know what to say," she confessed, touched by how hard he was trying. Maybe there was still hope for them after all. "I'm proud of you, Jack."

It didn't make up for everything he'd done to her but it was a start.

She could see that he was pleased with this praise. "So're you coming or what?" he teased her, nudging her shoulder with his.

He waited outside for her while she tucked Aaron up in their cabin and locked the door behind her so they could go up to the galley together.

When they arrived, Sayid and Sun were clearing up the mess from the storm while Hurley thumbed through a rack of CDs.

"Just in time, you guys," he said, pulling two at random. "Geronimo Jackson or the _Village People_?" he read with an incredulous look.

"You pick," Kate told him as she and Jack both laughed.

They helped the others put everything back on the shelves then joined them at the table.

"You're sure you don't want any?" Jack checked with a frown when she refused the glass Hurley offered her and took two cans of soda from the fridge instead.

"No, I'm good," she assured him, forcing a smile as she sat back down beside him, holding the other one out to him.

He grinned as he accepted it, and she couldn't help feeling guilty for letting him think it was about solidarity. He deserved to know the truth, but if she told him now, he wouldn't even let her off the boat.

The mood changed when Ben appeared to tell them the captain was anchoring the ship; they were as close to the island as they were going to get without risking shallower waters.

"We don't know what we're going to find when we get there," Sayid pointed out. "Someone should go across to make sure it's safe."

"I'll go," Ben volunteered, raising his hand with an eagerness Kate found disturbing.

"Me too," Jack piped up, pushing himself to his feet.

She shot him a sharp look. Why couldn't he just let them do it? "If you're going, I'm coming too," she insisted, moving to stand too.

"What if Aaron wakes up and you're not here?" he asked her, the corners of his lips quirking with amusement when she scowled.

He had her there. "Be careful," she warned him, hesitating as she bit back the confession on the tip of her tongue. She needed him. Their _baby_ needed him.

"Just don't do anything stupid, okay?" she amended. "Promise me you'll come back if it gets too dangerous."

"Okay," he agreed with a smile. He looked like he wanted to say something else but he seemed to think better of it, licking his lips instead. "See you soon."

It was almost an hour before she did.

She couldn't allow herself to dwell too much on what might be happening over there, or what she knew in her heart she had to do, so she busied herself with packing Aaron's backpack full of drinks and snacks and waking him up so that he would be alert when it was time for them to leave.

"Coast seems to be clear," Jack announced when he returned to the galley alone, covered in sand and sea spray, but otherwise in one piece, and if she wasn't holding Aaron in her lap, she might have jumped up and hugged him again. "Everyone ready to go?"

Together, he and Hurley loaded the coffin into one boat, and then, once their friend had scrambled across to the other, he handed Ji Yeon down to him so that Sun could climb down unhindered.

He took Aaron, who was still groggy and irritable, from her next, and watching him murmur something soothing against his ear, eliciting a shy smile, Kate couldn't help feeling sad at how little he seemed to think of his abilities as a father.

She wanted to believe that it would be different with their own child, that he would step up and be the man she needed him to be, but so far he hadn't done much to convince her that he could be relied on when things got hard.

She was the last one; he passed Aaron to Hurley and reached up for her hand, the other closing around her bicep when she stepped down from the last rung, steadying her, and as she landed in the space in front of him, she realised that he was almost too close, his face just inches from hers.

"Do you know how to work one of these motors?" he asked her, clearing his throat as he let her go.

"Yeah," she agreed, her own voice coming out just as hoarse, relieved when none of the others seemed to notice. She didn't feel like fielding any more questions about their relationship.

"Great," he told her, flashing her a tight smile. "I'll be right behind you."

He hoped across into the other boat, where the coffin was waiting, pulling the chain to start it, and as she threw her own lifejacket over her head and did the same, she couldn't help wondering what they were supposed to do with it when they got there.

She had no idea what to expect, the thought making her nervous as the distance grew shorter. She hadn't seen these people in years. What if they'd changed, the way the rest of them had? What if they weren't happy to see them after they'd left them behind?

Then there was Claire…

It was getting dark by the time they reached the shore, but even so, Kate could see that it was deserted.

"Where is everyone?" she asked, unnerved by the eerie stillness as she took her son back from Hurley. There was always someone back at camp: Rose and Bernard and some of the women. They couldn't all be dead… could they?

She thought of Sawyer, and of Juliet, who she'd never been anything but hostile towards, and felt a pang of fear for them.

Beside her, gripping Ji Yeon's hand, Sun looked like she was going to burst into tears. "What did you find?" she insisted, almost pouncing on Sayid when he emerged from scouting the surrounding jungle.

"They appear to have moved on," he confessed, scanning the horizon as though searching for some clue of where the others might have gone. "Perhaps they set up camp somewhere else on the island."

Ben was the only one who didn't seem fazed by this information.

"You said we had to come back here – all of us," Jack reminded him, setting his jaw as he and Hurley placed the coffin on the sand, and Kate could see that he was as agitated as Sun at the thought of going home empty-handed. "Now what?"

Ben just smiled from where he sat on a piece of wreckage that had begun to rust with age, sipping from a water bottle. "We wait."

"For what?" Jack ground out, gesturing around them at the dilapidated tents. Some of the rooves were beginning to sag in, others had lost their tarps, making it clear that no one had lived there in a while. "There's nothing here!"

She expected Ben to react to his tone, but he just continued to smile his superior smile. "You don't have much faith, do you, Jack?" he said, his gaze falling on the coffin at Jack's feet. "We wait for John…"

* * *

Next chapter: What happened to the other survivors? ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews. These chapters just keep getting longer and longer for some reason, which is why it's taking me so long to update! Ugh, I really don't like the new site layout. It just feels wrong... ;)

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Chapter 6.

"_That was a good one," Jack said with a grin._

_They were lying together in Kate's tent, her shirt pushed up to expose her almost full term belly, where his palm now rested._

"_He's gonna be a runner just like his dad," she told him, returning his smile._

"_What does it feel like?" he asked, looking thoughtful as he studied the ripples in her skin, chasing them with his fingers._

_She winced as the baby's foot slammed into her ribs. "Like someone is kicking me from the inside," she teased him._

"_I don't know how to describe it," she confessed, her smile turning sad as it occurred to her that none of this was really happening, "but it's nice, having this little piece of us growing inside me. It makes me miss you less."_

_She could say whatever she wanted to him, without having to worry about getting her heart broken again. "And sometimes," she told him, her voice coming out barely above a whisper, "it makes me miss you more."_

_He pushed himself up on his elbow, leaning over her belly to kiss her. "I love you," he murmured against her lips, bringing tears to her eyes._

"_I love you too."_

_She broke from him at the sound of crying outside. "Did you hear that?"_

"_Hear what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion._

"_It sounded like…" she glanced over his shoulder at the spot where she set up her son's bed earlier. He was gone. "Aaron!"_

_She pushed Jack off her and scrambled past him, out of the tent._

"_Kate!" he called after her. "Where are you going?"_

_Aaron was standing on the beach, staring into the jungle._

"_Hey, baby. How d'you get out here?" she asked him, trying to keep her voice calm._

_He didn't turn around, or acknowledge her, wandering off into the trees instead. _

"_Wait, come back!" she insisted, scurrying after him. "Aaron!"_

_She wasn't used to getting around with such a large belly, grabbing at vines and branches to stop herself from tripping as she struggled to keep up._

_She relaxed when she caught sight of him in a clearing, still as though he was waiting for her, until she got close enough to see that Claire was with him._

"_Why're you doing this?" she asked her, her heart hammering in her chest, unnerved by their matching sets of vacant blue eyes._

_The smile Claire gave her was cold, inhuman, her fingers digging into her son's shoulders like claws, holding him tight. "Because he's mine."_

"Kate?"

She snapped her eyes open to find Jack crouching over her, his hand on her shoulder, watching her with a concerned expression.

"Hey. Are you okay?" he asked when she saw that she was awake. "You were screaming."

"It was a dream," she murmured, half to him, half to herself, sitting up, relieved to discover that Aaron was still curled on a pile of airplane cushions on his other side, hugging his whale. "Just a dream."

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, pushing a damp curl back behind her ear without seeming to realise what he was doing.

She remembered the dream and shuddered. "No," she insisted.

"I don't even remember what it was about," she rushed on off his injured look.

"Well, if you're sure…" he agreed, disappointed, staring at her for a moment longer before turning to go back to his own tent.

"Will you… will you stay with me?" she blurted out. She knew that she should just let him go, but she was afraid that if he left, Claire would come back, for real this time. "Just for tonight. I don't wanna be alone."

She could tell that he was surprised by her request after the way things had turned out last time. "Sure," he agreed, nodding, a hint of a smile paying at the corners of his lips.

She wriggled over, closer to the wall, to make room beside her, and he lay down in the space between her and Aaron, tucking his arm under his head like a pillow.

He was so close that she couldn't help noticing how shallow his breathing was, after lying awake listening to it so many nights, and she knew he must be uncomfortable.

It was awkward, but nice. As always, just his presence made her feel safe, like not even Claire could touch her.

"Sweet dreams, Kate," he whispered into the darkness, and it was all she could do not to crawl into his arms.

She was tired of being around him but not with him: she just wanted him to hold her like he used to, for them to go back to the way things were before he took all that away from her.

"Night Jack…"

* * *

She slipped back into a dreamless sleep, feeling more refreshed on waking than she had in months, until her eyes fluttered open and she saw that she was alone in the tent.

A surge of panic flooded through her as she stumbled out onto the beach, torn between her fear of being abandoned again and of something terrible happening, her knees almost buckling with relief when she spotted Aaron sitting in the sand with Jack while he showed him how to build a sandcastle.

She stood admiring the sight for a moment, taking a mental snapshot before going over to join them. "Why, Jack, you've been holding out on me," she teased him, impressed. The design wasn't bad: simple but sturdy.

"What can I say? I'm a man of hidden talents," he returned, glancing up at her with a sheepish grin.

His expression turned serious as he dusted his hands off on his jeans. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah," she agreed, catching Aaron long enough to kiss the top of his head as she lowered herself into the sand beside him. "Thank you.

"And thank you for getting him up," she told him to break the current of tension passing between them as their eyes locked, nodding to her son, who seemed to be having more fun digging holes than anything else.

"I didn't wanna wake you," he confessed, his voice soft, breaking eye contact to stare out at the ocean.

"Dude…" Hurley gasped, dropping the mangoes he was carrying, drawing their attention away from each other.

They both turned to see him staring at the coffin, white as a sheet.

Jack let out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut. "What is it, Hurley?" he asked, getting up.

"It… he…" He pointed, mute, his face paling another shade. "Tell me I'm not seeing things again."

From where she was crouched beside Aaron, Kate could see that the tarp Jack covered it over with the night before had been shoved aside, and the lid was ajar.

Sun emerged from her tent with Ji Yeon, and Sayid joined their group as Jack threw it open the rest of the way, letting it snap back on its hinges.

There was a collective gasp; Sun covered her mouth with her hands and Hurley looked like he was about to pass out.

It was empty.

Jack's jaw clenched with fury. "Where is he?" he demanded, rounding on Ben, who was silent, munching on an apple as he watched the scene unfold.

"What did you do with him?" he cried, dragging him up by the lapels of his shirt.

"I didn't do anything with him, Jack," he told him with eerie calm, the corners of his lips twisting into a smirk. "It was Jacob."

This just seemed to make Jack angrier. "No, this is all another one of your mind games!" he insisted, giving him a violent shake.

Sayid sprang into action, and so did Kate, afraid of what he would do if someone didn't step in, feeling her whole body go rigid with shock when a familiar voice commanded, "Let him go, Jack."

She didn't need to look to know who the speaker was.

Jack's grip slackened and Ben fell to the ground as John Locke strode out of the jungle in his faded khakis, his bald head gleaming in the sun, looking just like he had in life… at least when Kate knew him.

"_You_… you were dead!" he stammered, stumbling backwards, more shaken than Kate had ever seen him.

"So it's not just me?" Hurley muttered, sagging with relief.

"Dead is a relative term," Locke said, coming closer.

Kate could hardly believe her eyes. "You bastard!" she cried, rushing forward to slap him as all of the resentment she held towards him began to resurface, surprised when her palm connected with solid bone.

"Oh, I'm real, Kate," he assured her with a chuckle.

"Good to see you again, John," Ben told him, stepping forward with a smile. "Jack didn't believe that you would come, but I told him we just had to be patient."

"Where are the others?" Sun piped up, remembering their mission as everyone continued to gape at Locke, not sure what to do next.

"They're with Ben's people, about a day from here," he explained. "I can take you there if you want."

"Is Jin… my husband with them?" she asked him, her voice trembling, as though afraid of the answer, and Kate wondered if she was really as confident as she claimed.

"Yes," he agreed.

She closed her eyes, throwing her head back, tears streaming down her face as she laughed.

"What're we waiting for?" she insisted once she'd composed herself, dabbing at her cheeks with her knuckle, a blissful smile washing over her as she gave her daughter an affectionate squeeze.

"We don't even know what he _is_," Jack reminded her, still looking shell-shocked as he tore him gaze from Locke, glancing around their circle. "How do we know we can trust him?"

"We don't," Sayid agreed, eyeing Locke with a mistrustful frown. "But he might be our only chance of finding the others."

"Fine," Jack allowed when he saw that he was outnumbered. "Kate, you and Sun stay here with the kids. Hurley, you can stay too. Ben, you're coming with us."

"You forget who organised this trip, Jack," Sun retorted, her expression darkening with indignation. "I'm going with or without your permission."

"Me too," Kate told him, gathering Aaron up, forcing herself to ignore the stab of remorse she felt when he shot her a wounded glance, pleading with her to trust him on this.

"Safety in numbers, right?" she added with an apologetic smile.

He didn't look any less disgruntled, but he didn't try to correct her either, which she took as a sign that he couldn't come up with a better argument. "Okay, everyone get whatever you need. We'll leave in five minutes," he announced, stalking off to his tent.

* * *

"Kind of like old times, huh?" Kate said as they wound their way through the jungle, following Locke… or whatever it was that looked like him.

She could see that Jack was still mad at her. He hadn't said more than a handful of words to her since they set out.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened back there, but I'm just not sure we should be leaving anybody behind," she told him, even though they both knew this wasn't true.

"I just… I couldn't live with myself if I let anything happen to you – you or Aaron," he confessed, swallowing hard, still staring straight ahead as he finished, "I know you think I stopped caring…"

But him caring about her, and wanting to be with her, were two different things. She knew that somewhere deep inside, he still loved her – he'd proven that much – she just didn't understand why he couldn't move past whatever was keeping them apart.

"We survived this place before – we can survive it again," she assured him with a tight smile, shifting Aaron on her hip.

He sagged against her like a sack of potatoes, too tired to support own his weight after walking the first mile beside her, holding her hand.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going. Her lungs burned with the exertion of putting one foot in front of the other, and she felt heavy and weak.

"Here, you want me to take him?" Jack offered, picking up on her exhaustion.

She glanced back at the others. Hurley was already carrying Ji Yeon for Sun.

"Thanks," she agreed with a smile, transferring her son into his waiting arms.

To her surprise, he stopped, setting him back on his feet, crouching down to his height so that he could talk to him.

"Hey, buddy, how would you like a piggy back ride?" he asked him, and she watched Aaron perk up with interest.

"But you gotta hold on real tight," he warned him. "Can you do that?"

"Uh huh," Aaron agreed with a solemn nod, his face lighting up with eagerness as he gave his whale to Kate and climbed on, wrapping his tiny arms around his neck.

"Good boy," Jack told him, sliding his own hands under his legs, lifting him onto his back. "All set?"

"Giddy up horsy!" Aaron ordered with a giggle as they began moving again.

Jack chuckled, and Kate smiled at how paternal he looked, feeling lighter already as she set off after them.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set by the time Locke led them to an incline at the edge of a valley.

Ahead of them was a campsite made up of canvas tents; people bustled around building fires and preparing food, some of whom Kate recognised, and others she figured must be refugees from the barracks.

She searched the crowd for Sawyer, worried when neither he, nor Juliet seemed to be among them.

"Where is he?" Sun asked Locke, her face falling, disappointed when she couldn't see her husband. "Where's Jin?"

"Sshh," he said, putting his finger to his lips to silence her. "Do you hear that?"

There was a rustling in the bushes behind them.

"Someone's out there," he told them.

Sayid drew his gun, moving over to Sun and Hurley as they all turned to face the sound; Jack's hands were full, pulling Aaron closer, shielding him with his back, so Kate dropped his toy and did the same, covering them with hers.

"Show yourself," Sayid commanded, his tone low and dangerous as he prepared to release the trigger.

"Sayid? _Freckles_?!" a familiar voice drawled as Sawyer stepped out of the undergrowth, flanked on either side by Juliet and Jin, each of them lowering their own weapons as they stared at the Oceanic 6 in shock.

* * *

Next chapter: The two groups reunite, and Kate finally confides in someone... ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews. These longer chapters are killing me so I've decided to implement a new rule: ten plus reviews earns you an update... ;)

* * *

Chapter 7.

Sun rushed towards Jin, crying his name as he caught her up in his arms, and watching their tearful reunion, Kate couldn't help feeling envious of how happy they both looked to have found each other again.

His attention turned to Ji Yeon as they pulled back, asking something in Korean; Sun smiled in response, beckoning their daughter over so that she could introduce them.

He crouched in front of her as she approached him, cupping her face in his hands and whispering something that Kate didn't understand – but that caused his daughter to light up in response – before folding her into a fierce embrace.

Sawyer recovered from his shock next, stuffing his gun into the waistband of his jeans as he stepped forward to hug her. "I thought you were dead," he murmured into her hair, the intimacy of the gesture confusing her as she wondered if he thought she'd come back for him.

She pushed the thought out of her mind. "I'm glad you're okay, Sawyer," she told him, squeezing him back for a moment before allowing herself to sneak a peek at Jack over his shoulder.

The muscles in his jaw tensed, his smile taut as he lowered Aaron to the ground and turned to Juliet, who hovered in front of him, touching his elbow while she greeted him in a low voice.

Kate tried to convince herself that it didn't bother her – not when she was the one he'd proposed to, who was carrying his child – but as he leant in to hug her, she could feel that old possessiveness returning, and it was all she could do not to react.

"Hello Juliet," Ben said when they stepped back but Juliet ignored him, shifting her focus to Aaron instead.

"And who is this?" she asked with a smile.

"That's Aaron," Jack told her, seeming to confirm her suspicions.

"You're taking care of him?" she checked, her smile widening as she glanced up at him.

His expression darkened as he shook his head. "No, Kate is," he insisted, "I'm just helping out," and her heart sank as she realised his feelings about raising Aaron with her hadn't changed.

He wanted her to return him almost as much as Claire did.

Both Juliet and Sawyer turned to eye her with surprise, as if it had just occurred to them that she wasn't in jail.

"I got off," she explained with an awkward smile as the conversation tapered off into silence, tucking her own gun back into her belt and retrieving her son's toy, before picking him up.

"Some… things… happened after you left," Juliet told them as they started down the hill: her and Jack at the front, Kate, Sawyer and Aaron behind, followed by Hurley, Sun, Jin and Ji Yeon, with Locke and Ben bringing up the rear. "So now we try to keep moving. We find that it's safer that way."

Until that moment, Kate hadn't believed "Jeremy Bentham's" outlandish stories about time travelling, but after seeing him rise from the dead, she realised he might not be as crazy as she thought.

"How many of you are there?" Jack asked her.

"About fifty, including Ben's people," she told him, shooting at wary glance at Ben, who Kate had no doubt was listening, though it was a while since he'd said anything. "There were more, but—"

"They bit the dust a while back," Sawyer finished for her, and Kate could tell from the look Juliet gave him that it isn't something either of them liked to dwell on.

"Claire… is she with you?" Jack asked, the words catching in his throat as he tried to make it sound like a casual enquiry, but Kate knew how important it must be to him.

It was important to her too; she found herself holding her breath as she waited for their answer.

Juliet exchanged another look with Sawyer, their gazes travelling to her and Aaron as they eyed him with pity.

"What?" Jack pressed, his voice rising as octave as he struggled to conceal his panic.

"We looked for her in the jungle but we never found her," Juliet confessed, shuddering as she glanced back at the trees. "I'm sorry, Jack, but she was just… gone."

Jack swallowed hard, nodding to show that he'd heard, and Kate wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or even more disconcerted when they still had no idea where she was… or _what_ she was.

"So you really have a boat?" Juliet asked with the beginnings of a smile, changing the subject to something more positive.

"It's right off shore," Jack agreed, forcing a grin in return, but Kate could see that he was still troubled by the thought of his sister's mysterious disappearance. It would be easier if they knew she was dead. "If we leave in the morning, we can be there by dark."

A current of excitement spread through the camp as they arrived, with the remaining survivors all clamouring for news of loved ones and the world outside, seeking reassurance that they were really going home this time.

As Kate expected, not everyone was pleased to see them, but overall, their reception was better than she'd feared; it made her feeling guilty to think that while she was off living her life in L.A., vowing never to return, they were still there, still waiting to be rescued, and she felt a pang of latent sympathy for Jack, whose conscience had never allowed him to fully embrace that existence.

After dinner, Jack, Juliet, Sawyer and Sayid disappeared into one of the tents to discuss the trek back to the beach, but by then, Kate was too wrecked to join them, staying by the fire instead, stroking Aaron's hair as he dozed with his head on her thigh.

Sun had gone back to Jin's tent to be alone with and their daughter, while Hurley reviewed the last _Star Wars_ film for the benefit of an eager group of survivors, but Kate didn't know what to do with herself, where she fit.

Everything was different. It felt strange, being out of the loop. She was so used to being part of the inner circle; she wondered if it was the same for Jack, whose role now belonged to Juliet.

"Looks like you got the kid you wanted," Sawyer quipped as he appeared beside her, and when she glanced up, she saw that the meeting had dispersed; Jack eyed them with a tense expression as he emerged, before taking a seat at one of the other fires.

She tried to keep her composure, but Sawyer's words struck a nerve: no matter which way she looked at it, she was going to lose her son. If Claire was still alive somewhere on the island, then she would want him back, and if she wasn't…

Hot tears spilled over onto her cheeks as she laid her free hand on her stomach, allowing her thumb to caress her small bump. She couldn't do this. She couldn't make this choice.

"Damnit, Kate," Sawyer growled with a bewildered frown when he saw that she was crying. "Why'd you have to go and turn on the waterworks?"

"I'm sorry," she told him, wiping her eyes on the back of her wrist, frustrated when she couldn't seem to put a stop to them. "It's just… I'm pregnant," she whispered. After keeping it a secret for so long, it felt good to finally admit it to someone.

It took him a moment to process this, and then his face contorted with anger. "Jesus, Kate!" he said, letting out a low hiss, looking shaken as he grappled for a coherent thought. "Then what the hell d'you come back here for?"

"I don't know," she agreed, sobbing harder at his tone. "I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing!"

"And Jack, he just _let you_?" he asked, sounding incredulous as he glared over at him.

"He doesn't know," she confessed, grabbing his arm before he could do anything stupid. The last thing she needed was him picking a fight with him.

"You didn't think it was worth mentioning?" he insisted, sighing as he seemed to recognise something in her expression, "Of course not, 'cause he's the guy who knocked you up."

"It wasn't like that, okay?" she argued, growing defensive, not realising how he would take this until he scowled.

"We… we were engaged," she amended.

"Were?" he repeated, unable to hide his surprise.

"Can we just not talk about it anymore?" she snapped, dropping her face into her hands, wishing she hadn't brought it up. What made her think she could confide in him? "I don't even know why I told you."

"Well, it's too late for that now – gimme the kid," he ordered.

"Why?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him, confused.

He let out an exasperated sound, rolling his eyes skyward. "Do you always gotta be this damn stubborn? Just do it."

She passed Aaron to him, and once he was settled in one arm, he held his free hand out for hers. "Get up."

It was clear that he wasn't taking no for an answer; she took it and he pulled her to her feet.

"Where're we going?" she asked with a sceptical frown.

"To see the wizard – where do you think?" he retorted. "We're goin' to see Jules. She'll know what to do with you."

"Jules?" she repeated, wrinkling her nose as she trailed after him. Since when were the two of them so friendly?

He didn't reply, ushering her into one of the tents, where Juliet was making up beds.

"Hey," she greeted him, glancing up at him with a soft smile, flushing when she saw they weren't alone.

"Hi, Kate," she said, struggling to act nonchalant as she moved around to the other cot. "Charlotte and I have organised a couple of tents if you want to put Aaron down."

"We got bigger problems than that," Sawyer told her, shooting Kate a disgruntled look, and if she didn't know any better, she'd guess that he was upset with her.

Juliet pursed her lips, trying to keep her expression neutral as she straightened, glancing from him to Kate and back again. "Is something wrong?"

"It seems Kate here has a bun in the oven," he announced.

"You're pregnant?" Juliet asked without skipping a beat, her eyes widening in surprise when Kate nodded.

She put down the pile of blankets she was carrying, switching over into clinical mode. "Do you mind if I…?"

"No, it's okay," Kate agreed with a tight smile.

"I'm gonna take that as my cue," Sawyer told them, laying Aaron on the closest bed so that he could make his escape. "You ladies have fun."

When he was gone, Juliet gestured for her to sit down; Kate perched on the other cot and she knelt in front of her, rolling up her shirt. "How far along are you?" she asked.

"Almost sixteen weeks," Kate confessed, leaning back on her hands and staring up at the roof while she probed her abdomen with her fingers, feeling her uterus. They were cold, and her natural instinct was to push her away; she flinched as Juliet applied pressure to the spot where she imagined her baby's head to be.

"You should be able to feel the baby move some time around now," she told her.

Kate smiled at the fluttering sensation her exam seemed to stir up, her own hand falling against her belly. "Especially at night," she agreed.

"How have you been eating?"

"Pretty well," she lied; her appetite had been erratic since her nightmares became a regular occurrence: one minute she was starving, the next she had to force herself to finish her meal.

"I'm just a little concerned – you should be putting on more weight," Juliet told her as she replaced her shirt.

"I'm not starving my baby if that's what you mean," she insisted, folding her arms over her stomach, irritated by the implication that she wasn't a responsible parent.

Juliet pulled back with wary look then, changing the subject by hitting her with another barrage of enquiries. "You've been back since yesterday?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"How're you feeling?"

"Tired, I guess," she admitted.

"That's normal," Juliet assured her. "Any nausea or shortness of breath?"

These were different questions to the ones her doctor back home in L.A. had asked her at her last appointment; she remembered the hike, and the difficulty she'd had breathing then, and wondered if this counted.

"No," she told her, deciding that it was nothing to get too concerned about.

"Good." Juliet relaxed, smiling at her. "Do you know what it is yet?"

"It's a boy," she agreed, returning her grin.

"Couldn't wait to find out?" Juliet teased her, but rather than keep the mood light, her words had the opposite effect.

"I know because I've seen him," Kate confessed, her smile fading as she turned serious. "I've been having these dreams…"

"It's very common for expectant mothers to dream about their babies – many even accurately predict the sex," Juliet told her, missing the shudder that ran though her.

"These aren't ordinary dreams – more like nightmares," she insisted.

"Where the baby is missing or in danger?" Juliet supplied.

She nodded.

"Then I would say you're anxious about something, Kate."

"I have a child – I know how to raise one," she reminded her, frustrated that she didn't seem to believe her when she said there was more to it than that. "Why would I be anxious?"

"You didn't give birth to him – maybe you're anxious about that," Juliet suggested.

She didn't realise how close she was to the truth.

"How did Jack react to the news?" she asked in the same polite tone when Kate sighed, catching her eye, her expression unreadable.

"Who says—?" she began, flustered.

"You were off the island together for three years," Juliet reminded her, raising one thin eyebrow at her, and she knew there was no sense in insulting her intelligence by trying to deny it.

"I haven't told him," she confessed, averting her gaze, concentrating on smoothing her shirt back over her stomach.

"Are you going to?"

She licked her lips, afraid that if she didn't, Juliet would. "It's complicated."

Juliet flashed her a tiny half smile. "When is it ever not with you two?"

She was tired of talking about her and Jack; she needed something to take her mind off it. "So what's going on with you and Sawyer?" she asked, taking a sweater out of her pack.

Juliet blushed, covering it by stooping to collect the spare blankets. "You should try to get some rest," she told her, starting for the flap. "I'll check in with you tomorrow to see how you're doing."

* * *

Jack's stomach tightened as he watched Sawyer lead Kate into one of the tents, leaving him to wonder what they were doing, and why she was crying like that.

Something was going on with her – something more than him – but whenever he tried to get it out of her, she closed up.

This trip was supposed to be about redemption, about proving to himself – and if he was honest, her – that he still had it in him to be the man he once was, but so far, nothing was going according to plan.

Claire was still missing and Kate couldn't seem to forgive him for hurting her, even if it was for the best.

He reached into his pack, fumbling around at the bottom until his hand closed over a bottle, rolled up inside a pair of socks; checking to make sure no one was looking, he slid it out, staring it for a moment before prying the lid off and tipping a few white pills into his palm.

Just as he was about to pop them into his mouth, a shadow fell over him, and he felt a presence behind him; he tensed, dropping them back into his bag before she – or anyone else – could discover what he was doing, but when he glanced up, he saw that it was only his father.

"You know what to do, Jack," he told him, his expression, hard firm, and Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose to avoid looking at him, aware by now that the only way to get rid of him was to do whatever he'd come there to ask.

"You have to find her," he insisted in a tone that left no room for argument. "Find your sister. Find Claire."

* * *

Hopefully you can all start to see where I'm going with this. ;)

Next chapter: Jack gets a lead on Claire... ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you all seemed to think the last chapter was in character (and that you liked the hints of Suliet)! ;)

* * *

Chapter 8.

"_You're doing great," Jack murmured, brushing a curl back from Kate's eyes as he rested his forehead against her sweaty temple. "I'm so proud of you."_

_She was giving birth again, only this time, she wasn't afraid because he was with her holding her hand._

"_Congratulations. You have a daughter," the doctor announced when, with one last excruciating push, all her hard work was rewarded with the sound of their baby's first cries. He lifted her up to give them both a better view. "Would you like to meet her?"_

_All Kate could do was nod. She'd waited so long for this moment, the moment she would finally get to hold her child. "It's a girl," she whispered, those three words like music to her ears, choking back tears when he swaddled her in a pink blanket and placed her on her chest. "It's a girl!"_

_This baby was hers; she wasn't going to let anyone – even Claire – take her from her this time._

"_Didn't I tell you?" Jack agreed, reminding her of his presence, beaming at her as she leant in to kiss him._

"_She's beautiful, Kate," he breathed, catching one of their daughter's tiny hands in his, and she couldn't remember ever being as happy as she was at that moment. "Wait 'till her big brother sees her."_

"_Aaron?" she checked, glancing up at him, hopeful as it occurred to her that if Jack was there, and the baby was a girl, maybe she didn't have to choose after all._

"_You sure you didn't get any drugs?" he teased her, dropping an affectionate kiss on the top of her head, and she felt sick to her stomach when she realised that that wasn't who he'd meant._

"_Where is he?" she demanded, the peace she'd felt seconds before evaporating. "Where's my son?"_

_A flicker of hurt passed over his features. "_Our_ son is out in the waiting room with Claire," he told her, his brow furrowing in concern as he added, "Is every—?"_

"_You have to go get him!" she insisted, the shrill rise in her tone causing the baby to start crying again. She put her to her shoulder, jiggling her to comfort her, trying to keep the dream from unravelling._

"_Jack, please!" she cried, her fear exploding into full-blown panic when he hesitated. She needed to make sure he was safe._

_The doctor and several nurses were eyeing them with curious looks; he stood up and wandered out into the hall, returning with a bewildered expression._

"_I don't understand," he said, shaking his head, the colour draining from his own face. "They're gone."_

When Kate opened her eyes, the pillow was damp, the comfortable weight of the baby in her arms replaced by the same emptiness she felt every night on waking.

No matter how many times she had that dream, it never seemed to stop hurting; she needed something solid and real to hold onto so she slipped underneath Aaron's blanket, crawling onto the cot beside him, and that was how she fell asleep: clutching him, her cheek resting on top of his fair head.

* * *

Kate left her tent the next morning to find the other survivors preparing for the trek back to the beach. Some – like Locke – had decided to remain on the island with Ben and his people, but what really surprised her was the conversation she overheard between Jack and a few others.

"You're not coming?" Juliet was asking him, pursing her lips, and Kate could see that she was upset.

"I can't," he told her. "Someone has to stay and look for Claire."

"Claire's dead," Sawyer insisted, earning him a sharp look from Juliet.

"Jack, we—"

"No," Miles interrupted her from where he was sitting on his backpack, watching everyone else collect their belongings. "She's alive."

"Oh yeah? And how do you know that?" Sawyer retorted, taking a step towards him, only to be dragged back by Juliet.

"_James_," she hissed and Kate almost had to laugh at the look on his face.

"She's got you so whipped, man," Miles scoffed, smirking at him as he struggled to regain control of his temper.

"Miles is right," Locke agreed without shifting his attention from the branch he was whittling.

"_What_?" Jack, Juliet, Sawyer and Kate all asked in unison, turning to stare at him.

"Claire. She's alive. I saw her," he confessed with the same unnatural calm he'd displayed since returning from the dead.

It was beginning to creep Kate out.

"When?" Jack insisted.

"_Where_?" Sawyer piped up. "We mustta searched every patch of jungle on this island! Twice!"

"In Jacob's cabin," he explained, glancing up at Jack with a nonchalant shrug. "The night before you left."

Something inside Jack seemed to break. "You knew all this time and you never said _a word_!" he spat, his expression contorted with fury, hurling himself at Locke before anyone could stop him.

"You didn't ask," Locke reminded him without seeming to flinch as Jack knocked him backwards, driving his fist into his face.

"Jack, stop!" Kate cried, afraid of what he would do now that he'd found someone other than himself to blame; she ran towards him, glad that Aaron was still asleep, but Sawyer beat her to it, pulling him off Locke when he tried to hit him again.

"Cool your jets," he warned him, tossing him to the ground again once they were a safe distance away.

"You really want them to see you like this?" he added, jerking his chin at the gathering crowd.

Jack threw him a disgusted look as he got up.

"Where're you going?" Kate asked him, scurrying along in his wake when he stormed past her in the direction of the supplies tent. She knew him well enough by then to recognise when he wasn't about to let something go.

"Jacob's cabin, apparently," he ground out with a derisive laugh as she followed him inside.

"You don't even know where that is!" she reminded him, exasperated, as always, by his erratic behaviour. He was acting crazy.

"I'll find it," he insisted, shoving things into his backpack.

In that moment, Kate knew what she had to do. "I'm coming with you," she told him, ignoring the voice in the back of her mind that warned her it was a bad idea. It wasn't safe, but then how safe was her baby if she didn't do _something_ to set things right with Claire?

"No, you're not," he argued. "You're gonna take Aaron and get back on the boat."

"How dare you!" she complained as everything began to bubble back to the surface: all of the hurt and rage she couldn't seem to move past. Who was he to give her orders? He wasn't her fiancé or Aaron's father. He wasn't anything to them and that was _his_ choice. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore – you gave up that right when you walked out on us."

"You're going back to the beach, Kate, and that's final," he insisted, glancing up at her, his hard expression softening as he added, "I can't be worrying about you too."

She was sick of being confused by him. Everything he said and did was contradictory. "So you can screw me and disappear before the sun is even up, but you can't let me put myself in danger?" she retorted.

Her palm was itching to slap him again; she managed to keep that impulse under control this time, but the look on his face assured her that her words has the same effect.

"I tried to tell I was sorry and you didn't wanna hear it," he pointed out, turning away from her. "What more do you want from me, Kate?"

"Sorry doesn't fix everything, Jack," she told him. It didn't change the fact that he'd abandoned her again when she needed him the most.

"Have you ever stopped to consider that I might need answers too?" she asked him, forcing herself to adopt a less hostile tone. It was like what he'd said about Ben: they had a common interest. There had always been a stalemate between them where Claire was concerned. "She was Aaron's mother."

This seemed to get his attention; he raised a hand to run his fingers through his hair, acknowledging it with a thoughtful nod.

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?" he asked her, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Besides," she continued, fixing him with an ironic smile in an attempt to lighten the mood, "if you try to stop me, I'll just follow you."

He let out a soft chuckle, sobering as he seemed to remember that things weren't that simple anymore. "What about Aaron?"

She realised then just how impulsive her decision had been. She hadn't even considered what would happen to him with the two of them gone.

"I'll get Sun or someone to look after him," she told him, her voice coming out more casual than she felt. She wasn't comfortable leaving him while they were still on the island but it was the right thing to do, for everyone concerned. "He'll be fine."

"You're sure you wanna do this?" he checked, seeming to pick up on her sudden reluctance.

"I have to," she agreed.

* * *

"You're not seriously thinking of going with Jack, are you?" Juliet asked, appearing the entrance of Kate's tent as she was getting Aaron dressed and organised to leave.

Jack must have told her, Kate realised, her chest tightening as she prayed she had the tact not to spill her secret.

"Why not?" she agreed, even though she already knew the answer. She wasn't in the mood for another lecture. What she did with her baby and her body was none of Juliet's business. "He has a point – if what Locke said is true and Claire is still alive we can't just leave her here."

She shot a guilty glance at Aaron in case he was listening, but if the name meant anything to him, he didn't let on.

"You need to be on that boat, Kate," Juliet argued, stepping in through the flap. "Danielle Rousseau and Claire were both in their final trimester when they came here. We don't know what'll happen to you if you stay on the island."

"That's just it, we don't," Kate reminded her. "I feel fine." She forced a smile for her benefit. "I feel normal."

"Even so, I think you should at least tell him," Juliet said.

And undo all the hard work she'd done to convince him?

"I'm not sure he could deal with this right now," she confessed, hoping that she wouldn't see right through this excuse. "He's stressed out enough as it is."

"All the more reason you—"

"_Promise me_ you won't say anything," she insisted, afraid she would try to overrule her like she did with Sun.

"Kate—"

"Please, Juliet," Kate pleaded, panic stricken at the thought of being sent back to the boat without getting what she'd come for. She couldn't let them sideline her. Not when she was so close. "I dream about her every night – I need to know why."

Juliet sighed. "I won't tell him, and I'll make sure James doesn't either," she agreed and Kate felt herself relaxing, "but for the record, I want you to know how stupid I think you're being."

Kate flashed her a wry smile. "You know, if you're so worried about me, you could come with us," she teased her.

Just as she expected, Juliet looked wary. "I wish I could help, Kate, but my nephew is almost six years old and I haven't even met him," she told her, the hint of an apology in her tone.

"We'll wait for you," she said as she turned towards the exit, "Be careful," and Kate nodded.

"Juliet," she called after her when she realised that she could help.

"Yes, Kate?"

"Do you think you could do one last thing for me?" she asked. "Could you and Sawyer make sure Aaron gets on the boat?"

Juliet gave her a tiny smile. "Of course," she agreed. "Is he ready to go?"

"Yeah," Kate told her, swallowing against the lump forming in her throat as she closed the zipper on his backpack and handed it to Juliet.

She didn't know when – or if – she was going to see him again and when she did, everything was going to be different.

"Hey, bud," she said, crouching in front of him, doing her best to keep her voice steady. "Jack and I have to go away for a while, but I want you to be a good boy, and do everything Juliet says until I get back, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed with an obedient nod and it broke her heart to think that this was no different to him than when she left him at day care, or with Veronica to run errands.

"I love you," she told him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling his small body against hers. She pressed her lips to the top of his head, closing her eyes to keep him from seeing her tears. "So, so much."

"I love you too, Mommy," he said, squeezing her back.

She was on the verge of losing it; Juliet seemed to sense this, reaching out for his hand as she drew back.

"Come on, Aaron," she told him, leading him out of the tent, "let's go find Ji…"

* * *

Next chapter(s): Jack and Kate set off on a hike through the jungle, just like old times, but how will they react when they find out each other's secrets? ;)


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you're all as excited to read about the Jate hike as I was to write it! ;)

* * *

Chapter 9.

"You okay?" Jack asked when Kate stopped.

They'd been walking for hours, heading northeast, following the bearings Locke gave them before they parted ways with the rest of the camp.

"Yeah, I just need to sit down for a minute," she told him, shrugging out of her backpack and sinking onto the nearest log.

Her legs were beginning to cramp, and she could feel another wave of dizziness creeping up on her: a sure sign that it was time for her to take another break. The last thing either of them needed was for her pass out, or for something to go wrong with the baby because she wasn't following Juliet's orders.

"You've been doing that a lot," he pointed out, dropping his own backpack and crouching in front of her, his expression one of concern.

"Just a little tired, I guess," she mumbled, concentrating on reknotting her shoelaces to avoid looking at him. For a brief moment she wondered what would happen if she blurted it out right then.

He would probably chew her out for inviting herself along on the hike and drag her kicking and screaming back to the beach, she decided. He definitely wouldn't be shouting it from any rooftops.

He pulled a water bottle out of his pack and offered it to her. "I've been meaning to ask you – you have any more nightmares since the other night?" he said, trying to keep his tone conversational, but he couldn't hide he fact that he was checking up on her.

"No," she lied as she accepted it. "Thanks."

She took a sip, lowering it back to her lap as she asked, "So what d'you think this cabin is?" changing the subject to something less likely to cause a fight. She was sick of fighting with him.

"On this island? Could be anything," he said, flashing her a lopsided grin.

She passed the bottle back to him and he drank from it too.

"I don't know what's crazier," he confessed, waving it for emphasis. "Talking to a man who, by all accounts, should be dead, or using his directions to find a cabin that's never in the same place twice."

It was all so absurd: ghosts, zombies, invisible dwellings… She found herself smiling at him, a warm flush creeping into her cheeks when he smiled back.

"You gonna be all right if we keep moving?" he asked, breaking eye contact and clearing his throat as he hoisted his backpack back onto his shoulders and got to his feet. He glanced up at the sky, which was beginning to grow dark as storm clouds gathered overhead. "Looks like rain and I wanna cover a few more miles before we lose the light."

"Yeah," she agreed, even though she could do with a nap… and a warm bath for that matter. "Let's go."

He held his hand out for hers and she allowed him to help her up, grateful for his support as she waited for the rush of blood to her head to clear.

"You know, when we left, I never thought we'd end up back here," Jack said as they continued to weave through the jungle, hunching over against the downpour that started almost as soon as they set out again.

"Me either," Kate agreed.

"Doesn't feel like much's changed, does it?" he asked.

"No," she admitted, echoing his sad smile.

If it wasn't for the occasional flutter reminding her that the life she'd shared with him off the island was real, she might have believed that it was still a few months after the crash, when they'd both been as stubborn and confused as they were now.

Part of her wanted to go back there and start over, but that would mean giving up Aaron and the baby…

MROOOOOWRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOBWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Kate froze as the sound ripped through the trees, her blood running cold at the remembrance of what it did to the pilot the first time they'd encountered it. She'd almost succeeded in forgetting about it in the time they were gone, but now she felt her terror returning.

"How far're we from the barracks?" she insisted.

"No far," Jack told her, looking as agitated as she felt as he whirled around on the spot, trying to figure out which direction it was coming from. "Why?"

"There's a switch – I saw Juliet use it once," she explained. "If we could figure out how to override it we could make sure that… _thing_… stays on the other side of the fence."

It was getting louder. She shuddered

"There's no time for that," he insisted, snatching hold of her hand. "Come on!"

They flew through the jungle, slipping and sliding over the ground cover – which was so slick from the rain Kate was afraid she was going to take a face plant into the mud – until they reached a bamboo grove dense enough to provide some semblance of shelter.

"In there! Quick!" Jack cried, shoving her inside before she could argue, draping his body over hers like a shield.

He smelt the same as she remembered: the now familiar mix of aftershave and sweat, mingled with the musky scent of the rain; she forgot her resolve as the roar reached a deafening pitch, burying her face in the crook of his neck and wrapping her arms around him for warmth and comfort.

They were both breathing hard; she could feel each shallow exhale of breath on her scalp, cooling her skin, as he rested his cheek on her hair.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to imagine that they were somewhere else – somewhere safe and dry – and as he stilled against her, she wondered if he was doing the same.

Gradually it faded into the distance and the air around them grew quiet again.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked as he released her.

She leant back, closing her eyes again, waiting for a twinge of movement. "No," she assured him, shaking her head, once she was convinced the baby was no worse for the experience. "W—_I'm_ fine," she amended, catching herself, flashing him a watery smile as she added, "Thanks to you."

She reached for the chain around her neck as he returned it, her stomach bottoming out when her fingers grazed her bare throat instead.

She wanted to cry. "Oh no," she whispered.

"What're you doing, Kate?" he asked, his own smile fading when she scrambled to her feet, using the bamboo rods to steady herself.

"We have to go back," she insisted, panicking. All around them, the ground was turning to slush.

"That thing could still be out there," he reminded her, grabbing her wrist to keep her from sprinting back out into the jungle. "It's not safe!"

"We have to find it, Jack," she sobbed, bitter tears mingling with the rain on her cheeks. Why hadn't she just left it at home?

"Find what?" he pressed, his bewilderment evident in his tone. "Is whatever it is really worth risking your life over?"

"My ring," she managed to choke out.

"Your…?" he repeated, trailing off as understanding dawned over his features.

"It was… It was on a chain – around my neck," she hiccoughed. "It must've fallen off when we ran..."

If she accepted that it was gone – lost forever – then it was like admitting that it was really over between them.

"I have to go look for it," she repeated, trying again, but he pulled her back.

"Kate! Kate, stop," he insisted, catching her by the shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes.

His voice took on a gentler note as he seemed to pick up on the source of her distress.

"Hey," he murmured to soothe her. "It's just a thing. It can be replaced. But you…" He caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers and she could feel herself melting under his touch, and the intensity of his gaze. "Whether you have it or not, it doesn't change what we had… or how I feel about you."

She stared back at him, unsure how to respond. "Jack…"

She wasn't aware that she was inching towards him until his mouth brushed hers, and then she lifted her hands to his jaw, holding him to her while she poured all of her pent up emotion back into him.

"What just happened?" he asked, his dark eyes smouldering, resting his forehead against hers when they came up for air.

She shook her head, dazed. "I don't know," she agreed. She wasn't planning to kiss him any more than he was planning to kiss her, but now that she had…

She allowed herself to move in again, meeting his lips in a kiss that was slower and more deliberate than the first, surprised at how right it felt even after all this time.

"Looks like the rain's stopped," he pointed out after he broke from her with a reluctant peck.

He squinted up through the bamboo at the clouds, his smile weak, almost apologetic as he added, "We really should do something about getting out of here in case that thing comes back."

She couldn't deny that she was disappointed, but she didn't know what she would say to him even if he _did_ want to talk about it. There was so much they still needed to work through. She wasn't ready to pick up where they left off again – not after it ended so badly last time – and she guessed he wasn't either.

"Sure," she told him stumbling back out into the jungle after him. "Lead the way…"

* * *

Okay, so Jack _still_ didn't find out, but hopefully that was just as good...

Next chapter: The moment you've all been waiting for! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the reviews. I'm so glad you all liked the kiss(es), and that it made up for her not telling him! Since this is such an important chapter for Jack I thought I'd do something a little different and write it mostly from his perspective... ;)

* * *

Chapter 10.

_The moon had disappeared beneath the treetops by the time Kate opened her eyes._

_Jack wasn't beside her like he was when she fell asleep, his blanket discarded in a heap by the fire; she tried to sit up, to look for him, but a searing pain ripped through her, and glancing down, she was horrified to find that her clothes were stained with blood._

_Worst of all, she couldn't feel her baby._

_Something was wrong. Very wrong._

_She peeled back her shirt to discover a three-inch incision beneath her navel, like a fresh caesarean scar, sealed with clumsy black stitches, and she knew he was gone: out there somewhere in the jungle with Claire. _

_If he was even alive._

_She would never get to see him, or hold him, or watch him grow; she could still hear Claire's laughter, echoing though the night, taunting her, and all she could do was open her mouth and…_

* * *

Jack started awake when he heard Kate scream.

She was having another nightmare, he realised.

"It's okay," he told her, pulling her close, holding her tight as she continued to thrash against him. "You're okay. It was just a dream."

But she was hysterical, pummelling his chest with her fists; he winced when her elbow connected with the side of his jaw, using his arms to pin hers against her sides, to keep her from hurting herself... or him.

"She… the baby…" she sobbed and he wondered if she was still asleep. "She cut me!"

"Who? What baby? What d'you mean she "cut" you?" he pressed, bewildered. None of what she was saying made sense.

He waited until she grew rigid and still in his arms before drawing back to look at her without letting her go. "I need you to talk to me, Kate. Tell me what's going on."

"You wouldn't understand," she insisted, struggling against his grip.

"No, Kate. We're doing this – right here, right now. Whatever's on your mind," he told her as he released her. He was tired of trying to guess what she was thinking.

"You hate me – why?" What had he done to her that was so unforgivable?

He was surprised when he found out that she'd kept the ring; before that he'd assumed that it was on the bottom of the ocean somewhere.

"Because I'm pregnant!" she cried, shocking them both into silence.

He felt like the ground had been yanked out from underneath him. "Pregnant?" he repeated. It was one of the few possibilities he hadn't thought to consider.

He let his eyes travel over her body, performing a kind of visual exam; sure enough, now that he knew what he was looking for, he could see it: the enlargement of her breasts, the widening of her hips, the distinct rounding of her usually flat belly. It all seemed so obvious now that he couldn't believe he'd missed it before.

Maybe he just hadn't wanted to believe it, because of what it would mean.

"Is it…?" he asked but he already knew the answer.

"Of course it's yours, Jack!" she retorted, her eyes widening with incredulity. "How many men do you think I slept with after we broke up?"

She couldn't be more than twenty weeks along, and even then, she would have to be dangerously underweight; it was over six months since they were together, unless…

"That night at the motel," he realised out loud, his heart sinking as it all began to fall into place. Now wonder she got so upset whenever he mentioned it. How could he have been so stupid?

The words 'selfish bastard' flashed through his mind, and he knew now what she was talking about. He should have stayed with her. He never should have abandoned her like that. "Oh God, Kate – I am so sorry," he whispered. "If I had any idea…"

"You would have what? Done the right thing and married me?" she pressed, wrapping her arms around herself and he felt a fresh stab of shame as it occurred to him that she was right.

If he'd known that he'd gotten her pregnant, he would have ignored his father and Ben and stuck around out of duty, and made them both even more miserable than they were now.

"You don't get it, do you?" she continued when he fumbled for an answer. "You made me feel like a whore – like you could just use me and throw me away when you were done. I thought what we had meant something."

He watched her fold back into herself, her shoulders slumping, losing a few inches in height as she added, "I thought you loved me, " her voice coming out smaller and more broken than he'd ever heard it.

It made his heart ache to see how much he'd hurt her. "I did, Kate," he assured her, reaching out to touch her arm, swallowing hard when she recoiled from him. "I do."

"Then where were you when I woke up?" she insisted, brushing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "When I found out I was having your baby? A month ago, when I thought I was gonna lose it?"

* * *

_The first time Kate lost the baby was three weeks after Jack disappeared._

_She bought a pregnancy test the next day._

_Claire came to her every night after that; sometimes it was Aaron she took, but the outcome was always the same._

_She couldn't keep both of them. Claire always made sure of that._

_That was why when she started to bleed at the end of her eleventh week, she couldn't help thinking that Claire had found a way to reach out to her in the real world as well._

"_Are you okay, Kate?" Veronica asked her with a concerned expression when she came out of the bathroom, one arm wrapped around her stomach, as if she could protect her baby from whatever was happening inside._

_She still hadn't told her she was pregnant. She hadn't told anyone. Somehow it was easier if she didn't make it real. "I think I need to go to the hospital," she confessed, bracing her free hand against the wall while she waited for Veronica to wake Aaron from his nap, resigned to the fact that the choice had been made for her, but when she got there the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her._

_The baby's heartbeat was just as strong as it had been at her last ultrasound: it was a threatened miscarriage, they said, for want of a better diagnosis._

_She knew she should have considered herself lucky, but it was hard when each day her baby survived was only a postponement of what she was sure was inevitable; she couldn't help feeling that it was all so Claire could keep torturing her, making her pay for stealing her son._

"_The baby's Jack's, right? You want me to try to call him?" Veronica asked later when she brought Aaron into the room._

_It was three months since she'd had any contact with him by then, and from what she'd heard, he wasn't working there anymore. "Thanks, but no," she told her, forcing a smile. "Can you just leave us alone?"_

_"Sure."_

_She helped Aaron climb up onto the bed beside her as Veronica ducked back into the hall, shifting onto her side so that they were facing each other._

_She needed the chance to be happy, to celebrate the news with someone, and with Jack out of the picture, he was all the family she had left. "You wanna know a secret?" she whispered._

_He responded with an eager nod. "What Mommy?"_

"_Soon you're gonna have a baby brother to play with," she told him, resting her hot forehead against his cooler one, even though she knew it was impossible when the two of them could never seem to occupy the same space._

* * *

"What, Kate? Is everything…?" he asked, the words catching in his throat. He hadn't even been aware of this child's existence until a few minutes ago, but now that he was, he couldn't imagine _no_t having it with her. "When was the last time you saw your doctor?"

"The day before we left L.A. And yeah – Juliet gave me the all clear," she assured him, softening when she saw how anxious he was.

Juliet? _She_ knew about this? It seemed that everyone had except him. "And yet you came back here?" he insisted, a sharp note in his tone.

Her mouth fell open in surprise, and then anger clouded her expression. "What're you talking about? You _asked _me to! _Repeatedly_!" she retorted.

"That was before I knew!" he cried, pacing in a tight circle.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so pissed, like he could kill her if he wasn't still so in love with her. How could she do that to herself? To their baby? To _him_?

"I can't believe you convinced me to bring you along on this hike! What were you thinking?" he demanded.

She fixed him with a stubborn look, but he could hear the guilt in her tone as she argued, "My doctor said walking was fine."

"Around the block, Kate!" he agreed. "To the store! Not trekking through the jungle!"

He tried to take a deep calming breath but he couldn't seem to hide his anguish as he rushed on, "What if something else goes wrong? What if you get sick?"

He couldn't lose her. It had almost killed him the first time.

He stopped yelling, taken aback, when she burst into fresh tears.

"You think I'd be here if I didn't have to?" she cried, gasping for breath as her chest was wracked with violent sobs, and he could see her falling apart right in front of his eyes. "That I wouldn't rather be at home painting the nursery and fighting about names? She won't leave me alone!"

"Who?" he probed, determined to get to the bottom of it once and for all.

"Claire!" she blurted out and he blinked at her in shock. He'd never seen Claire as threatening before; she'd always seemed like the kind of person you could trust with your life. "She's gonna take our baby if she doesn't get him back, Jack!"

It took them both a moment to register what she'd said.

"Our baby?" he repeated with a tentative grin, deciding that he liked the sound of it.

She ducked her head as a furious blush crept into her cheeks. "I just meant…" she stammered, scrubbing at her eyes with her fingers. "I mean it kind of is…"

She wouldn't look at him. "I know I haven't been there for you, Kate, but all that's going to change," he promised her, lifting her chin. He hadn't exactly been father of the year up to this point, but he was determined to make up for it. He wasn't going to disappoint her again.

"I won't let anyone take it from you – not Ben, not the Others… Not even Claire."

"Him," she corrected him with a shy smile.

"It's a boy?" he checked, realising that he hadn't even thought to ask her.

She nodded. "At least it feels like one," she told him with a sheepish grin.

He was going to be a father. He was going to have a son.

He allowed himself a moment to digest this before holding out his hand. "Can I…?" he asked, shooting her a questioning look.

"Of course," she agreed, nodding again.

She unbuttoned her shirt for him and he slid up her t-shirt, covering the firm skin with his palm like he had with countless patients, but somehow this was different.

This was _his_ son.

"Is he… is he moving?" he asked, disappointed when nothing happened. He was hoping for some sign of life: something to make it seem less surreal.

"Yeah," she told him, taking his hand in both of hers and pressing it harder against her belly.

It was still early days; he would just have to wait.

"It's okay – it doesn't hurt," she assured him when he eyed her with a wary glance, afraid of being too rough.

He followed her lead, applying more pressure until he felt a faint stirring beneath his fingertips.

There was something living in there. He laughed. "That's incredible, Kate."

"Isn't it?" she agreed, glancing up at him, her green eyes sparkling, her freckled face flushed with happiness, and for a moment, he wanted to kiss her again.

But his father was right: he wasn't finished. Not until they were all safe and back on that boat, Claire included.

"What does it feel like?" he asked her to break the tension.

She gave him a strange look, pursing her lips like she wanted to say something, before a slow smile spread over her features. "It feels nice…"

* * *

Next chapter: Jack and Kate discuss Kate's motivation for coming along on the hike and decide where to go from here... ;)


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews. I'm so glad the last chapter lived up to your expectations! But for those of you who are worried, there's still plenty of angst in store for Jack and Kate. That said, this chapter is pretty disturbing. Just a warning... ;)

* * *

Chapter 11.

"What's happening?" Kate gasped, doubling over in pain. She felt as though her insides were being torn apart and pushed back together. "Is the baby okay?"

"I think you're having contractions, Kate," Jack told her.

"No…" she argued, forcing herself to take a deep breath. It was a false alarm, just like her doctor had warned her about. It had to be.

But in the back of her mind, she couldn't help thinking that this was Claire's doing, because right at this moment, Aaron was back on the boat, out of her reach.

"Just stay calm, okay?" Jack said, echoing her thoughts. "There's no reason for us to panic unless—"

She glanced down as she felt a rush of fluid against the inside of her thigh, surprised to see that it was a watery pink colour. "Was that…?"

He followed her gaze, his expression grave. "Your water just broke," he agreed, taking hold of her shoulders and guiding her down so that she was sitting on the ground.

He knelt in front of her, laying his palm over her belly; when she put her hand next to his, she could feel the muscles clenching and relaxing.

"What? No!" she insisted as he checked his watch, timing them, she realised. It was too early. It wouldn't survive.

He unzipped her jeans, pulling them down around her knees. There was so much blood; she gritted her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut as another agonising pain ripped through her.

"I need you to listen to me very carefully, Kate," he told her, his tone gentle and soothing as though he were talking to a small child, but she could hear the strain in his voice. "You're in labour. The baby is coming now and there's nothing I can do so you're gonna have to help me here."

The tears she was fighting spilled over onto her cheeks as her eyes snapped open. "I can't!" she cried. She clamped her legs together to stop it but he pried them apart again. "I can't, Jack!" If he was right, and their baby was dying, then she didn't care if she died here, today too.

"Yes, you can, Kate. You have to," he insisted, his own voice breaking as he positioned himself between her knees, ready to catch it. "One push."

That was all it took.

It shouldn't be this easy, was all she could think.

There were no cries as their baby entered the world, just deafening silence.

"Can I… can I see him?" she asked when Jack wrapped it in a clean t-shirt, like a shroud.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." he argued. "You don't need to see this."

"Please, Jack. I just wanna hold him. Just for a minute," she begged. She wasn't ready to feel that emptiness again.

The bundle he gave her was small enough to fit in both hands. She hesitated for a moment, then peeled back the covering with two fingers, bracing herself.

He couldn't be more than five inches long; more foetus than child, but everything was there: ears, eyelids, eyebrows, fingernails, even a fine layer of hair…

"You were right," Jack said, swallowing. "It was a boy."

"He's perfect," she whispered, torn between awe and disgust, a painful lump forming in her throat. Even though it was too soon to know which one of them he would have taken after, she wanted to think that he would have looked like Jack, with the same dark eyes and beautiful smile.

Jack dropped his face into his hands, his shoulders jerking as he choked on an anguished sob. "I'm so sorry, Kate."

"No, I'm sorry. If I hadn't…" she trailed off, unable to finish the rest of the sentence.

"This wasn't your fault," he told her.

She didn't know how she was supposed to answer that so she returned her attention to their son, stroking his cheek with the tip of her index finger. It was still warm from the heat of her own body.

"I think… I think I'm gonna call you Sam, after my dad," she told him because it was the only name she'd been able to think of throughout her pregnancy besides Jack's, and it would hurt to much to keep saying it.

Something inside of Jack seemed to snap. "That's enough," he insisted, pulling the cloth back over the baby's face and lifting him out of her hands before she could protest.

"Wait, where're you taking him?" she asked when he got up in one swift, decisive motion, his jaw stiff with determination.

His tone softened. "You should rest," he told her without looking at her, searching the clearing for something. "You've been through a lot. I'm gonna find someplace quiet to bury him…"

* * *

Kate woke up sobbing, reaching out for Jack, who stirred at the sound.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, blinking at her in confusion as he shook himself awake. "Did you have another nightmare?"

She nodded, hiccoughing as she dried her eyes on her sleeve. "They're getting worse." She'd never had two in one night before.

"What was it this time?" he pressed, scrambling up into a sitting position beside her.

"He died." She cried harder as the image of their dead son flashed back into her mind. "I don't wanna bury my baby on this island!"

"It's okay, it was just a dream," he assured her, wrapping his arms around her.

She tried to take comfort from his embrace but she couldn't shake the icy fear that had settled over her heart.

"What if it wasn't?" she insisted. It was the most vivid one yet. "You said it yourself – what if something happens and we lose him?"

He stiffened, alarmed. "Are you okay? Because, Kate, if you're in pain or you don't feel well you need to tell me—"

Without waiting for her permission, he slid her shirt up, applying gentle pressure to her abdomen with his fingers, and she shuddered at how close the action was to her dream, but the muscles were soft, relaxed.

"It's nothing like that," she assured him, touching his bicep, feeling it go lax with relief when the baby shifted.

He let his hand linger there for a moment before he pulled back, replacing her shirt. "He seems okay. Stronger. He was easier to find that time," he told her with a grin.

"I just… Call it a mother's instinct, but I just have this bad feeling that won't go away," she confessed. "I'm scared all the time, Jack."

His expression turned serious again as he considered this. "We don't even know if we're headed in the right direction," he reminded her. "Juliet kept some of the medical equipment at the barracks for emergencies – why don't we stop there for a while? I can give you a proper exam and maybe we can even find out something about this Jacob."

"Thank you," she agreed, fresh tears springing to her eyes as she realised how glad she was that she told him, how grateful she was to have someone to share her fears with after being alone for so long.

If nothing else, she knew she could trust him to take care of their baby.

"You know, I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds like you're worried about more than just complications," he said after a moment. "You wanna tell me about that?"

He'd taken the news of her pregnancy better than she'd thought. "It's Claire," she confessed with a sigh, shooting him a nervous glance. Everything else aside, she was his sister. She had no idea how he would feel about what she had to say.

"She's been showing up in my dreams – since before I even knew there _was_ a baby – telling me the only way to keep him safe is to bring Aaron back. I thought they would stop if I did what she said…"

"But they're getting worse," he repeated with a thoughtful look.

"I think she wants me to go to the cabin," she told him, biting her lip.

He was nodding along as though he understood, but she couldn't read his expression and that freaked her. What if he tried to blame it on her pregnancy like he did with Claire? What if he thought she was unfit to be a mother?

"I know how this must sound, Jack—" she rushed on even though she had no idea how to convince him of all people that it wasn't crazy.

"No, it's okay, I believe you," he assured her with an ironic smile.

"You do?" she checked, surprised. She'd never known him to be that open minded before; it was completely new territory for her.

But that didn't stop her from being relieved, when he agreed, "Yeah." He let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I believe that someone or some_thing_ wanted us to come back here and that we're supposed to find Claire."

It was so unlike him that she had no idea what to say. "That's quite a turnaround, Jack," she teased him, only half joking. "I thought you didn't believe in destiny?"

"That was a long time ago," he said, offering her his hand. "Come on. Since we're already awake, we should get moving…"

* * *

Okay, so I'm mean, letting you think the baby died but it has more impact that way!

Next chapter: The barracks... ;)


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for the reviews. Hopefully this chapter makes up for scaring you last time! ;)

* * *

Chapter 12.

"So you've seen the baby? In your dreams?" Jack asked later that morning as they hiked along, and Kate nodded even though she never got a very good look at him before he was taken from her again.

The closer she got to her due date, the more she couldn't wait to hold him and count each of his fingers and toes, like she should have been able to in her dreams.

"What does he look like?"

"Like you," she confessed. She couldn't imagine him any other way.

"Really? I was hoping he'd look more like you." He flashed her a lopsided grin and she couldn't help being charmed at how much like the old Jack he seemed.

"I guess we'll find out in a couple of months," she told him, ducking her head to hide the flush that crept into her cheeks.

"What's gonna happen then, Jack?" she said after a moment. Now that he knew, and he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, she had no idea how it was going to work, especially if Aaron was still around then.

If he couldn't be a father to both of them, then there was little chance of the four of them ever being a family, and that was what she longed for more than anything.

"Well, if it's okay with you, I'd like to be there when the baby's born," he told her, shooting her a nervous glance, as though unsure how this request would be received.

"Of course," she agreed, even though it broke her heart to hear him asking her permission. It should have been a given. Of course she wanted him there. She wanted him there for everything. "He's your son. I would never try to keep him from you."

She couldn't do that to him, or to their son, not when she knew how good he was going to be with him. "My mom did that to me – took me away from my dad – and I still haven't forgiven her," she told him. No matter what happened between her and Jack, she never wanted her own child to hate her that way.

He nodded, but she could tell that it wasn't the answer he'd been hoping for when he continued on in silence.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked for a moment.

"Sure," she agreed, tensing at the sharp note in his voice, knowing that whatever it was, she wasn't going to like it.

"If it wasn't for these nightmares you've been having, would ever've told me?" he pressed, catching her eye when she glanced over at him, stunned.

She could feel herself growing defensive at the implications of his words. "Eventually," she insisted, picking up the pace so that wouldn't have to see his wounded expression, leaving him behind. "It's just different now. There's not much you can do."

It wasn't true – she needed him more than ever– but rather than fight with her about it, he let the conversation die out.

"Lab's this way," he told her in a clipped tone when they reached the outskirts of the barracks around noon, leading her towards one of the houses.

She'd never seen them so deserted, like one of those model towns they used for nuclear testing rather than a place where so many people had once lived.

"They have a lab?" she repeated, surprised. He still hadn't told her much about his time with the Others but he couldn't have been their prisoner in the same way that she was because, unlike her, he seemed to know his way around.

"The people who built this place originally were scientists, so yeah, they have a lab," he explained, slamming the heel of his boot into the wood to splinter the lock.

"What d'you want me to do?" she asked as she followed him inside, taking in the jumble of shelves and outdated medical equipment.

The glass from a broken test tube crunched underfoot.

"You can sit down – here is fine," he told her, pulling back the curtain on a small makeshift exam area.

She dropped her backpack onto the floor and climbed up onto the bed as he wheeled an ultrasound machine apart from the rest of the clutter.

"I just have to remember where this all goes..." he muttered, half to himself, inspecting a bundle of cables.

"But you have done this before?" she checked.

"During my residency," he agreed. He flashed her a triumphant grin as he plugged one into a socket at the back and it roared to life. "Of course the last ultrasound I did was on a sixty-seven year old man… Spinal tumour," he added off her puzzled look.

He let out a good-natured chuckle, and as she joined his laugher, she found herself relaxing at how familiar it all was. They'd been here so many times; it felt strange to be on the other side of it now when she knew how amazing it could be.

"I'm gonna need you to lift your shirt up for me," he told her, dragging his stool over to her side.

She did as instructed and he squeezed the gel onto her stomach.

"Not too cold, is it?" he checked, his brow furrowing when she flinched.

"No, it's okay," she agreed, flushing. The way he was looking at her made her skin feel hot.

"Good." He smiled as he turned back to the monitor, concentrating on shifting the wand around to different spots.

Her own smile faded when seconds passed without him finding anything but the murky grey shapes that made up her uterus. She could see what she thought was the flicker of the baby's heart, but there was no sound. "Why can't I hear it?"

"Sometimes it takes a second – especially if he's moving around a lot," he assured her, adjusting a few switches as he continued to circle her belly with the wand, but she could see the he was worried too. "Juliet would be better at this than I am."

"Juliet?" she repeated. It was irrational to get so upset when, as far as she could tell, there was nothing going on, but sometimes she felt like this baby was the one claim she still had on him, and that if they lost it, she was sure to lose him as well. "You wish she was here?"

"Not like _that_!" he insisted.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, their eyes focused on the screen, until he added, the bitterness in his tone palpable, "I'm not the one who was alone with her."

She was tired of him making these little digs at her when he was the one who chose to end things. "What's this really about, Jack?" she demanded. If anyone had earned the right to feel insecure, it was her. "Me asking Juliet for help? Or Sawyer?"

She wasn't going to let him make her feel guilty when nothing happened.

"He knows, doesn't he?" he insisted, catching her off guard. This wasn't what she was expecting at all. "You told him before you told me."

"What d'you want me to say? You haven't exactly been here," she reminded him, softening when she saw how hurt he was that she couldn't confide in him. "You were out of our lives for almost a month by the time I even took the test. You quit your job, you left town – until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't even know if you were alive."

She could feel her anger returning as it occurred to her that if he was anyone else, she would have written him off by now, but it wasn't like him to be so dismissive of her. "So yeah, I didn't tell you," she agreed, baiting him, "because I didn't think you'd care."

She could see that he was shocked, and maybe even a little annoyed. "How can you even say that, Kate?" he spluttered.

He'd had four months to contact her and he'd chosen to pretend that that night never happened. "How could I not?" she insisted, locking eyes with him, daring him to give her another excuse, but their baby chose that moment to announce himself.

"There he is," Jack said, tearing his eyes from hers as a steady pulse filled the room, and she let out a breath she hadn't even known she was holding. "That's good."

"Really?" she pressed, pushing herself up onto her elbows to give herself a better view. He looked the same as he did at her last appointment… Was that really only a little over a week ago now?

"One hundred and fifty beats per minute – that's well within the normal heart range for a foetus," he assured her, pointing to the reading in the corner of the screen, and she found herself returning his grin as she settled back on the bed to watch.

After a moment, he printed the screen and switched the monitor off.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't care, Kate," he told her in a low voice, strained with emotion, wiping the gel from her skin, his touch delicate, almost reverent as if he were afraid of breaking her. It was one of the things she loved most about him: the way he could be so passionate and yet still so gentle at the same time. "But would I be here now if I didn't?"

"Please, Jack," she insisted, winding her fingers around his wrist to stop him. "I wanna trust you, but you need to give me _something_. What happened?" If he could give her a reason – a real one – then maybe it wasn't too late for them.

He considered this for a moment. "What if…" he began, swallowing before trying again. "…What if I told you you're not the only one who's been seeing things?"

"Claire?" she checked, careful to keep her expression open, neutral.

He shook his head. "No. My father."

"Oh Jack…" she whispered, raising her hand, brushing his cheek with her fingertips in what was an instinctive gesture. She knew how hard this must be for him when there was a part of him that still blamed himself for his death. "How long?"

"Six months," he admitted, lifting his eyes to hers, those two words loaded with meaning; she could see the shame there as he added, "The first time I saw him was right after we got engaged."

It couldn't be a coincidence; if what he was saying was true, then all of his behaviour: the drinking, the pills, his sudden aversion to Aaron… his obsession with getting back to the island… fit together to form a clear picture in her mind.

"So this was never about us?" she asked, almost afraid of his answer in case she was wrong.

"No. This was never about us," he agreed, his voice coming out hoarse.

"You should have said something," she told him, catching him in a fierce, crushing hug. "I was so sure you thought we were making a mistake."

"Never," he insisted as they pulled back, cupping her face in his hands, his eyes and tone firm. "I love you, Kate. I never stopped, and I never will."

Before she could think too much about what she was doing, she kissed him, sliding her arm around his neck when he responded by deepening it. She felt like after all of those heart-wrenching months without him, she was finally getting him back…

"But Kate, we can't," he told her, breaking it after a moment, bowing his forehead against hers.

"Why not?" she asked, confused and disappointed as her eyelids fluttered open again.

"Because when I'm with you, it's worse," he confessed with a heavy sigh, and she could hear how tortured he was. "I let myself forget and that's when…"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "…That's when I see him…" he finished. "That night at the motel, he told me we had to come back here – he said we weren't done."

What he was describing was almost worse than thinking that he'd moved on. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't the past just leave them alone?

"Hey," he murmured, picking up on the change in her mood, "We just have to finish out this mission—" He dropped a feather light kiss against the corner of her of her mouth, his hands skimming her hair, smoothing it against the back of her head as he released her "—and then I promise you, things will start to settle down."

"And we can talk about what we're gonna do," she reminded him with a tearful smile as she laced her fingers through his, bringing his hand up to rest against her belly.

He smiled in return, kissing her one last time before getting up to collect the print out.

"You keep it," she told him, pressing it to his chest when he offered it to her. "I've got a bunch of them at home."

He acknowledged this with a grateful nod, holding it up so that he could study it. "I still can't believe we made a baby," he mused, tracing the grainy mass with his finger.

"I can," she insisted, admiring it with him. "Your son had me throwing up for three months straight, and now that we're miles away from anything, all I can think about is how badly I want a cheeseburger."

He laughed as he tucked it into the front pocket of his backpack for safekeeping. "Kids, huh?"

She sobered when her attempt to slide off the bed was met with a wave of dizziness. "If it's okay with you, I think I'm gonna take a nap," she told him. It looked like they would be there a while; who knew when she would get another chance to sleep on a real mattress?

"You okay?" he checked, grabbing her arm to steady her.

"Yeah, just tired," she assured him. For the first time in almost a month she could taste bile in the back of her throat. "I didn't get much sleep last night—"

"I don't think either of us did," he quipped.

"—And my back is starting to hurt from sleeping on the ground," she added, massaging it with the heel of her palm for emphasis.

"Okay," he agreed, riffling through the contents of a couple of drawers until he found a clean syringe. "I just need to draw some blood and then we're done."

She stuck out her arm for him, biting her lip when he inserted the needle into her elbow, collecting enough to fill a small vial, nervous as she wondered what he thought it was going to tell him.

"Do I get a lollipop?" she teased, to cover her anxiety as he pressed a bandaid over the wound.

"Sorry, looks like we're fresh out," he teased back. "But maybe later, when I'm done here, I could give you a back rub?"

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but there was a seriousness in his tone that caused her lips to turn up into a smile. It felt nice to be taken care of again.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she agreed.

* * *

Next chapter: More on Kate's blood and Jack gets a warning (and some new instructions)... ;)


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter because you're either going to love me or hate me after this one! Either way, it explains the fluff... ;)

* * *

Chapter 13.

_"Is he just like you imagined?" Jack asked Kate as the doctor placed their newborn son on her chest. _

_"No," she confessed, lifting her head to beam at him. "He's better."_

_Everything she'd been afraid of seemed so far away as he leant in and grazed her lips with a tender kiss._

_"Perfect," she murmured, a contented grin spreading over her face as he drew back, but when she looked down at the baby, he had stopped squirming and was still. _

_Too still._

_"What's wrong with him?" she asked, panicking as she glanced around at the doctors and nurses, who were all too busy making preparations for the next birth to notice._

_"Nothing, Kate, he—" Jack tried to tell her, but she cut him off. _

_"He's not breathing!" she insisted. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? _

_"What're you talking about?" he said, his brow furrowing as he followed her gaze. "He's…" _

_Blue. _

_"…Dead," he finished, staring at her in disbelief when he saw that their son wasn't moving. _

_"No, he can't be!" she cried, even though she could already feel him growing cold, but before she had time to digest this, one of the nurses came over and pried him from her arms, as if he were just another thing to clean up. "Where're you taking him? Give him back!" _

_Through her tears she could see Claire, standing off to one side, smirking at her. "You did this to him! You killed him!" she screamed, lunging at her; she wanted to kill her – to tear her apart with her bare hands – but Jack grabbed her shoulders._

_"Kate? You need to snap out of it, okay?" he insisted. "Kate, wake up."_

It was only then that she realised she was dreaming again; cracking one eyelid, seeing Jack hovering over her with a concerned expression, it hit her that she hadn't just imagined him shaking her.

She was so used to having these nightmares alone, or in the jungle, that, for a moment, she was sure they must be in their bedroom back home, until the memory of their trek to the barracks flooded back into her mind.

"Hey, what took…?" she tried to greet him, but almost as soon as she opened her mouth she was overwhelmed with the urge to be sick.

She had never been as grateful for Jack's lightening fast reflexes as she was when he seized the trashcan from underneath the desk and slid it under her head, just in time for her to spill the contents of her stomach into it.

"It's okay, let it all out," he murmured, massaging between her shoulder blades with the heel of his palm while he used his other arm to support her.

"I don't understand," she said, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand once it seemed to have passed. Her morning sickness had been gone for almost a month, but now she felt dizzy and weak. "Why…?"

He turned away towards the window; not fast enough to keep her from noticing his grave expression.

He found something, she realised with a sinking feeling. He knew what it was, he just didn't know how to tell her.

"What's happening to me?" she pressed, her fear reflected in her voice as she tried to sit up and discovered that she couldn't, sinking back into the pillow instead.

It was a long time before he answered. "Your leukocyte – white blood cell – count is dropping," he explained in an even tone, glancing back at her to gage her response.

When she just stared at him with a blank look he added, so soft that she almost didn't hear him, "You're sick, Kate."

"Sick like I have the flu?" she checked, just in case she was misinterpreting what he was saying. If Aaron could get roseola, and he could get appendicitis on the island…

He shook his head. "Sick like whatever happened to the other women is happening to you," he confessed. "Juliet said nausea was the first symptom."

"Oh," was all she could say. It shouldn't come as this much of a surprise when she knew there was a chance that the same mysterious illness would afflict her too, but somehow, she'd managed to convince herself that she was immune. "Wow. So I'm gonna die?"

She fought to maintain her composure, but hot tears burned her eyes as she thought back to watching her son take his last breath; in reality, neither of them was going to live long enough for her to give birth…

"No, Kate, you're not gonna die," he told her, setting his jaw as he struggled to keep his own emotions under control. "Because tomorrow – as soon as it gets light – we're going back to the beach."

"What about Claire?" If they left now, it would never be over. Their son would never be safe, and neither would Aaron.

"Claire's dead," he said, parroting Sawyer's words back to her in a mechanical tone that scared her even more than the news he'd just given her.

He'd been obsessing over her fate for months – _years_, if she was honest with herself – how could he just let it go now, when he was so close?

"Do you really believe that?" she pressed, finally succeeding in pushing herself upright.

"It doesn't matter what I believe – I'm not gonna put your life in any more danger than I already have. Yours or our baby's," he insisted, shaking his head.

She could feel herself growing frustrated. "You haven't _done_ anything. You didn't have to twist my arm to get me to come with you – I came because I wanted to find out what happened to Claire, and that's exactly what we're gonna do," she argued with more confidence than she felt.

She didn't want to die, but she couldn't see any other choice; she couldn't live with her friend's presence for the rest of her life.

"We're supposed to do this, Jack – you said it yourself," she reminded him, forcing a gentler note into her tone. He was only trying to do what he thought was best for her and the baby, even he was being selfish; she knew she would be doing the exact same thing if the situation where reversed.

She glanced at the plaque hanging on the wall over the dresser: GOD LOVES YOU AS HE LOVES JACOB. They were everywhere, in every house, in at least one room; part of the same bizarre brainwashing process she and Sawyer had stumbled across while trying to escape the other island with Alex and Karl.

"What I don't understand is why. Why us?" she said. What made them so special?

"Because she's my sister," he told her, frowning at her, as though this should be obvious.

She shook her head. It couldn't be a coincidence that of all the survivors, _Claire_ was the one the island had claimed, or that it seemed to want Jack and Aaron as well. She just wasn't sure what she had to do with it, unless…

"Ben said something to me the other day, on the boat," she blurted out, still staring at the inscription.

Out of the corner, of her eye, she saw him stiffen. "What, Kate? What did he say?" he pressed, a dangerous edge creeping into his tone, and she wondered if he thought Ben knew this would happen.

"He said I was chosen for this," she confessed, touching her belly in what had become a way of reassuring herself that her baby was still there and intact. Still safe. "By God, or Jacob – I don't know. He never gave me an answer."

A sob stuck in her throat as she turned back to him. "But if somebody chose me, why am I dying?" None of it made any sense.

His expression crumpled under the combined weight of his anger and grief as he ran his palm over his face. "Hey, you are not _dying_ – you hear me?" he told her when he recovered, but he couldn't hide the waver in his voice. He was just as scared as she was.

"We've been through too much to get here for it to end like this. We're gonna find Claire and make it back to the boat in plenty of time, and a few months from now – when all of _this_ is a distant memory – our son will be born in a hospital in L.A." He tucked a curl behind her ear, stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers, his eyes glistening as he flashed her what should have been a reassuring smile.

More than anything, she wanted him to be right, so she nodded, playing along for his sake. "Four months – not long to go now," she agreed with a tearful smile. "And I don't even have a nursery to put him in. Aaron's crib is still in the garage..."

At least once a week for the last month she'd planned to clear out the spare room, to make space for the baby, but she always found an excuse to put it off; she'd spent so much of her pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong – to lose one, or both, of her sons – believing that it just wasn't meant to be, and now her worst fears had been confirmed. It _was_ too good to be true, only this time it wasn't a nightmare…

"Well we'll have to do something about that as soon as we get home," he told her, forcing a grin. He smoothed the loose tendrils back from her forehead, cupping the sides of her head as he let his lips linger there. "But right now, you need to rest."

She was physically and emotionally spent; for once in her life, she didn't put up a fight, curling up on her side.

"Will you…?" she trailed off, embarrassed, relieved when he seemed to understand what she was asking without her having to say it.

She just wanted to be close to him; he kicked his boots off and crawled onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her so that they rested over her bump, and she scooted back into his chest, smiling when he pressed his warm cheek against hers.

If she _did_ die, her one consolation was getting to be with him like this again; knowing how much he still loved her.

"Thanks," she whispered, closing her eyes…

* * *

Later, after Kate was asleep, Jack lay awake, replaying what she'd said.

He didn't understand it either: Claire and Rousseau were both pregnant when they arrived; the only explanation he could think of was that she was still only in her second trimester, which, according to Juliet, was the most dangerous.

That, or he was being punished for leaving.

He slid his arm out from beneath her, disentangling his limbs from hers, and retrieved his backpack from the floor, taking out the ultrasound picture she'd given him.

It looked so normal, so _healthy_, he thought with a pang as he held it up to the light. It was hard to believe that in a week, or a month, or even a few days, both of them could be dead. And he would be alone.

Again.

It was too painful to consider; in what had almost become second nature to him, he found himself reaching for the pill bottle that had sunk near the bottom, desperate for the quiet that it brought him. If he could just slow his mind down, he might be able to sleep; at the very least, he wouldn't have to think about it anymore.

He couldn't even comfort her: no matter how hard he tried to convince her that death wasn't a possibility, both of them knew that it was imminent if she stayed there, maybe even inevitable, depending on whether or not her symptoms persisted in the real world. Without knowing what was causing them, he couldn't even be sure that taking her off the island alone would be enough to make her well again.

A few hours ago, he'd felt like the luckiest man on earth: not only was the woman he loved prepared to give him a second chance, but he was getting a baby into the bargain as well, and now, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't lose them…

"You won't," a familiar voice assured him.

He glanced up to see his father sitting in a chair by the window, illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the curtains.

And for the first time, he was actually relieved. Maybe he could tell him how to save them…

"How?" he asked, returning the bottle to his pack. As tempting as it was, he couldn't pretend that this wasn't happening: he had to _do_ something, before it was too late. "How do I keep them from winding up like the others?"

"Jacob will take care of everything," his father insisted, his tone soothing yet commanding, making the decision for him, and for a moment, Jack almost believed that he was alive. "All you have to do, is bring them to the cabin…"

* * *

Next chapter: Kate makes a shocking discovery... ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for the reviews. You'll probably notice that this chapter is shorter than the others, but since I haven't had much time to write lately, and it's been at least two weeks, I felt like I should post something for those of you who've been asking... ;)

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Chapter 14.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Kate asked, fumbling for the flush button as Jack crouched in front of her, a glass of water held out towards her.

She had tried not to disturb him as she slipped out of bed and crept into the bathroom, but she wasn't quiet enough to escape his notice; it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before she felt his presence behind her, his large hands sweeping the strands that had tumbled out of her ponytail back against the nape of her neck while she threw up in a twisted version of morning sickness.

"Couldn't sleep," he assured her, forcing a watery smile as he pressed it into her hands. "Here, drink this – it's important that you keep your fluids up."

She wasn't sure that she would be able to keep it down, but she took a few measured sips to humour him before setting it down on the tiles and using the toilet tank to pull herself to her feet.

When she caught sight of her reflection in the medicine cabinet over the sink, she almost didn't recognise herself: her skin was pale – almost translucent – so that her freckles seemed to float, disembodied, like stars across her cheeks; her eyes ringed with greyish circles.

She looked even worse than she felt; in fact, for the first time since Jack had filled her in on her test results, she thought she looked like someone who was dying.

"Let's get you back into bed, okay?" he said, sliding his arm around her when he saw how unsteady she was as she struggled to make her way across the hall to the bedroom.

She wanted to tell him no, that she could do it, but she was afraid that she would pass out without him there to hold her up, so she allowed him to help her, only letting go long enough to scramble back under the blankets.

Even though the window was closed, and the air outside was humid, she found herself shivering, so he searched the closet until he found a spare comforter, tucked away on the top shelf.

"How's that?" he asked, covering her over with it.

"Better," she agreed with a grateful smile, burrowing under it as she tried to make herself more comfortable. "Thanks."

An uncomfortable silence descended over them as he lingered by her side, opening his mouth then closing it again, as if unsure what to say.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, kneeling on the carpet beside her. He smoothed the damp curls back from her temple, grazing it with a light kiss, his forehead resting against it.

"Great," she joked with a feeble cough.

Now that she was beginning to warm up, the room was growing incredibly stuffy, just like it did whenever she had the flu…

"I think we should go back, Kate," he told her, a forceful note in his tone when he lifted his head, his expression troubled, and she wondered if he'd even listened to her answer. He seemed to have decided it for her. "It's only gonna get worse."

"We can't," she insisted, panic bubbling inside her. She couldn't just ignore the warning. "Not without Claire."

She was almost at breaking point: more worn out than she'd ever been in her life, yet afraid to fall asleep; poisoned by the island, yet terrified to leave it.

She was trying not to fall apart, but the closer they got to their destination, the harder it was for her to breathe; she felt as if the walls were closing in on her, crushing her...

Before she could stop herself, she began to cry, her chest wracked with painful spasms, salt water pooling on the pillow beneath her cheek. She couldn't help it: what if this sickness was like a cancer, spreading through her body, turning her cells against her? What if it was already too late?

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," Jack murmured, his voice coming out low and helpless as he did his best to comfort her. He wrapped his fingers around hers, squeezing her hand in a gesture that she knew was meant to reassure her. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Don't say that, Jack," she told him, pulling away from him.

His brow furrowed into a deep frown as he tried to figure out what he'd said wrong. "Why not?"

They were exactly the words she was longing to hear, but she couldn't accept them: not when she knew the truth. "Because you can't promise something like that, and I don't… I don't want you to blame yourself if—"

She swallowed hard, closing her eyes to hold back the tears as her hand drifted to her belly, where their son still felt so alive. She would give anything to know that he was safe now, that he would live, even if she didn't.

"—If we don't make it. You have to stay strong, for Aaron. He's gonna need you. Claire too."

If she was alive, then going from being the mother of a three-month-old baby to a three-year-old-boy was going to be a huge adjustment for her.

"You can help her," she told him. It didn't hurt that he would be able to keep an eye on her, to make sure the island hadn't turned her into something else, something evil and wrong, like it had in her dreams. Something that could hurt the boy she still thought of as her son.

He shook his head, desperate to be free of the conversation, but she wasn't finished. "Do you think…? If I can hold on a little while longer, there's a chance he could be okay, right? The baby?" she asked. "I've heard of babies surviving as early as 21 weeks."

The thought sparked a small glimmer of hope inside of her. She came here to protect him, to _save_ him. Maybe it didn't all have to be for nothing…

When he spoke again, his tone was heavy with defeat. "I don't know, Kate," he told her, running his hand over his face. "It's a long shot – even if we do get back home."

She could see that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. That or he _couldn't_. "I don't want you to think about that now, okay?" he said once he managed to pull himself together. "I'm gonna take another look at Juliet's notes, see if I missed anything. You just try to get some sleep, and then when you're feeling up to it, we can keep going."

If that ever happened; right now, she didn't even have the strength to get up and open that window to let some fresh air in.

But she understood his need to stay positive, so she nodded. "Okay."

He laid a gentle hand over her bump, stroking it with his thumb, pecking her lips as he stood. "Sweet dreams, Kate," he whispered.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she slept for – it felt like hours in her fitful state – but when she woke again, he was gone.

Time was running out, for her and her baby; if they were ever going to make it past the barracks, she was going to have to start pushing herself, so she dragged her aching body out of bed and stumbled back into the bathroom to take a shower.

The water was cold, and murky from years of neglect, but afterwards, she felt more like herself. She even thought she was a little hungry.

She had no idea when Jack would be back, so rather than wait for him, she wandered into the kitchen where she raided the refrigerator and each of the cabinets, but after three years, nothing was edible. Even the canned goods seemed to have passed their expiration date.

When she returned to the bedroom, she saw that he had left his pack sitting on a chair in the corner; remembering that he'd picked some mangoes in the jungle the day before, she dug through it, the feel of something small and cylindrical buried near the bottom turning her stomach.

He lied to her, she realised as she pulled out the familiar orange bottle, studying the label.

_Oxycodene._

It looked harmless enough, but she hated what they did to him, how different he became with them coursing through his system, numbing him, not just to his own pain, but to hers as well.

How could he bring them here, where they were supposed to be starting over?

She couldn't believe how close she'd come to forgiving him, to inviting him back into their lives.

He only wanted her to _think_ that he was clean, so that she would feel secure enough to allow him to get close to her again, and like an idiot, she'd fallen for it.

Again.

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Next chapter: Kate gives Jack an ultimatum... ;)


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks for the reviews. Since people seem to be coming back from holidays, I thought it would be a good time to post this chapter, which has been sitting on my harddrive for almost a week. That's given me time to write the next chapter as well, so review and you might even get it tomorrow! ;)

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Chapter 15.

Kate was feverish and weak when Jack kissed her goodbye – he was almost afraid to leave her, even if it was for her own good – so he was surprised to find her waiting for him in the foyer when he returned.

He wasn't any closer to figuring out what to do, how to help her. There was nothing useful in any of Juliet's notes, just pages of speculation, most of which was still untested; sooner or later he was going to have to tell her that, but right now, he needed her to fight, and to do that, she had to believe that she could win.

"Hey," he greeted her, forcing a cheerful note into his tone. "Good to see you up an—" His smile faltered when she stepped in front of him, barring his entrance to the house.

"Kate?"

She didn't reply, her eyes cold as she brought her palm to the side of his jaw; he clutched his cheek to quell the stinging sensation, too shocked by her actions to move.

She didn't have the strength to cause him the kind of pain that she had at the airport, but what hurt him the most was the sentiment behind it.

One minute they were on their way back; the next, she seemed disgusted with him all over again: he couldn't understand why when all he'd done was take care of her, like he should have when they were together.

"Whoa, Kate, is everything—?" he tried again, holding his hands up to keep her from hitting him a second time, but she just shook her head, pressing her lips together into a thin, colourless line.

She picked his backpack up from a spot near the door and tossed it at him, slamming the door in his face when he fumbled to catch it.

"Kate!" he cried, dropping it at his feet, smacking the wood with the side of his palm. He wasn't sure what just happened: was it possible that she was just hormonal, because of her pregnancy? Or was there something else going on? Something more serious? "Come on, Kate – open the door and we can talk about this!"

Even though she was quiet, he could sense her presence on the other side, and he knew that she was still there, waiting to see what he would do; he continued to pound on it with his fist until she cracked it a few inches, wide enough for him to make out her profile.

"You wanna explain this to me, huh?" she demanded, hurling a bottle at him. It hit him square in the chest, where the cartilage was still tender from her last attack, making him wince. "What was all that crap about being sober?"

When he bent to retrieve it, he saw that it was the Oxycodene pills he thought he'd hidden safely from her; he almost wished that he'd left it alone, instead of forcing the issue.

"You went through my bag?" he asked her, the words coming out sharper and more accusing than he intended. He didn't know who he was more upset with: her, for not trusting him, or himself, for giving her a reason to doubt him in the first place. "Why would you do that, Kate?"

She glared at him through the tears that had begun to trickle down her cheeks, catching on her bottom lip in a way that he managed to find both heartbreaking and adorable at the same time.

God, she was beautiful, even like this.

"I was looking for food for your baby," she retorted, relinquishing her grip on the door to fold her arms, the defensive posture accentuating the curve of her belly.

He didn't think that it would be possible for him to feel worse than he did at that moment: at a time when he should be being strong for her; easing her fears, he was just giving her more to worry about.

He used the opportunity to try to cross the threshold again, but when he reached out to her, she jerked her shoulder away.

"Don't touch me," she muttered, drying her eyes with the back of her hand, but the waver in her voice made him question what she would do if he pulled her into his arms and just held her anyway.

The only thing worse than her anger was knowing that he'd hurt her again. "It's not what you think, Kate," he insisted. "I never took them – not once in almost four months."

He needed her to believe him, to trust him; he couldn't help the pleading note that crept into his tone as he rushed on, "When would I? You've been with me the whole time."

He should have realised that, after everything he'd put her through last time – and the time before that – it would take more than that to convince her, even if he was telling the truth.

"If you've stopped taking them, then why do you still have them, Jack?" she pressed, refusing to budge, even to let him inside.

"I don't know!" he hissed, pressing his fingertips to his temples in frustration. It was stupid to think that she wouldn't find out. He should have thrown them away when he had the chance, before it got this complicated. "As a safety net, I guess."

He lowered his voice, not even sure he wanted her to hear as he finished, "In case I couldn't cope." He was sick of being a screw up in her eyes.

He sighed, dropping his head into his hand. "All I know is that's not who I am anymore," he told her, running his fingers through his hair as he glanced back up at her. "I don't need them. You and the baby are more important to me."

He had to find a way to get it across to her that he'd changed, that he was willing to do whatever it took to repair the damage that he'd caused. "I wanna be there for you, Kate – both of you. I wanna be a good father. I want you and our son to be proud of me."

He could see that he was finally beginning to reach her; she softened, flashing him a tiny, shy smile.

But a moment later, it faded, her expression shifting again, into one of wariness. "Prove it," she insisted, moving aside so that he could re-enter the house. "I want you to get rid of them – right now."

He'd known all along that it was coming, but now that it was time to act, he was paralysed by indecision. Her body was turning on her – killing her – and for the first time in his career, he had no idea how to fix it: what if he couldn't do this? How was he supposed to face losing her without them?

"Kate…"

He could see the disappointment in her eyes. "No more excuses, Jack. I'm sick of excuses. If you ever wanna lay eyes on this child, you'll do it," she told him. "He's not gonna grow up with a junkie for a dad – I won't let him." The set of her mouth and jaw was firm, assuring him that she wasn't kidding.

He would do anything for her: he would trade places with her if he could; compared to that, what she was asking was very small.

It should be easy.

He squeezed past her, leading the way to the bathroom, where he uncapped the bottle and tipped its contents into the toilet bowl.

He'd already had more chances than he deserved: if he screwed this one up, he doubted that she would be generous enough to give him a fourth.

He couldn't lose her again, and that was the one guaranteed way to do it; after a brief hesitation – during which he caught her watching him with a disapproving frown – he pumped the flush button a few times, until every last pill had been swept away.

Afterwards, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted from him; freer, now that he'd broken their hold on him.

Her face split into a grin that was half surprise and half happiness. "I didn't think you were actually gonna do it," she confessed, her eyes shining, and he wondered why he'd ever thought he needed to get high to feel this good, when all he really needed was her.

She slid her arms around him, dropping a lingering kiss against the edge of his jaw, soothing the spot where her palm had irritated it earlier. "I _am_ proud of you, Jack – of what a good man you are; how far you've come – and our son will be too," she whispered, pressing her lips into the hollow where it met his earlobe, though he could tell by the anguish behind her expression that she still didn't believe either of them would live long enough for their baby to get to know him like she did. "You're already a good father, and when the time comes, you're gonna be an amazing dad…"

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Next chapter: A declaration from Kate, and Claire makes another appearance, but not in a dream... ;)


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for the reviews. I don't think this fic has _that_ much more mileage, and interest seems to be dying down, so I'm going to try to resolve it before the new season starts... ;)

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Chapter 16.

"How're you doing?" Jack checked, pausing to glance back at Kate.

If it was up to him, they would have spent another night at the barracks, but she was tired of lying around, wallowing in self-pity. The best thing she could do for herself and her baby right now was to keep moving so that they could get off the island sooner, but this was easier said than done: she'd been lagging behind for the last mile or so, the distance between them growing wider with each step.

"Do you need to take a break?"

"Stop fussing, Jack," she complained, forcing a bright smile even though her head was spinning and her lungs felt as though they were made of lead. "You don't have to keep asking me that."

"_Yes_, I do." He fixed her with an intent stare, the kind that she loved and hated because it meant that he was gearing up for a fight. "I know you, Kate – you'll insist that you're fine, and you won't say anything until you're at the point of collapse. Then you'll be sorry because we both know you don't really wanna hurt the baby. So I'm gonna keep asking you until you give me an honest answer."

He'd always had issues with letting go – afraid that if he let her do what she wanted, she would get hurt, or worse – but he was being so maddeningly overprotective now that it scared her, like he knew something about her condition that he wasn't divulging, something that proved how hopelessly screwed she was.

She stopped, her hands flying to her hips as she met his gaze with a challenging look. If he really wanted the truth, then she would give it to him, and afterwards, he would wish that she hadn't.

"I'm seventeen weeks pregnant – my back hurts, I'm tired, hungry, nauseous and this heat is making my feet swell so much I can hardly fit them in my shoes –, I just spent the last three daystrekking through the jungle on an island in the middle of nowhere, away from my son – who I now have to _give up_ –, I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over three monthsbecause the woman who _abandoned _him is haunting my dreams, and to top it all off, I just found out that there's a pretty good chance me and my baby will both die some time in the very near future, so it's probably all for nothing anyway… How do you _think_ I'm doing, Jack?" she snapped. "I'm barely holding it together – is that what you wanna hear?"

She was near tears by the time she reached the end of her tirade; his expression softened with guilt. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," he told her, pulling her towards him, folding her into his embrace.

She went easily, sinking into his chest, but she shook her head at his words. "No, it's not," she insisted, a muffled sob escaping her throat despite her best efforts to keep it locked away. "How is it gonna be okay?"

"I don't know, but we have to believe that it will," he told her, massaging gentle circles between her shoulder blades. She rested her cheek against his sternum, letting the soothing rhythm of his heart wash over her while he stroked her hair. "It's all gonna be over soon."

She suppressed a shudder at the thought of all the things this could mean, all the ways it could end.

He was right: she was trying so hard to pretend that she could do this, that she didn't feel as bad as she did, when they both knew that she wasn't going to make it much further before she dropped.

"I think… I need to stop," she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper as she lifted her chin to shoot him a miserable look.

* * *

"You okay?" he asked later, breaking into her thoughts.

They were lying on a blanket together by the fire, but neither of them was asleep, each with too much weighing on their minds.

She shifted onto her other side to face him. "It's been hours since I felt him move," she confessed, glancing down at her belly. It wasn't unusual for the baby to fall still for long stretches of time, but whenever he did, it made her uneasy, especially here, _now_…

If they were going to die, then she prayed that she would be first so that she would be spared the agony of losing him in the real world too.

For a brief moment, she considered poking him, just to make him uncomfortable so that he would be forced to change positions, but she didn't want to disturb him now that they finally had a moment of peace.

Jack pushed himself up onto his elbow beside her. "And you think something's wrong?" he pressed, his concern palpable.

"No, I just… worry… sometimes," she explained to diffuse his alarm before it turned into full-blown panic. Under different circumstances, she might have dismissed the fear as irrational, but she couldn't when the threat to her pregnancy was real. "All this stress can't be good for him. I don't want him to grow up neurotic because of it."

She expected the mood to change again then, like it always did when one of them mentioned the future, but rather than allow her to slip back into her funk, he sat up, scrambling onto his knees.

"What're you doing?" she asked, laughing despite herself when he rolled her shirt up and pressed his ear to her belly, his hands on either side of her body to steady himself.

"Shh," he hissed, shooting her a mock disapproving look as he strained to listen.

"What d'you hear?" she whispered when a smile broke out across his face.

"Right now?" he checked.

She nodded eagerly. It was the one thing he could do that she herself would never be able to.

He grinned. "All those mangoes you just ate."

She smacked his bicep, horrified. "It was only _three_," she complained, letting her head drop back against her backpack.

He rested his chin on her belly, and she could feel the vibrations of his throat against her side as he said, still teasing her, "I hope you enjoyed them, buddy, because those were the last ones."

"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry – you must be starving," she insisted, flushing with embarrassment. He hadn't said anything at the time, but then he wouldn't, would he? He always made sure that she was fed first and fed well before he ate himself.

"But you know what? It's okay because I have everything I need right here," he continued as if she hadn't spoken. He pressed his lips to the spot an inch below her bellybutton, where she envisioned the baby's head to be; it tickled, but she forced herself to remain still, afraid that if she did something to draw attention to herself, he would get self-conscious and stop, and she never wanted him to.

Up until that moment, most of his interactions with their unborn child had been about making sure that he was alive and healthy; it was a side of him that she'd never seen before: the side of him that was a father first and a doctor second.

"I know we didn't get off to the best start, but you and Mommy are the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, and since she was good enough to take me back, I promise I won't ever forget that again," he said, as if telling the baby a secret, his voice low and raw, laying soft, scratchy kisses above the waistband of her jeans, making her smile when his actions were rewarded with an answering twitch.

Her heart swelled with warmth and affection for him as she let everything that he'd just said sink in. "I love you," she whispered, the words tumbling out of her mouth and into the darkness before she had the chance to think them over.

He tensed, lifting his head with a start. "You do?" he checked, stunned; she realised then that it was the first time that she'd said it to him since that night at the motel, when their son was conceived.

She could tell him that she was just talking to the baby too, but she didn't really want to take it back, not when she meant it with every fibre of her being.

She grinned. "Yeah, I do," she agreed. He'd waited long enough to hear it.

He let her shirt fall into place as he moved back up her body to kiss her. "Say it again," he murmured against her lips, only half kidding, when they pulled back.

"I love you," she repeated with more confidence this time, laughter bubbling in her throat as he returned her grin, ducking his head again – this time to nuzzle the side of her neck – and his stubble scraped the sensitive skin.

She sobered again after a moment, pushing him back off of her, gripping his shoulders to keep him at arm's length so she could see his expression as she added, "I always have, Jack."

He swallowed, flashing her with a tiny smile. "You really are the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me," he confessed, brushing her cheek with the backs of his fingers.

He sank onto his elbows, careful to keep his weight off of her as he kissed her again; she looped her arms around him, urging him as close as the baby would allow while she took her time reacquainting herself with all of the things that she'd missed: the taste of his breath, the heady scent of his sweat mingled with the soap that he'd used at the barracks, the feel of his muscles straining under her fingertips…

She wanted to keep going, to test the boundaries further, but in the end, her exhaustion won out; breaking the kiss, she rolled into him, hooking her knee over his so that her belly was cradled between them.

"Night, buddy," he whispered, bending close to it, rubbing it with his palm; she felt another unmistakable twinge, as if in protest, when he settled back on the blanket beside her.

"I think he likes it when you talk to him," she told him with a languid smile, kissing the crook of his neck as she wriggled in closer, resting her head on his shoulder. "He starts moving again every time you stop."

* * *

She was so in tune with him again now that she stirred each time he did, trying to get comfortable on the uneven ground, but didn't wake up until she heard a rusting in the clearing that she knew hadn't come from either of them.

She started when she opened her eyes to find Claire – silhouetted by the fire – standing over them, watching her.

She unpeeled Jack's arm from around her waist so that she could sit up. "Claire? What're you doing out here in the middle of the night?" she insisted, pushing the hair back from her face as she squinted up at her through the darkness. "Everyone thinks you're dead."

She must be dreaming again…

This couldn't be real.

"Looking for you," the other woman explained, seemingly unfazed by this last part as she continued to scrutinise Kate in the dim light, the predatory gaze in her clear blue eyes raising the hairs on the back of Kate's neck.

"Why?"

"Because you have something of mine," she reminded her; as she spoke, Kate's hands came up to cover her belly, shielding her baby, just in case she was planning on trying to harm him again. She wasn't going to let her near him this time.

"Where is he, Kate?"

Her tone was almost menacing; Kate glanced over at Jack, her heart sinking when he mumbled something incomprehensible and resumed his light snoring, oblivious to his sister's presence.

"On the boat with the others. He's safe," she assured her, trying not to let her see how hard she was trembling, her voice taking on a pleading note as she added, "I didn't mean to take him from you, Claire, but you were gone and we didn't know what else to do."

She would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed… wouldn't she?

To her surprise, Claire's irritated expression relaxed into a smile, but it was cold: not the smile of the sweet, gentle woman that she once knew. "It's okay. I get it – you did what you thought was right."

Since making the decision to return with the others, Kate had been bracing herself for her wrath; her understanding words threw her for a loop – especially now that she'd experienced that intense biological connection herself – and she almost wondered if she'd been too hard on her.

"That's it?" she asked. What was the point of spending all of those months convincing her to bring Aaron back if she was just going to change her mind? "After all that, you're just gonna let me keep him?"

"Of course," Claire agreed in a reasonable tone, but there was something else, something less than friendly. She wasn't happy about it: quite the opposite. "But first, you have to come with me. There's something I need to show you."

After everything that she'd witnessed in her dreams, Kate still wasn't sure that she could trust her. "Hold on—" she began, reaching out to wake Jack so that he could tag along, but Claire stopped her.

"Let him sleep," she insisted with a grim smile. "This is just between us girls."

The thought of going anywhere alone with her filled Kate with dread, but there was something in tone that made the offer impossible to resist.

She _had_ to do this. She just didn't know why.

"Okay," she told her, throwing her blanket off in one decisive motion and pushing herself to her feet.

She was careful not to make a sound as she stepped over Jack's sleeping form, to where the other woman was waiting for her at the edge of the jungle. "I'll come with you – but then you have to leave us alone…"

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Next chapter: Jack wakes up alone... ;)


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for the reviews. Once again, the next chapter is mostly written... ;)

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Chapter 17.

"_She needs to start pushing," Jack insisted, pacing the length of the tent that he shared with Kate while Juliet examined her._

_She'd been giving her a week or two to live for the last four months; no one thought that she'd make it this far, but here she was, in the final stages of labour._

"_No, Jack, she doesn't," Juliet argued, her expression resolute as she replaced the blanket covering Kate's legs and straightened. "The baby is already in distress – I've been over our options, and the safest bet is if we do a c-section—"_

_Somewhere deep inside, he knew that she was right: it shouldn't be taking this long. But he couldn't bring himself to risk what was left of Kate's life, not when the shock could send her into cardiac arrest, and finish what the sickness had started the moment she set foot back on the island. "If we cut into her now, it could kill her!"_

"_She's dead anyway!" Juliet snapped, stunning them both. Somehow he'd convinced himself that once she had the baby, her strength would return and everything would be as it was. "You wanna do something? Help me save your son before it's too late and they _both_ die!"_

_As hard as it was to admit, he could tell, by her lack of input, that Kate wasn't in any shape to deliver on her own – the old Kate would have refused surgery, if for no other reason than to prove Juliet wrong – so he eased her shoulders up off the mattress, and together, they carried her to the medical tent, setting her down on the makeshift operating table where Juliet had removed his appendix all those years ago._

_He was afraid that if he sedated her, she would never come out of it, so he numbed the area with the remains of the Lidocaine instead; she flinched, but didn't cry out as the scalpel pierced her flesh, letting out a low, tired moan that tore at his heart._

"_Look, Kate – it's a boy, just like you said," he told her once their son was out, holding the infant – still slick with her blood – up so that she could witness his first cries._

_Her gaze flicked over to them at the sound; she stared at their child with a vague expression, fighting to stay alert, before her eyes rolled back and her body went rigid, her chest jerking in the beginnings of a violent seizure._

"_We're losing her," Juliet cried, her voice raw with panic as she hovered at his side; he half shoved the baby into her hands as he moved to work on his mother._

_He was able to stop the bleeding, and close the incision, but by then, she was too weak to nurse their son herself, so he swaddled him in a fresh towel and laid the wriggling bundle on the pillow beside her._

"_He's just like you. He has your eyes," she whispered – the first words that she'd spoken to him in hours – with a pained smile as she looked him over, but just when he was starting to feel something like hope again, her breathing slowed and hers flickered shut._

_When he checked her pulse, it was fading, and he realised that she'd only ever meant to hold on long enough to see that their son was safe._

"_Kate?"_

_He shook her, gentle and restrained at first, the action becoming more desperate when he couldn't seem to bring her back to consciousness. He didn't want the baby to look like him. He didn't want it at all if the trade-off was saying goodbye to her. _

"_Kate!" he pleaded, not caring that Juliet was still there, rinsing her blood off the instruments to avoid looking at him as he sunk to his knees in the sand. Bitter tears spilled over onto his cheeks in tandem with their son's when, as if sensing his loss, the baby began to wail at the top of his lungs. "Kate, listen to me. Your son needs you. You have to wake up...!"_

His heart thundered against the inside of his ribcage as he did himself, until it occurred to him that no matter how real it had it had felt at the time, this memory was false. She wasn't dead… yet.

She had slipped out of his arms at some point during the night; he glanced over at her to reassure himself that both she and the baby were okay – at least for the time being –, only for his stomach to twist with fear when he noticed that the blanket beside him was empty. "Kate?"

While hiking the day before, they'd had to make frequent stops so that she could either pee or be sick; he tried to console himself with the thought that she couldn't have gone far in her condition: logic told him that she'd probably just snuck into the jungle for some privacy and would be back any second.

He needed to be sure that that was all that it was, so he got up and walked to the edge of the clearing, shouting her name.

Moments passed.

"Kate?" he tried again when she failed to materialise, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as he waited for her to call back. "Can you hear me? _Kate!_"

Wherever she was – if she was even conscious – she was out of range; a thousand horrific scenarios raced through his mind: What if she'd gotten lost out there? What if she'd fallen and couldn't get up? What if she'd gone into preterm labour and was losing their baby while he slept?

What if she'd progressed to the final stage of her illness and lapsed into a coma, just like she had in his dream?

He was struggling to fight back the terror that held him frozen to the spot – unsure what to do, where to start – when he heard a voice behind him.

"Lost something, son?"

His father was sitting on a log a few yards from their campsite, arms folded, one leg crossed over the other, watching him, his expression calm – almost _smug_ – and all of a sudden, Jack was struck by the idea that this was _his _doing.

He'd been nothing but reproachful of his relationship with Kate since he first came to speak to him at the motel. "Where is she?" he demanded, a sharp note creeping into his tone as he rounded on him. "Where's Kate?"

"You _know_ where she is," his father told him, his mood changing to something halfway between annoyance and amusement. "I gave you a simple instruction, and when you chose not to follow it, you forced me to take matters into my own hands."

Jack narrowed his eyes, lost beyond his father's confession that he was responsible for taking away the only two things that made his life worth living. "What d'you mean—?"

"'_I don't know, but we have to believe that it will_,'" Christian repeated with a scornful laugh, standing up, and Jack felt himself flush with anger when he recognised the words as his own. He was mocking him. "Did you really think you could beat this with faith alone? That _believing_ would make it so?"

Christian's eyes burned with a hatred that Jack hadn't even been aware he possessed… until now. "The man I raised never would have fallen for such… hokum. You used to be in control, Jack, but now… love has made you weak. And stupid."

The words stung – more than he could possibly know – but not as much as his betrayal. "Where is she? What did you do to her?" Jack insisted, every muscle in his body tensing as he tried not to think the worst. Whatever happened to her, she was alive; it seemed strange to him now, but he was sure that if she wasn't, he would _know_. "I swear to God, if you hurt her…" He left the threat unfinished, at a loss for how to intimidate him when he was little more than a ghost.

Christian chuckled, as if the mere thought of wanting to harm her were absurd. "Why would I hurt her when she's carrying my grandchild?" he asked, the inhuman smile that settled over his features sending a shiver down Jack's spine as he wondered if this was the reason for his sudden interest in Kate.

No matter who or what this creature standing in front of him had been, it wasn't his father: at least not the one that he'd known in life.

His father had always scared him, but only because winning his approval mattered to him more than anything else in the world.

"_Your_ grandchild?!" he repeated, losing patience with these games when every moment they wasted on riddles could be the one that Kate's time ran out. "I'm not letting you anywhere near him – or Aaron – if you don't tell me what the hell's going on!"

Christian cocked his head in confusion, seemingly taken back by the venom in his tone. "Relax, son, she's safe," he told him. "Resting comfortably, not far from here, but not for much longer if you continue to disobey my orders."

"Is that a threat?" Jack growled, wishing that he had a physical body so he could slam him up against a tree and force something less cryptic out of him.

"No, Jack – that's a promise," Christian assured him, and in that moment, he didn't know which was worse: the fear or the certainty. "Do you want her to die?"

All of the fight went out of him as he shook his head. "No, of course not," he agreed. He wasn't going to endanger her further by arguing; whatever his father's ghost wanted, he would give it to him if it meant getting her and the baby back safe.

"Then you need to do _exactly_ as I say…"

* * *

"_Hey, wait up!" Kate called as she picked her way through the dark jungle in Claire's wake._

_The younger woman seemed to move with almost supernatural speed, flitting in and out of the trees so far ahead of her that she only caught flashes of her now and then, assuring her that she was still headed along the right path._

_She didn't stop until they came to the edge of another clearing, where a small, wooden house sat on its own. There was no garden, no clothesline, no external hints that anyone lived there, but she was sure that they must, or else why had Claire brought her there?_

_If she was going to kill her, she could have done it as soon as they were away from Jack, and saved them both all this travel._

"_What is this place?" she asked when she finally reached her side, staring at it in awe, fighting back a wave of nausea as she struggled to catch her breath._

_She'd hiked all over the island with Jack and Sayid, but this was the first time that she'd seen anything like it, and she found herself wondering how she could have missed it before. She'd never even known it existed, but now, something told her that this could be the answer that she'd been looking for._

_A way to save her baby's life._

"_This," Claire repeated, turning to her with a satisfied grin that sent a cold shiver down Kate's spine. "Is the cabin…"_

* * *

Next chapter: Jack learns Kate (and the baby)'s fate... ;)


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks for the reviews... ;)

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Chapter 18.

"So're you gonna tell me where we're going?" Jack asked.

"Does it really matter?" Christian countered.

It wasn't the first time that he'd asked, but each time he was rewarded with a vague and non-committal answer.

"No, I guess not," he agreed. All that mattered now was finding Kate and the baby unharmed. If that took him to the ends of the earth – or some as yet unexplored corner of the island – then so be it.

"That's what I thought," Christian told him, the corners of his lips quirking with amusement as he regarded him sidelong, and Jack felt his fist clench in frustration at his forced dependence on him for information.

He decided to try a different tactic. "How much longer 'till we get there? 'Cause it feels like we've been walking in circles all night."

"Not far now," Christian assured him. "It's just through those trees."

Jack squinted into the seemingly endless darkness ahead, trying to see what he saw. "I don't understand what—"

But when he glanced back at him, his father's ghost had vanished. "Dad?"

He turned on the spot, using the flame of his torch to illuminate the surrounding trees, every muscle in his body tensing when he was forced to admit that he was now completely alone in the jungle. "_Dad_!"

He smacked his palm against the trunk of the nearest tree. Why would his father insist that he follow him, only to leave him out here?

He was worse off than when he started, now that he'd lost Kate and his child as well; he couldn't go home without her either, so the only other choice was to continue in the direction that Christian seemed to be pointing.

In the distance was a dilapidated log cabin, just like the one Locke had described.

As he stood there staring at it, trying to figure out if that was where his father was taking him before he disappeared, a flash of white light lit up the interior.

Almost at the same time, a scream rent the night air, followed by the sound of a newborn baby's cry; without thinking, he set off at a run towards it, grabbing at vines to keep from tripping down the steep ravine.

The windows had been blacked out – though with paint, or years of grime, he couldn't tell – making it impossible to see what was on the other side of the glass.

When he tried the handle, the door was locked, and a quick circuit of the premises proved that there was no other way in.

"Come on," he muttered, slamming his shoulder into the wood, wincing as a sharp pain shot down his arm. "Come on!" He pulled back to ram it again, wishing that it hadn't gone so quiet so he would at least know if Kate was alive.

Finally, it gave, swinging open with an ominous creak.

He realised then that his mind must have been playing tricks on him again, because the room that he stumbled into was dark and empty, showing no sign of Kate _or_ his father…

…Or Claire.

"Kate?" he called, searching the shadows for her, the floorboards groaning under his boots as he took a cautious step inside. "If you're here, answer me."

His words were met with more silence, and then, just as he was about to give up and go back outside, he heard a muffled moan coming from the corner farthest from the door.

He shone his torch around, stopping when the glow of the flame fell on a narrow wooden cot pushed against one wall.

On it, a figure lay motionless; he sucked in a sharp breath as he recognised the dark curls that spilled over the side.

"Kate?" he whispered, crouching beside her, placing a hand on the small of her back. Her freckled cheeks were so pale, her skin so cold, like marble, that for one heart stopping moment, he was afraid that he really was too late. "_Kate_."

She frowned at the sound of her name, shifting away from him, and he felt almost weak with relief as he realised that she was just sleeping.

"Come on, baby, wake up," he murmured, trying to rouse her, to no avail; he was contemplating scooping her up and carrying her out of there when she groaned, opening her beautiful grey green eyes.

"Jack?"

An involuntary smile broke out across his features as they lit up with recognition.

"Hey," he greeted her, cupping her jaw in his fingers, stroking a curl back from her temple with his thumb.

He didn't think he'd ever been as glad to see her as he was right then; he pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, grinning as he pulled back to look at her again.

"What happened?" she asked, blinking at him in confusion. She lifted her head, disoriented as she took in their surroundings. "Where are we?"

She didn't seem to remember how she got there; he wondered if his father was lying – or he'd imagined the whole encounter – and her nightmares had given way to sleepwalking.

"I don't know, but we need to get out of here," he told her, growing more uncomfortable with each moment they stayed there. Being in that cabin gave him a bad feeling: it was supposed to make her better, but if anything, she seemed worse.

"How's the—?" he checked, shooting a nervous glance down at her belly.

She followed his gaze, placing her palm against it as she struggled to sit up. "Fine, I think," she assured him with a tiny smile.

He relaxed on hearing that their son didn't appear to have been affected, but only slightly. "What about you?" he pressed, turning his attention back to her. "Are you okay? Can you stand?"

"Yeah," she agreed, nodding. "I think so."

"Good."

He helped her to her feet, keeping one arm around her waist to support her while she took her first shaky steps forward.

"What about Claire?" she asked, eyeing him with a guilty expression as they made their way to the door. "She was here."

She must have been dreaming again, he decided, because there was no one else there.

Either way, _she_ was his priority now. He needed to get her back to the boat, to Juliet. Then, once she was out of danger, he could come back on his own, or with Sayid.

"Don't w—" he began, until a third voice – one that he hadn't heard for almost three years – interrupted him.

"Yeah, what about me, Jack?"

He started, pushing Kate behind him while he swept the room with his torch.

A loud creak echoed through the cabin; he swung the light in the direction that he thought it had come from, the blood draining from his face when he saw Claire, lounging in an ancient chair, her hands folded across her lap, using one heel to rock back and forth.

"Or are you just gunna leave me here to rot – _again_ – while you play happy families with my son?" she continued, placing both feet back against the floor and gripping the arms as she leant forward to fix them with an accusing stare.

He felt Kate's hand grasp his bicep, while the other snaked around her middle in a protective gesture, her eyes wide with terror.

"It's okay," he told her, pulling her closer against his side. "I'm not gonna let her hurt you – or the baby."

He turned them around, intending to make good on his promise by retreating, but when he did, Christian was there, looking livid.

"You never did care about anyone but yourself, did you, Jack?" he said, and for the first time, Jack was aware of the resemble between them. "You and your little whore."

The walls were beginning to feel like they were closing in around him; he needed to get out, away from these ghosts, before they crushed him under the weight of his own guilt.

His father was right: he couldn't save everyone.

He had to protect what family he had left.

He tightened his grip on Kate's hand, pulling her past Christian, towards the door, but before they could reach it, a violent gust of wind caused it to slam shut, extinguishing his torch and plunging them into darkness.

When he tried the handle again, it was stuck; he rattled it a few times – so hard that he was afraid it would come loose – but it wouldn't budge.

They were trapped.

Kate was still at his side, clinging to him as though she would never let go, her fingernails digging into the back of his palm; he shuddered at the sound of another set of rhythmic footsteps falling against the floorboards behind them, crossing the cabin with painstaking slowness.

A moment later, a gas lamp flicked on in the middle of a rickety table, revealing a middle aged man with a dishevelled beard and dirty brown clothes that he was certain he'd never seen here on the island before.

"Who are you?" he asked, even though he thought he already knew the answer.

"_I_ am Jacob," the man told him, looking him over with a wolfish grin.

* * *

_Another_ clifthanger!? ;)

Next chapter: Jack and Kate find out why they were lured back to the island, and Jack strikes a bargain with Jacob to ensure the safety of his family... ;)


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks for the reviews... ;)

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Chapter 19.

"_You're_ Jacob?" Jack repeated, eyeing the man with a sceptical glance as he pulled up a chair and sat down. He looked so normal. So_…_ human.

Jacob chuckled, settling back with one arm resting along the edge of the table. "Who were you expecting, Jack? God?" he asked him, the corners of his lips quirking with obvious amusement.

He was making fun of him, Jack realised. The same way that his father's ghost had.

"I don't believe in God," he insisted with a stubborn frown, prompting a smirk from the other man.

"Of course not. You're master of your own fate – at least you were the last time you were here," he amended, his tone carrying an edge of scorn.

"But things haven't been going so well for you lately, have they, Jack? Dad's dead, sister's missing, and your girl—" His gaze travelled over to Kate, who stood frozen to the spot beside Jack, as though afraid of provoking him with sudden movement, his eyes lingering on the gentle rounding of her belly "—isn't looking too hot."

He turned back to Jack, his expression one of exaggerated sympathy. "In fact, one way or another, you're gonna be responsible for the deaths of almost everyone you care about," he pointed out with a thoughtful tilt of his head.

Jack wanted to tell him to go to hell, but something about his words rang true. If he hadn't driven his father back to the bottle by accusing him of sleeping with his wife… If he'd come back for Claire like he promised… If he'd just left things alone with Kate…

She squeezed his hand, as if to assure him that none of it was his fault, but he couldn't bring himself to squeeze back, staring straight ahead, at Jacob, when she tried to catch his eye.

"But what if I told you that it didn't have to be that way? That I could give you the chance to regain control of your own destiny?" Jacob continued in a silky tone that reminded him a little of Ben; just like with the leader of the Others, he knew that he was being manipulated, but it was hard not to be tempted when he was offering to take all of his problems away. "Claire would come back. Kate and the baby would be fine. You'd even get to see your father again."

"Then I'd say, 'What's the catch?'" Jack replied, earning himself a sharp look from Kate.

"What're you doing?" she hissed, without moving her lips, so low that he almost didn't catch it. "You can't be buying into this."

If Jacob heard her, he didn't acknowledge it.

To Jack's relief, he didn't seem interested in her. She was just leverage, means to an end: as long as Jack co-operated, there was no reason for him to harm her. He might even save her life.

"That's what I like about you, Jack – you're smart, unlike the others," he said. "Your willingness to question everything – including yourself – is what makes you exactly the kind of man I'm looking for."

Jack tried not to think too hard about what this could mean as Jacob climbed back to his feet, pacing alongside the table while he explained, "I need someone I can trust, not another shameless sycophant who's going to kiss my ass as long as it suits his agenda. A leader, not a follower."

He stopped, staring him directly in the eye, sending a slight shiver down Jack's spine. "You."

He _looked_ human, but he wasn't. He was something much more unnatural. Something ancient and powerful: not the kind of guy you wanted to piss off.

"What d'you mean, you 'need him'?" Kate pressed, a shrill edge creeping into her voice.

Jacob glanced over at her without really seeming to see her, as though he'd forgotten that she was even still there.

"Each time I leave this cabin, I find myself… _weakening_," he confessed. "I can never stay away for more than an hour at a time. I need someone to be my eyes and ears on this island – someone who's free to come and go as they please."

He shifted his attention to Jack. "That's why I brought you back."

His father's ghost had mentioned that he wasn't done, that he still had 'work' to do…

"You want me to stay here?" Jack finished for him, realising that Jacob must have sent him. He'd probably orchestrated Kate's nightmares too, to lure her here to the cabin. "For how long?"

They still had a little over four months until she gave birth: maybe he could go along with it until Jacob healed her and sent her home with the others, and still make it back to her in time…

"Indefinitely."

A sickening sense of despair washed over him at the finality of what he was being asked to do; when he glanced over at Kate, to see her reaction, she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What if I refuse?" he insisted. There had to be another way to save her: one that wouldn't come at the expense of everything that they'd worked so hard to rebuild.

"Then I'll find someone else to take your place," Jacob agreed, and he almost cried out with relief, until he supplied, a wicked gleam in his eyes, "Aaron. Or your son. They say leadership traits are genetic – consider it an experiment."

"You think we're just gonna _give_ him to you – either of them?" Kate cried, erupting, lunging at him across the table. "You are not gonna _touch_ my sons!"

"_Kate_!" he pleaded, diving after her. He managed to pull her down from the chair before she succeeded in hurting him – or herself –, keeping one arm around her waist to restrain her while she flailed and kicked, struggling against him with strength that neither of them had known she still possessed.

The only way they were going to win this was with reason, so he forced himself to block out the wounded look that she shot him when she realised that he wasn't going to let her take out whatever vengeance she had in mind.

The effort seemed to use up most of the energy that she'd recovered while she was asleep; after a moment, she went limp in his arms, and confident that she wasn't going to do anything else to jeopardise the deal he was making on her behalf, he allowed her to sink into the chair in front of him.

"You're gonna have to cure her first – otherwise he's no good to you," he countered, hoping that he would agree.

"Oh, I have ways of keeping her alive," Jacob assured them with what was almost a gleeful smile.

He glanced over at Kate and she blanched, becoming even paler than she was when he found her. "Her body, at least."

Jack shuddered. He couldn't let that happen to her.

"Of course I'd have to kill her once she served her purpose," Jacob continued in the same conversational tone. "I can't have her interfering in my plans for the child after he's born."

"You bastard," Jack growled, and for a moment, he considered finishing what she'd started. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand there talking to him when he wanted nothing more than to tear him apart with his bear hands. But he wasn't even sure that it was possible: something told him that it would take more than that to destroy him.

"So what's it gonna be, Jack? Are you gonna take your chances out there in the jungle, knowing that both of them could be dead before you even reach that boat? Or sign your firstborn over to me to save your own ass?"

Jacob smiled, and Jack knew that _he_ knew that he had him. He couldn't do either of those things.

"Or, will you take me up on my offer, in which case, not only will I let them – and your sister – go free, but I'll fix her as well. They'll all be healthy and safe, and above all, _alive_ – you just won't be there to see it."

He made it sound like a choice, but in reality, the choice had already been made for him.

"You win," he agreed, holding his hands up in defeat. He couldn't live with any more deaths on his hands, _especially_ Kate's. That's what Jacob was counting on.

Kate's mouth fell open in shock, her eyes filling up with tears. "No, Jack – you can't!" she protested. She turned to Jacob. "He doesn't mean that!"

He wished she could see that he was doing it for her, so that she and their child could have the life that they deserved.

It was the first – and last – thing that he'd done right as a father.

"I'll stay," he continued as if she hadn't interrupted, the sound of her broken sobs wrenching his heart. He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't afford to lose it too. "But I have to be sure that you'll hold up your end of the bargain."

Jacob nodded. "Of course," he said with a smile, gesturing to a rusted antique key on the table beside the lamp.

He inclined his head, and for the first time, Jack noticed the outline of a second door on wall adjacent to the one that he'd come in. "I think you'll find that I was telling the truth about Claire – all you have to do is open it."

Following his instructions, Jack picked up the key and moved over to it, surprised at how easily it turned in the lock.

Inside was a bedroom; he was shocked when, in the dim light spilling in from the other room, he made out the silhouettes of not one, but _two_, figures huddled on a cot beneath the blackened window.

A second later, the larger of the two straightened, seeming to squint back at him. "Jack?"

It was a voice that he would have known anywhere, even without seeing the face that it belonged to. "_Dad_?"

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Next chapter: Jack is reunited with Christian (the real one) and says goodbye to his family... ;)


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for the reviews. ;)

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Chapter 20.

A smile that was part joy, part relief broke over Christian's features as he shifted Claire's head from his lap and climbed off the cot.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he told Jack, rushing towards him, holding him at arm's length for a moment to look at him before pulling him into the warmest embrace that he'd ever received from him. "Your or your mother."

"How is this even possible?" Jack asked, struggling to regain control of his emotions as he released him. His clothes weren't the same ones that he'd buried him in, but somehow he knew that _this_ was his father: alive and unafflicted by whatever had cut his life short in Australia. "I went to the morgue – I _saw_ your body." It was the second time that he'd seen a corpse rise from the dead since returning to the island and part of him still questioned his sanity.

"I don't know," his father agreed. "The last thing I remember is being in a bar in Sydney, then I woke up here, in this cabin."

Jack was still trying to make sense of his father's story when Claire – a picture of innocence now compared to the monster that had haunted Kate's dreams – stirred, blinking her brilliant blue eyes at them with a drowsy expression that reminded him of Aaron after his nap. "Jack?"

She started upright as his presence seemed to trigger a memory that lay dormant in the back of her mind. "Oh my God – Aaron!" she cried, an edge of hysteria in her tone as she confessed, "I left him in the jungle."

She didn't seem to have any idea how much time had passed since that night, looking like she might burst into tears as the magnitude of what she'd done began to sink in. "We have to find him!" she insisted, scrambling to her feet.

"It's okay, Claire – he's safe," Jack assured her, deciding against burdening her with this information just yet. He wanted her – and Kate – as far away as possible before she melted down. "He's with Sawyer, on the boat."

She relaxed on receiving confirmation that her actions hadn't caused any lasting damage, even giving Jack a tiny, grateful smile, and he couldn't help feeling guilty for keeping the truth from her, but now was definitely not the time to get into it.

"You two know each other?" his father – _their_ father – asked, looking wary and more than a little incredulous as he watched this exchange.

"We were on the same plane," Jack agreed. He shot him a meaningful look so that he would know the significance hadn't been lost on him. "How's that for a coincidence?"

Claire's brows knitted together in confusion, still waking up, as she glanced from one to the other. "What's going on?" she insisted, fixing their father with an expectant frown as she waited for someone to give her an explanation. "Dad?"

While he'd had almost three years to get used to the idea, it still rattled Jack to hear someone else – especially her – call him that.

Their father let out an almost imperceptible sigh. "Jack is my son – the one I told you about," he confessed.

Claire's eyes widened in astonishment as she turned to stare at him like she hadn't seen him hundreds of times before. "_You're_ that Jack?" she repeated. A dark shadow passed over her features, as though she couldn't decide whether she wanted to be happy at being reintroduced to her brother, or resentful of the man who had stolen her father away from her.

He wasn't sure how to react to her either; Jacob saved him from having to come up with a response when he appeared in the doorway behind them. "I hate to break up this touching family reunion," he said in a voice that oozed insincerity, ignoring the others as he spoke directly to Jack, "but it's time you and I got started."

It was the moment that he'd been dreading, the moment when he stopped being Jack Shephard and became… something else. He nodded, swallowing hard. "Can I have a minute?"

He could see that Jacob wasn't happy about it, but he relented, though his expression remained unmoved. "If that's what you need to put them behind you," he agreed.

Jack wasn't about to give him the chance to change his mind; leaving his father and Claire, he headed back into the other room where Kate had composed herself, and was wearing a path in the floorboards while she waited to for someone to fill her in on what was happening.

"Hey," he said, not sure where to begin as he walked over to her.

She stopped at the sound of his voice, and when she turned to look at him, her eyes were red and swollen, doing nothing to mask the pain bubbling beneath the surface. "Don't do this," she pleaded.

It broke his heart to know that despite all of his promises – to her, and himself – he was doing exactly what he'd sworn never to do again.

He was hurting her, and this time, he wouldn't be able to fix it.

"I have to," he told her, letting his palm fall against her belly in the way that had become almost second nature to him over the past few days. The baby gave a slight jolt and was still again, and with a pang, he wondered if he would ever get to experience a full-blown kick. How could he ache this much for someone that he'd never met? Someone whose existence he hadn't even been aware of a week ago? "I can't let you die."

She glanced down at his hand, her jaw trembling as she whispered, "I can't do this alone."

He tilted her chin up with his thumb to get her to look at him. "You've done it before," he reminded her. "And you won't be alone this time – you'll have Sawyer, and Juliet… and Claire."

She shook her head. "I don't want to," she insisted, squeezing her eyes shut as her expression crumpled. "Not without you."

"This isn't forever," he told her, his own voice wobbling as he tried to sound confident of this fact. "As soon as I can, I'll find you."

Her mouth moved, but she couldn't speak, so he pulled her into his arms and she clung to him with such force that he could feel the curve of her belly pushing into his.

He kissed her hair, resting his cheek against it, struggling to hold back his own tears as she sobbed into his shoulder. "Take care of him, okay?" he murmured, cupping her face in his hands and placing a lingering kiss against her lips as he added, "I love you."

He forced himself to let go of her, drinking her in one last time: the soft waves of her hair – hair that he'd spent countless hours running his fingers through while they lay on the couch or in bed – the adorable way her nose turned up at the end, the exact shade of her eyes… before turning to see if the others were ready.

At some point during their goodbye, his father and Claire had come out to join them. "It was good to see you again, Dad," he told him, putting on a brave face as he held out his hand.

His father looked surprised as he accepted; he didn't shake it, letting it hang limply with his in the space between them as he asked, "You're not leaving with us?"

"Jack and I have an arrangement," Jacob announced, coming over to them, and Jack's stomach clenched with apprehension as he realised that his time was up. He wasn't going to wait any longer. "He works for me now."

His father's expression was unreadable as he shifted his piercing blue eyes from Jacob, back to Jack, staring at him for so long that it made him uncomfortable.

"There's something you ought to know about my son, because you seem to have gotten the wrong impression about him," he said finally, tearing them from Jack so that he could give Jacob his full attention. "He's not the man you think he is – in fact, from the day he was born, Jack has been nothing but a source of constant disappointment to me."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Kate tense with indignation on his behalf, but as the smile slid from his face, he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but a kind of sickening resignation at hearing his deepest fear voiced aloud.

As far as his father was concerned, he was a failure: as a son, as a doctor, and as a man; this knowledge alone was enough to cripple him, but he wasn't about to leave it there.

"I tried to raise him to be strong," his father continued, and if his mind wasn't reeling, Jack would have demanded to know what he was doing, making Jacob doubt him like this, "but he is sloppy and emotional and incapable of making the kind of hard decisions that men like you and I understand are for the greater good. He will fight you at every turn, and, if you give him the chance, he _will_ betray you, like he betrayed me."

So that was it. He still hadn't forgive him.

"He betrayed you?" Jacob repeated, studying Jack with a frown that told him he still wasn't convinced.

"I made a mistake and he crucified me for it," his father confirmed, twisting the knife deeper still, and Jack flinched at how callous it sounded, like it had been easy for him to rat him out to the board, knowing that it would come at such a high personal cost. Their relationship had never been the same after that, but he thought now that his father's "death" had put things it into perspective, he might at least be able to let all that go. "Because of him, I will never work as a surgeon again. He took everything from me – my reputation, my career, and eventually, even my _life_."

He glanced over at Jack, and Jack shuddered at how withering his expression had become, staring down at the floorboards to avoid making eye contact with him.

Until that moment, he'd never really believed that his father could actually _hate_ him.

"Now tell me, are those really the kind of hands you want to put your empire into?" he finished, disgust evident in his tone, and Jack couldn't have felt worse than if he'd sucker punched him: in fact, he would have preferred it.

He couldn't look at Kate, or Claire, afraid of seeing their confusion, and discovering that some small part of them had begun to question their choice of leader too. He hadn't been able to handle it, had he? Kate knew that better than anyone, because she was there when it all fell apart.

Jacob cocked his head to the side as he considered this. "No, I guess not," he agreed. "So what do you suggest?"

When Jack snuck a glanced at his father, he thought he saw a hint of a smile, but it was gone the moment it appeared, and he wondered if he'd imagined it. "My life back home is ruined, but here… I can start over, be anybody I want to be," he said. "Let me take his place and you'll see that you made the right choice."

Throughout Jack's life, his father had made it clear that no matter what he achieved, he'd done it first, and better, so he wasn't at all surprised that he would nominate himself as his replacement. Why send a boy to do a man's job? That had always been his motto.

"Okay," Jacob conceded with a vigorous nod, as though realising the wisdom behind this proposition.

This time when he spoke to Jack, it was without any of the respect of their previous conversation. "As for you, you're free to go – now get out before I change my mind."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack reminds Jacob of his promise to fix Kate, and he, Kate and Claire begin the trek back to the beach...


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for the reviews and Happy Lost Day everyone. Since you guys were so amazing last time, I wanted to get at least one more chapter up before the premiere. I'm still not sure we're going to get much Jate in the first hour(s) with all the mythology stuff they have to cover, but anyone who doesn't mind being spoiled, there's a behind the scenes video on DarkUFO that you might enjoy. ;)

* * *

Chapter 21.

"What about Kate?" Jack insisted. He wasn't leaving until Jacob made good on his promises.

"What about her?" Jacob asked in a tone that implied he had no real interest in hearing the answer. "You can take her – and Claire – with you."

Jack couldn't believe that he'd forgotten already. "You said you were gonna fix her," he reminded him. It was one of the only reasons he'd been prepared to go along with his request: that and the potential threat he posed to his family.

"That was before, when I thought I needed you," Jacob confessed without any outward sign of remorse.

Jack watched Kate's face fall. He couldn't do this to him, not now, not when he was going to stay for them. He shook his head. "No. We had a deal. You were the one who reneged."

Jacob laughed, a harsh, grating sound devoid of any humour.

It didn't Jack long to realise that it was at his expense.

"If I could control it, do you think all those other women would have died?" he asked, and Jack felt sick to his stomach as it hit him that he'd been played, like the desperate man that he was.

How could he have been so naïve as to believe that Jacob would actually help them when he was only out for himself? He didn't even have that much power.

"It's a symptom of the island," he explained. "You were right the first time, Jack – the only way you can save her is by getting her as far away from it as you can."

He smirked as he glanced over at Kate. She was still deathly pale, her hand braced against the top of the nearest chair, too weak to feel confident standing for long periods without support. "Of course it may already be too late for that."

Jack wanted to kill him for being so cavalier about her death – to show him how it felt to have his heart ripped out – but he didn't even know where to begin. There was nothing he could do that would cause him even a fraction of the pain that he was experiencing; he had to get out of there, so he stormed out of the cabin, into the early morning light.

As the door slammed shut behind him, Jacob's voice wafted after him. "I see what you mean now – all he cares about is that girl."

That wasn't the only thing his father had said about him that was true: he _was_ a disappointment. He was supposed to be a hero, but he couldn't even save his own family: he'd as good as signed Kate's death warrant the moment he made the choice to keep searching for the cabin, instead of taking her back to the beach. Claire was safe now because of it, but she wouldn't thank him in the long run when she found out that he'd helped Kate claim her son.

"Jack! _Jack_!"

He didn't realise that Kate had followed him outside until he caught sight of her – a blue, white and green blur – out of the corner of his eye.

"Are you trying to kill me?" she quipped, making him cringe at how close this was to his thoughts, the words coming out in painful gasps as she jogged up the hill. "Because if you walk that fast the whole way I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep up."

She was only trying to keep him from dwelling on everything that had just happened in there. It was himself that he was mad at – for getting her into this mess and not being about to fix it – but he was like a wounded animal: he couldn't help lashing out at her.

She deserved better than this, than him.

"Why did you forgive me, Kate?" he insisted, rounding on her, an accusing note creeping into his tone. She should have stood her ground, instead of inviting him back into her life.

She looked taken aback by his sudden anger. "Because you showed me you could still be the man I fell in love with – someone we could be proud of," she told him.

He clenched his jaw at her inclusion of their son, shaking his head to show her that this wasn't what he'd meant. "_Before_, at the motel. I should never've let it happen." If he hadn't pushed the issue… If he'd just listened when she said it was a bad idea…

"I was there too, you know, Jack, and I didn't exactly try to put a stop to it either, so don't go blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault," she argued, her voice rising in defiance as she added, "_I_ was the one who chose to come back here."

But he'd sunk too deep into that familiar rut to stop now. It would be easier if she hated him: maybe then she'd stop trying to mould him back into something that he wasn't even sure he'd been to begin with. "You heard what my father said – I'm a screw up. I screwed up his life and everyone else on this island's – including yours. Our kid isn't even born yet and I've already screwed up his."

She threw her hands up in exasperation, fixing him with a furious glare, and for a moment, he wondered if he'd gone too far. "Oh, no, you are _not_ doing this to me again," she complained. "The pity party's over, Jack – it's time you stopped worrying about him, and started thinking about what kind of father _you_ wanna be."

Somewhere in his rational mind, he knew that she'd raised a good point, but he was too ashamed of his behaviour to admit it just yet, so seeing that they were alone, he seized the opportunity to change the subject. "Where's Claire?"

She glanced around them, her brow furrowing when she seemed to have disappeared. "I don't know – she was right behind me."

"Jack!"

He turned when he heard her voice to see her coming towards them with Christian. "If you're here to tell me your forgot something—" he began to mask his surprise, forcing himself not to look away when he tried to catch his eye, but he was interrupted before he was able to think of a cutting remark.

"We're going to have to be quick – I told Jacob I'd make sure you were gone – but I couldn't leave things like that," his father confessed, sounding softer, and older again, a far cry from whatever had possessed him in the cabin.

He hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts, then rushed on, the words clumsy and awkward coming from the mouth of a man who wasn't used to giving compliments, "I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you, Jack, were never one of them. I must have done something right, because you are brave and compassionate and one of the most dedicated surgeons I've ever had the pleasure of working with."

It was the exact opposite of what he'd just told Jacob, but his discomfit convinced Jack that he must really mean it this time. He was allowing himself to be vulnerable, something that he'd always gone out of his way to avoid when he was alive.

"I know I wasn't always the best father, but I couldn't have asked for a better son. That's why I wanted to do this one thing for you. You deserve to be happy. I wish I'd let you know that sooner."

Jack was so choked up that he couldn't speak so he hugged his father instead; when he snuck a glance at Kate over his shoulder, he saw that she, too, had tears in her eyes.

"I love you, Dad," he whispered, as much for himself as for his father. It was something that he'd always regretted, back when he thought it was too late: the fact that he'd always been too afraid to tell him, convinced that he would see it as a sign of weakness and resent him for it.

His father smiled as he pulled back, becoming his usual composed self. "Now who is this lovely young lady?" he asked, shifting his focus to Kate.

Before tonight, Jack had never believed that he would see the two of them in one place. "This is Kate," he told him, "my…"

He trailed off, unsure of how to introduce her when they still hadn't discussed the status of their relationship. _Girlfriend_ sounded so casual; just the mother of his unborn child even worse when she was so much more to him that either of those things…

"…fiancée," she supplied without skipping a beat, beaming up at him, her smile hopeful as she slid her arms around his waist.

He couldn't help but smile back at her as he returned the gesture. How could she still want to marry him after everything that he'd put her though since he asked her? He'd gotten so used to her running that part of him still expected it.

His father looked surprised but pleased. "Well congratulations," he said, clapping Jack on the shoulder. "I knew it wouldn't take you long."

"I lost my ring in the jungle," Kate explained with a sheepish grin when his eyes went to her left hand, resting over Jack's stomach, and at that moment, Jack made up his mind to replace it for her as soon as they got home.

A new ring for a new beginning.

Of course that was assuming that she survived that long.

"You'll have to forgive me when I say I won't be able to make it to the wedding – it appears I'll be out of town that day," his father teased them, trying to make a joke out of it, but Jack couldn't help feeling sad when he thought of all the things he was going to miss.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Kate," his father said to break the uncomfortable silence that descended over their circle, holding his hand out to her.

She nodded, forcing a watery smile as she accepted it, squeezing Jack's side with the other in a way that made him tear up again.

His father turned to Claire – who had been quiet, standing a few steps off to one side, throughout this exchange – next. "And you, kiddo – I'm glad we got to spend this time together," he told her. He tucked a strand of pale hair back behind her ear, wiping a smudge of dirt from her face.

"I just wish I could have met that little boy of yours," he added, and Jack had to suppress the stab of guilt that he felt whenever anyone mentioned Aaron.

She pushed herself up onto her toes so that she could throw her arms around his neck. "Me too, Dad," she agreed, pecking his cheek. She sniffled as she let go.

"I guess I should be getting back," he said when he released her.

He started for the cabin without another word, his shoulders stiff with determination.

Jack couldn't bear the thought of him never knowing. It was bad enough that he wouldn't be there. "Dad!" he called after him, grateful when he paused long enough to listen to what he had to say.

"I'm gonna have a son too – Kate's pregnant," he told him.

His father's face split into a broad grin on hearing these words. "Then do me a favour and remember what I said – go easy on the boy," he advised him, his smile becoming almost wistful as he added, "Don't make the same mistake I did."

And then, he was gone.

* * *

I know, I didn't mention Christian in my note last time: I wanted to see what you'd make of his sacrifice before I gave it away! But of course I had no intention of leaving it like that, with Jack convinced that every bad thing he ever believed his father thought about him was true! :(

Next chapter: A very confused Claire questions Jack and Kate about the changes in their relationship... ;)


	22. Chapter 22

Thanks for the reviews. This will probably end about chapter 25... ;)

* * *

Chapter 22.

"Just one more mile and then we'll take another break," Jack promised. He was anxious to get back to the beach and he knew that Claire was too, but the hike seemed to be taking its toll on Kate. But as painful as it was to watch her struggle, it hurt him even more to think about what would happen if he allowed her to give in. "Do you think you can manage that?"

Her breathing was becoming more laboured by the hour, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out on her forehead as she fought to keep from losing her forward momentum.

He pressed his lips to her temple when she nodded, pulling back to murmur against her ear, "Now _there's_ the stubborn woman I fell in love with."

She cracked a tiny smile for him.

"What's wrong with her?" Claire piped up from behind them.

When Jack glanced back over his shoulder at her, her eyes were wide with panic, and it was only then that he was able to step back and take stock of how awful Kate looked. "She's pregnant," he reminded her, realising that she must have been too distracted to make the connection between what he'd told their father and what was happening to Kate now. "Her body is… rejecting the foetus, just like the other women."

This only seemed to confuse Claire further. "Does Sawyer…? I mean he—"

"Baby's not his," Kate gasped, flashing Jack another small smile, but this time, it was edged with joy.

He hated that she was still so happy about it… even if it killed her.

"So it's true? You guys are together now?" Claire asked, still trying to make sense of everything that she'd missed.

"Yeah," he agreed, but he couldn't stop his stomach from tightening at the thought that it wouldn't be for much longer if her condition didn't improve.

"Huh. I guess a lot must've happened while I was at the barracks," she mused, smirking as she added, "Is that why you told Dad you were getting married?"

Jack exchanged a look with Kate. She was going to have to find out the truth some time. It was probably better that they fill her in now so that she could come to terms with it before seeing Aaron.

He could hear a stream rushing past on the other side of the trees. "Maybe we _should_ take a break," he suggested, shooting Kate a meaningful glance.

As soon as he slid his arm out from around her waist, she sank onto one of the rocks, doubling over with her head between her knees.

He watched her kick a hole in the dirt with the heel of her boot, just in time to be sick, smoothing it back into place when she was done.

"You okay?" he asked, crouching beside her, rubbing between her shoulder blades.

"I think so," she agreed, straightening after a moment. She forced a smile for him. "I just need to sit for a while."

He set her pack down on the ground in front of her. He'd thought that carrying it for her would help her preserve her strength, but it didn't seem to have made much difference. She was getting weaker. He didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep going.

He took his water bottle out of his own backpack and refilled it, offering it first to her, then to his sister.

"Claire," he began, choosing each word carefully as he waited for her to swallow. "How long do you think you were in the cabin?"

"I don't know," she confessed. "A few days, maybe a week…" She frowned at the memory. "It was weird – it was like the whole time I was there, I _wanted_ to be there. Nothing else mattered, not even Aaron."

He felt another stab of guilt as she stared down at the bottle in her hands. She wasn't herself when she'd wandered off and abandoned him in the jungle: how was she going to react to the news that that one mistake had cost her more than two years of her son's life?

"There's no easy way to do this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it," he told her.

"_Ok-ay_," she agreed with a wary laugh. "Shoot."

Her look convinced him that she thought he was just being dramatic. "It wasn't a week, Claire," he admitted. "I wish it was."

His words wiped the smile right off of her face. "How long _was_ I there?" she asked, narrowing her eyes, a defensive edge creeping into her tone.

"You were missing for almost three years," he finished.

She shook her head, her expression twisting into one of fury. "No," she insisted. "You're lying."

He could see that she was trying hard not to believe him. "Why would I lie about something like that?" he asked her, struggling to keep the hurt from his face.

"It's true, Claire," Kate agreed in a tired voice, wiping her neck down with a wet cloth. She set it on the rock beside her, lifting the hem of her t-shirt to reveal the bump that wasn't there the last time they saw each other. "How else do you explain this? I'm almost seventeen weeks pregnant – that's why I'm sick."

"So it's been a couple of months!" Claire argued, jumping to her feet.

The look Kate gave her was one of resignation as she took a small square of paper from the front pocket of her backpack and handed it to her.

Jack didn't need to see it to know that it was a picture of the child she now called her son. He remembered the day that it was taken. It was one of the last times the three of them were together as a family.

Claire's hands were shaking as she sat back down to examine it. "Who's the little boy?" she asked, tracing his outline with one quivering finger.

"That's Aaron," Kate told her with an awkward smile. She leant over to admire it with an expression that was equal parts affectionate and wistful and Jack had no doubt that she missed him just as much as his real mother, if not more. "He's two there."

"No," Claire whispered, shaking her head again, but this time, tears sprang to her eyes. "He can't be."

"I'm sorry, Claire," Jack told her, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"We both are," Kate added, so low that he had to strain to hear her; when he glanced up at her he could see the shame in her eyes, because as bad as she felt for Claire, she couldn't regret the life that she'd shared with Aaron.

"I guess this means you got off the island," Claire said in a flat tone, still staring at the picture.

"Some of us," Jack agreed.

"So who's been looking after him?"

Kate shot Jack a nervous glance. "We both have," she told her, biting her lip, as though waiting for Claire to lash out at her like she had in her dreams.

But Claire just nodded, swallowing hard to keep from bursting into tears. "That's good. I'm glad he was with family," she answered. She studied the image of her son again. "He looks happy."

Jack wished that he knew how to make it easier for her – for all of them – but there was nothing he could say that would make up for all the time that she'd lost.

"We should keep moving," he told her with as much gentleness as he could. The sooner they were safe, the sooner they could discuss this in detail and decide what they were going to do.

He shoved the bottle back into his pack and stood, followed by Claire, but Kate remained rooted to the spot.

"I don't think I can," she insisted, slumping back against a nearby tree. The stubbornness that she'd been relying on before seemed to have left her, or maybe she was channelling it into a new objective now.

"Come on, I'll help you," he told her. He reached for her hand, trying to pull her up.

"No… _Jack_…" she complained, using her weight against him so that he had to let go for fear of hurting her. "I'm so tired. I can't walk any more. Let's just make camp."

She was right, she needed rest, but they couldn't afford to wait until she was ready, not when she was already so lethargic. "I know, honey, but you heard what he said. We can't stay here," he reminded her. He brushed a sweaty curl back from her cheek, dismayed at how hot it was. She was burning up. "You can sleep all you want when we get back to the boat, but right now, we need to go."

She looked liked she was thinking about lying down; before she could get too comfortable, he threw his pack back over his shoulders and picked her up bridal style. "How's this?" he asked, shifting her until she was settled more comfortably against his chest. She was heavier now than he'd anticipated, and he was afraid that it wouldn't be long before he had to stop too. "This way you can relax and leave the walking to me."

"You gonna carry me the whole way, Jack?" she teased him as though sensing his thoughts, but she smiled, thanking him with a light kiss as she secured her arms around his neck.

"Just until you're feeling better," he lied.

Claire was hovering a few feet away, still in shock, he guessed. "What can I do?" she asked.

"You can get Kate's backpack for me," he told her. It wasn't heavy, but he was weighed down enough as it was.

"Sure," she agreed, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Thanks."

She led the way back to the path, and they continued their journey, but they hadn't made much progress when the muscles supporting Kate's head went lax and it lolled against Jack's shoulder.

"I know it's hard, but I need you to stay awake, okay?" he told her, alarmed by her sudden drowsiness. He knew, from reading Juliet's notes, that the other women had slipped into comas in the days leading up to their deaths: if she fell asleep now, while they were still on the island, she might never wake up.

"Okay," she agreed with an obedient nod, but the next time he checked, her eyes had closed.

"Kate!"

"What?" she mumbled, blinking up at him with an irritable frown and he relaxed.

"Talk to me," he insisted when he saw how much trouble she was having staying focused on him. _Please_. "Tell me… tell me some of the names on your list." Maybe thinking about their son would give her a reason to hold on.

"I don't have a list," she complained, her voice slurred as she burrowed back into his shoulder. "I was gonna wait for you."

It was yet another example of how unprepared they were; they should have all of those things by now: names and a nursery and some plan for how they were going to raise him.

"Well let's make one," he suggested. All he had to do was keep her alert. "What d'you think of…" He grasped at the first name that came to mind "…William? Or Noah?"

"Jack…" she murmured, loosening her grip on him, forcing him to compensate by taking more of her weight.

"_Or_ we could call him Jack, I guess," he teased her with a wry smile.

Her arm went limp, sliding down his back, the other drooping at her side; he realised that Claire was staring at them, her face almost as pale as Kate's.

"Is she…?"

Her skin was still warm, but she was unconscious; he tilted her head up so that he could press his ear to her lips, relieved when he felt the air escape against it as she exhaled. "She's breathing," he assured her. _Barely_.

The pulse he managed to locate was steady but weak. He called her name again; lowering her to the jungle floor, he patted her cheeks, shook her shoulders, splashed her with the water Claire offered him, but nothing he tried seemed to revive her this time.

She was in bad shape. "We need to get her to Juliet," he announced. She would have a better idea of what to do until they were clear of the island.

He scooped Kate back into his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder as he calculated the quickest route back to the beach. If they hurried, they could be there by morning. He just hoped that by then, it wouldn't be too late…

* * *

Next chapter: What happens when Jack, Kate and Claire arrive at the boat? ;)


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks for the reviews. Only two more chapters to go after this one. On a different note, is everyone else as excited for an off-island Jate mission as I am?! ;)

* * *

Chapter 23.

By the time Jack and Claire arrived at the beach, the sun was on the horizon, where the ship loomed, a lone beacon of hope.

Kate was still comatose; it was hours since she'd moved or spoken, driving him to make the two-day trek in half that time.

"There's a flare in my pack – I need you to release it," Jack told Claire, wiping the sweat from his brow with his wrist as he stopped to catch his breath. His body was screaming for him to rest, but he couldn't relax until he knew that Kate was safe.

Claire did as he instructed, holding the device at arm's length as she ignited it in a blaze of red light.

A few moments later, a smaller boat came into view, Sawyer at the helm.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded when he saw Kate, leaping into the surf with a splash. His gaze passed over Claire with noticeable shock before he fixed Jack with an accusatory glare.

"Her brain is shutting down," Jack explained in a clinical tone devoid of any emotion. He couldn't allow himself to feel it: not yet.

"She's _dying_, Sawyer," he added when the southerner narrowed his eyes in confusion.

Jack still hadn't gotten over his hurt at the fact that she'd chosen to confide in Sawyer first, while he – the _actual_ father – remained in the dark; he found himself deriving an unfair amount of satisfaction from the pain that flickered over his face.

"No, she ain't," Sawyer insisted in a quiet voice, as though he knew something that Jack didn't.

"Are you a doctor?" Jack snapped as he struggled to climb aboard without relinquishing his hold on Kate.

Sawyer seemed to decide that it was better to let this slide, stepping forward to take her from him instead. "Why don't you let me—?"

But Jack shook his head, pulling her tighter against him. He had to keep her close, in case she needed him. "Just get us back to the ship," he insisted when he finally managed to settle himself on the bench with her draped across his lap.

He could tell from his expression that Sawyer was taken aback. "Alrighty, then," he agreed, after a brief pause. He redirected his attention to Claire, flashing her a tight smile as he helped her in beside them. "Good to see you again, Blondie."

Their return was met with excited shouts as Claire clambered up the ladder onto the deck, but they died out when Jack followed with Kate – still limp, like an oversized rag doll – in his arms.

Sun covered her mouth, looking aghast. Hurley froze midway through a game of hide and seek. Even Sayid was visibly shaken by her death-like appearance.

Juliet was the first to recover, rushing over to meet them. "How long has she been like this?" she asked, catching Kate's wrist, feeling for a pulse, as she fell into step beside Jack.

"Since yesterday," he told her.

"That's good," she agreed. "It means we still have some time."

He didn't ask until what. He didn't want to think about it.

He noticed then that Sawyer was trailing after them as though waiting for someone to give him instructions. "You wanna do something for her? Tell the captain to get us the hell off this island!" Jack ordered.

He didn't need to be told; he took off towards the control room at a sprint.

Hearing the commotion, Aaron crawled out from his hiding place behind a wooden crate. "Mommy!" he cried, scurrying past Claire, his expression crumpling as he seemed to pick up on the fact that something was very wrong with Kate.

"Mommy, _wake up_!" he insisted, his lower lip trembling as he gave her arm a violent tug.

All eyes turned to Claire. She was staring at the little boy as if he were a ghost; Jack wondered which was more shocking to her: discovering that what he'd told her was the truth, or hearing her son refer to another woman in this way.

"It's okay, Aaron," she told him, hesitating before reaching for his hand, enclosing it in hers. "Jack's gunna make Kate—" She swallowed, licking her lips when he eyed her with a suspicious look, as though trying to figure out if she was someone he should listen to "—_Mummy_… all better."

Jack cringed when this seemed to placate him, wishing that she hadn't said that.

"Jack made me better when I was sick," he heard him tell her as he continued below deck.

He took Kate down to her cabin, laying her out on her bunk while Juliet set to work performing a series of tests on her.

"No reaction to light stimulus," she muttered to herself as she lifted Kate's eyelid, shining the beam of a small torch, like the one he used to carry, onto her retina.

She repeated the procedure on the other. "Again – no pupillary response," she announced as she let it fall shut.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she told him, switching the torch off. "This is exactly what happened to the others."

She regarded him with a sympathetic look as she straightened. "All we can do now is monitor her condition and try to keep her comfortable until we can get her to a hospital."

She was trying to sound optimistic, but he could see that she wasn't holding out for a miracle; while he hadn't expected her to tell him anything different, her words still managed to devastate him.

"Jacob said it was the island that's making her sick," he confessed, shifting a pile of Aaron's toys so that he could drop into the chair between bunks.

She'd spent the last six years of her life trying to understand why her patients kept dying; she deserved to know that it had nothing to do with her or her research.

Her eyes widened with surprise. "You saw Jacob?" she asked, sucking in a sharp breath.

For a moment, all he could do was nod. "He was full of it," he agreed with a bitter laugh. He still couldn't believe how close he'd come to signing his life over to him. It was _his_ fault that his father was still there, repaying his debt. "He said he could fix her, but he… he wasn't a god. I don't know _what_ he was."

* * *

He spent the rest of the day shut up in the cabin, tending to Kate: giving her water and a saline solution Juliet had mixed up to keep her and the baby from becoming malnourished; adding and removing clothing and blankets and cold compresses to regulate her body temperature; listening out for every painful hitch in her breath…

At least once an hour, when she returned to see how Kate was doing, Juliet offered to relieve him so that he could get some sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her for that long.

Some time around early evening, he heard a knock at the door; realising that if it was her, she would come straight in, he opened it to find Claire standing in the hall outside, Aaron in tow.

"I promised I'd bring him to see her," she told Jack by way of explanation, dropping her son's hand, twisting hers in a nervous gesture as her eyes darted to Kate.

"It was the only way I could get him to stop crying," she confessed when he moved aside to let them in.

"Hi, Mommy," Aaron said, approaching Kate's still form with a cautious expression. Now that she was in bed, she just looked like she was asleep. This seemed to reassure him; he climbed onto the bunk, jamming himself into the space between her and the wall. "I missed you."

He put his face close to her belly. "Hi, Baby," he whispered, cuddling up to her, resting his cheek against it.

For the first time in almost a day, Jack found himself smiling. He hadn't even known that Kate told him.

"Hurley explained to me, about the lie," Claire confessed in a soft voice, drawing his attention back to her as she perched on the edge of Aaron's bunk.

Jack turned to look at her, startled; he was sure that his guilt must be written all over his face.

"Can I ask you something?" she continued, pulling her knees up to her chest, tucking them under her chin.

"Of course," he agreed.

"Is she a good mum?"

He could lie again, to spare her feelings, but he was done with that. She deserved an honest answer. "Yeah. She is," he agreed, glancing back at the bunk, the scene reminding him of all the nights he'd come home late to find that Aaron had snuck into their bed.

She'd taken to motherhood in a way that even he couldn't have anticipated. "The best," he finished with a smile.

As if to illustrate his point, Aaron lifted his head. "Can I sleep here with Mommy?" he asked them, a hopeful note in his voice. "I'll be quiet."

Claire looked wary; Jack couldn't imagine what she must be going through.

She needed time to process it all. "It's okay – I'll watch him," he offered. "You just do whatever you have to do."

She forced a bright smile for her son as she got to her feet. "Sure," she agreed.

* * *

That night, Jack sat by Kate's bunk, holding her hand while Aaron dozed at her side. It was impossible to tell if their presence there helped her, but he liked to think that it did: her boys, her family.

Her world, just as she was his.

There were so many people counting on her: not the least of all, their unborn son, whose survival was tied to her own. To his relief, Juliet was able to locate his heartbeat with a stethoscope, but it was soft, and difficult to distinguish from Kate's; fitting considering that if hers ceased, so would his, and Jack would lose the only two things worth staying off that bridge for.

It was enough to make him wish that she hadn't backed him into a corner where he was forced the throw out his pills, but even if she hadn't, he knew that he couldn't do that to her again.

He had to be there, to take care of her this time.

"Kate? If you can hear me, you need to come home," he whispered, keeping their fingers entwined as he lifted her knuckles to his lips. "You and me – we aren't done. Not for another fifty years, at least…"

* * *

It was almost twenty-four hours before she sighed in her sleep: the most radical change in her breathing since she'd lapsed into her vegetative state; another fifteen before she stirred, flexing her hand in a movement so slight Jack was sure that he must be hallucinating.

On the third day, she opened her eyes, a tiny smile playing at the corners of her mouth as he came back into focus, and he wondered if somehow, his words had reached her.

But none of that mattered; all that mattered now was that she – and their baby – was alive.

"Welcome back," he murmured with a tearful grin, stroking the smooth skin of her cheek with his thumb as he brought his forehead down to rest against hers.

* * *

Next chapter: Some long overdue Jate fluff, and Claire comes to a decision about Aaron... ;)


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for the reviews. This is basically the last chapter... ;)

* * *

Chapter 24.

Kate was feeling strong enough to move around when she woke the next morning, so she convinced Jack to bring her up to where the rest of the survivors were mingling.

By then, news of her pregnancy had spread; as he helped her over to one of the deck chairs, a number of people approached them to find out how she was and congratulate them.

"I knew you weren't just getting fat," Sun teased her with a smirk as she hugged her.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Kate agreed, her own grin sheepish. Was that really only a fortnight ago? It felt like a lifetime. "I wanted to tell you, but then you would've tried to stop me."

"With good reason," Sun reminded her but she was smiling.

Aaron's face lit up when he lifted his gaze from the toy cars he was pushing along the planks with Ji Yeon. "Mommy!" he cried, abandoning his new playmate.

"Careful, Aaron," Claire insisted as he hurtled across the deck towards Kate; too late: he threw himself into her arms.

Jack flinched when Aaron's knee caught her in the stomach in his eagerness to get to her, but she was too happy to see him to bother giving him a warning.

"Hey, baby," she greeted him, "I missed you so much," bittersweet tears spilling over onto her cheeks as she wrapped him in a fierce hug.

"Are you having fun with your new friends?" she asked him when she finally let go, drying her eyes with the back of her hand before he could come to the conclusion that he'd done something to upset her.

He shook his head, burrowing into her chest, even though he'd seemed fine a few minutes before.

"Not even a little?" she teased him, stroking his fine hair while he pressed his face into her shirt. She'd been leaving him with Veronica since before he could walk; it wasn't like him to be such a mama's boy.

"What about now? Are you having fun now?" she insisted as she tickled him under his arms, eliciting a reluctant giggle, but her own smile faded when she noticed Claire coming towards them, and she realised that she'd witnessed the whole thing.

She knew that seeing them together, interacting as mother and son, couldn't be easy for her so she pulled away from him with a guilty glance. "Hi, Claire."

She felt her heart constrict when the younger woman sank onto the chair opposite hers with a tight smile. "I'm glad you guys are both here, because there's something I need to run by you, and it affects you too, Jack," she told them.

Kate could tell from her expression that it was the conversation she'd been dreading; without meaning to, she found herself tightening her grip on Aaron.

One look at Jack told her that he knew it too. "Okay," he agreed in a cautious tone, settling himself on the end of Kate's chair. "What did you wanna talk to us about?"

"When we get back, I want you… I want you to adopt him," Claire blurted out after a long moment, shifting her gaze to Aaron, still in Kate's lap.

Kate exchanged a stunned glance with Jack. This wasn't even close to what she'd been expecting. At best, she'd figured that Claire would want to share the responsibility of raising him with them.

Jack's expression was wary as he let this sink in. "Claire, maybe you need to think about—" he started to argue, but she cut him off.

"All I've done is think about it since we left the island," she assured him, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "and I've decided that this is the best thing for him."

"You're serious?" Kate checked, unwilling to get her hopes up if Claire was only going to change her mind when she was faced with the reality of signing her son over to them. It had taken Kate months to come to terms with losing him, and even then, she'd never stopped resisting the idea. She couldn't go through that again in a week, a month, a year…

"He doesn't know me, Kate," she insisted, meeting her gaze, her blue eyes filled with anguish. "He won't take a bath, or go to bed when I tell him... He wants _you_."

She drew in a shaky breath. "I know how stupid this is gunna sound, but I met this… _psychic_… in Sydney. He was the one who convinced me to go to L.A. – he said there was this… couple… I should give the baby to," she explained.

"So now I think maybe this is the way it was supposed to be. You were meant to have him," she finished, sounding less certain now that she'd said it out aloud.

"Claire, are you sure?" Kate pressed, touching her elbow to get her to look up, part of her wishing that she _would _back out. As much as she loved Aaron, the last thing she wanted was for her friend – her future sister – to feel like she'd been tricked into giving up her child. She couldn't do that to her, not after the torment she'd suffered in her dreams, and each time she thought about handing Aaron over.

Claire nodded, biting her lip. "You guys are getting married. You're having a baby. If he stays with you, he's not just gunna have a mum – he's gunna have a dad and a baby brother and who knows how many other kids to play with. He deserves to be part of a family. I can't take that away from him."

Kate looked to Jack, to see his reaction; he gave her an almost imperceptible nod, as if to say that this was between them, that he would support them in whatever arrangement they chose.

She turned back to Claire. "You're really okay with this? Us keeping him?" she checked, still in a state of disbelief. After years of living in fear that she would come back to claim him, the idea of actually becoming Aaron's mother – his _real_ mother – was almost too good to be true.

At least this was what she thought when Claire shook her head. "No," she confessed, swallowing hard as she forced a brave smile on her face. "But I will be."

Kate couldn't help smiling then as she glanced down at her son, her own eyes welling up with joy and relief. "Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

That night, Jack was lying on his bunk, reading, when Kate found him in his cabin, but he looked up when he heard her come in.

"Hey," he greeted her, closing his book. He pushed himself upright; she could see the tension in his body, hear the concern in his voice as he asked, "What're you doing up?"

He must have slipped out some time while she was napping, so that he wouldn't disturb her. She couldn't say that she blamed him: when was the last time he'd taken a few minutes for himself?

"Aaron's asleep," she told him, closing the door behind her, making a show of snapping the lock into place. "And I was feeling a lot better, so…" She studied his reaction from beneath her lashes as she transferred her hands to the waistband of her jeans, enjoying the way his eyes widened as he watched her lower the zip, letting them slide down her legs.

In moments like these, he wasn't a doctor, or a leader, or a hero, he was just a man, with weaknesses like any other.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" he asked, but he sat up a little straighter, a wary note in his tone as though it wasn't just her that he was trying to convince.

"According to _you_, I was in a coma for almost three days," she reminded him as she joined him on his bunk, positioning herself so that she was straddling his lap. She had to bend low to keep from hitting her head, so she decided to use it to her advantage, slipping her arms around his neck as she leant into him, allowing him to feel the heat of her breath on his face. "Don't you think that's enough rest for… I don't know…one lifetime?"

He let out a soft chuckle, but now that they were only inches apart, she realised that she could still see the strain of the past few days in his expression.

There must be something that she could do about that, she thought with a playful smile, something to help them both relax…

She kissed him, pleased by his enthusiastic response as he rested his hands on her hips, pulling her in closer.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he confessed, tracing the side of her jaw with his thumb, placing a delicate kiss there. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

The vulnerability in his tone scared her. She didn't want to think about how close he came either. "You'd have to grow another beard," she teased him, flashing him a watery grin, mirroring his as he moved in again.

"You sure you're all right with us taking Aaron?" she asked him with a serious frown when he bowed his forehead against hers. "I don't want him to come between us again."

"I am if you and Claire are," he agreed; she searched his eyes for a sign that he was just saying that, but he was telling the truth, making her wonder if their entire relationship would have been different if they'd had Claire's blessing before.

His expression softened into an affectionate smile. "He's an amazing kid. I can't believe how much he's already looking forward to being a big brother."

She kissed him again, taking her time. She'd waited so long to be here with him like this. She couldn't remember the last time they'd had a whole night to themselves, without the island intervening.

When they finally broke apart, she used the opportunity to peel his t-shirt over his head, following it with her own, casting both to the floor with her jeans, but instead of encouraging him like she intended, her actions seemed to have the opposite effect.

He let go of her, his eyes wandering over her exposed flesh, lingering on her rounded belly.

It was nothing he hadn't seen before, but never in a situation like this. "Not too sexy, huh?" she agreed in a soft voice, staring down at it, wondering, with a self-conscious blush, if it had been such a good idea to try to seduce him after all.

"Sorry, it's just all these hormones making me go a little crazy," she explained with an awkward laugh as tears stung her eyes.

She started to move off of him, to retrieve her clothes, but he stopped her, keeping his hand on her side to hold her there while he ran his palm over her bump.

His touch was so light – almost timid – that it tickled her skin as he caressed it with his fingertips, exploring rather than examining this time, concentrating on familiarising himself with its new shape.

When she forced herself to look up at him, she saw that he wasn't repulsed by it like she was afraid. He was smiling a smile that she'd never seen before: one of pure, unmasked adoration.

"You're having our baby, Kate," he murmured, drawing her back into his arms; she couldn't help but smile in return at how earnest he was as he added, "What could be sexier – or more beautiful – than that?"

* * *

That's technically the end, so I _could_ leave it there... or I could do an epilogue, set back in L.A., some time in the not too distant future.... ;)


	25. Epilogue

Thanks for the reviews. The response to last chapter wasn't what I hoped, but I still felt like it needed an epilogue since the baby has been such an important part of this story and we haven't even seen him yet! It's taken me almost two weeks to finish, so it's now _extremely_ AU. I'm going to try to write something more in line with the events of 316, I just need to find the right idea... ;)

* * *

Epilogue

"Push, Kate! You're almost there!" the doctor cried when she stiffened with another contraction.

She wasn't sure how, after almost eighteen full hours of labour, but she managed to find the strength, pressing her back into Jack's chest.

He relaxed his grip on her as she caught her breath, sliding off the bed, leaning past her to check what was happening. "I see him, Kate," he announced, breaking into a grin as he caught his first glimpse of their son. "He's beautiful. He's already got a full head of curls – just like his mom."

She smiled at how close this description was to her dreams. She couldn't wait to find out if the rest of him looked the way she'd imagined.

"Now I just need one more big one," the doctor told her. "On the count of three…"

"You can do this," Jack murmured, returning to his post at her side. He chuckled, his lips grazing her ear as he added, a private joke that only the two of them would understand: "You can do anything."

"One… Two…"

She had the strangest sense of deja vu, like she'd done this before, as she gritted her teeth, bearing down as hard as she could.

In a way, she had.

She collapsed against the pillows with relief when she felt her baby slip into the world, angry but alive.

Safe, at last.

Even though her nightmares had stopped, there was a part of her that still hadn't believed this moment would come.

"Congratulations. It's…"

"…a boy," she finished with a breathless laugh, beaming at Jack.

He squeezed her hand between both of his, still focused on her as he added, "We know."

They'd never asked at any of her appointments, or even agreed that they wanted to find out. They didn't need to; the thought that he might be anything else had never entered their minds as they painted the bedroom next to Aaron's blue, and filled the dresser with blue and green onesies, along with some of his old clothes.

"You did so great," Jack told her, moving his hands up to cradle her head and crushing his mouth to hers in an ecstatic kiss.

She flashed him a small smile when he released her, weak but happy; closing her eyes, succumbing to her exhaustion until she heard the doctor say, "Are you ready to meet your son?"

She was too overwhelmed to string together a coherent sentence, so she just nodded, half laughing, half crying as she placed the newborn, still fussing and squirming, on her chest, against her heart.

"You okay?" Jack asked, rubbing her biceps, his chin coming to rest in the crook of her shoulder, where he could admire him too.

"After all the waiting, and the worrying… I can't believe he's finally here," she whispered.

Her love for Aaron grew with each day that passed, but somehow, this was different: special.

Her blood. _Their_ blood.

With Aaron, it had taken time, but this baby was already a part of her, of both of them.

She watched their son unfurl his delicate fingers, latching onto the collar of her hospital gown. "Have you ever seen anything so perfect?" she cooed, stroking the backs of them with her thumb.

She knew that Jack felt it too, his pride radiating off him in waves as he kissed her again. "Never."

"I was so sure we were gonna lose him," she confessed in a soft voice, licking away the tears that pooled on her bottom lip as the baby began to settle, almost as it he recognised the sound. "I can't believe I almost gave up on him."

From the moment that she knew, she'd tried so hard not to get attached – convinced that it would hurt more if someone took him away from her – that for a long time afterwards, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to bond with him.

It was only now that she was holding him that she realised how unfounded those fears had been.

* * *

"I guess this means we're gonna have to come up with a name for you little guy," Jack told the baby when the doctors left them alone in Kate's room so that she could rest, skimming his large palm over his fuzzy scalp with an affectionate grin.

She looked down at their son. "I think we should call him Christian," she announced once she decided that it suited him. She'd had the idea for a while, but she wasn't sure until now.

Jack tore his eyes from the baby, blinking at her in surprise. "After my dad?" he checked, his expression neutral, making it difficult for her to determine what he thought of the idea.

She smiled as she glanced back at him. "Yeah." It was the best way she could think of to honour his father, who'd given them both back their lives.

"You're serious?"

She nodded. "If it wasn't for him, you'd still be in that cabin," she reminded him, lowering her head to his shoulder, studying his reaction out of the corners of her eyes. "He stayed behind so you wouldn't have to, so you could be a better father than he was – I think that deserves a namesake, don't you?"

He grinned, pulling her tighter against him. "Yeah," he agreed. "I do. Thank you."

She laid her free hand against his cheek, tilting her face up to kiss him; they were forced to break it a second later when there was a soft tap at the door and Claire poked her head inside.

"How's everybody doing? Are you up for visitors yet?" she checked in a hushed tone, but before Kate could answer, Aaron pushed past her, into the room.

"Mommy!" he cried.

"Hey," she greeted him with a broad grin. "Come over here and meet your brother."

He flew towards her like a juggernaut; Jack caught him around the waist, trapping him in a backwards hug. "Whoa! Slow down, buddy," he warned him, struggling to hold back his laughter.

Aaron flashed him his best innocent smile as he craned his neck to look at him. "Sorry, Daddy," he sang, wriggling free.

"He's gorgeous," Claire breathed as she moved over to Kate's side to get a better view of her nephew.

"He looks just like you, Jack," she added with a grin. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," he told her for both of them, neither sure what else to say to her; she'd signed the adoption papers after they called a press conference, exposing the lie, but she was still adjusting to the idea of being Aaron's aunt.

She cleared her throat, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I should go. Dave's waiting for me," she explained.

While she still wasn't ready for anything serious, she'd begun dating again after enrolling in the community college a few blocks from the apartment they'd bought her with what they'd agreed was her share of the settlement.

"We're going to dinner, but then we'll come back and get him," she assured them.

She gave Aaron a quick hug. "I'll be back soon, and then we'll go get ice cream, okay?" she told him.

"Okay," he agreed with an enthusiastic nod. "Bye, Claire."

"Have fun," Jack called after her as she slipped out into the hall.

"He's so little," Aaron said, creeping closer, peering at the tiny bundle in Kate's arms when she beckoned him over.

"That's why he's gonna need you to help look after him," she agreed.

"You said I could play with him," he reminded her, a hint of whining in his voice.

She laughed as she wondered if he'd expected a boy closer to his age. "Not today, sweetie. You have to wait 'till he gets a little bigger for that."

"What's his name?" he asked, forgetting his petulance, curious despite himself.

"His name is Christian," she told him, glancing over at Jack with a smile. "But you can call him Chris."

He touched the tip of his index finger to the baby's cheek and he opened his eyes, gazing up at him with a sleepy expression. "Hi, Chris," he whispered.

"You wanna hold him?" Kate asked.

He eyed him with a hesitant look before nodding. "Okay," he agreed.

She shifted over to create a space for him on the bed next to her. "Then come on up here."

Jack scooped him up by his armpits, making him giggle as he swung him over the rail. "There ya go, buddy," he said, ruffling Aaron's hair as he scrambled onto his hands and knees, crawling over to Kate.

She waited until he was sitting beside her to hold Christian out to him. "Watch his head," she warned him as she helped him find a position that was comfortable for both of them. "His neck's very floppy."

He stayed very still once she let go, as though afraid of doing something to hurt the fragile creature that he now found himself responsible for.

She smiled as she settled back to watch the two of them together: her little boys. It was a sight that she'd never believed she would see.

In her dreams, it was always one or the other…

"What d'you think?" she asked Aaron, loosening the baby's coverings.

He scrutinised his brother with an intense frown, taking everything in: his feet, his hands, his face. "He's nice," he decided, looking back up at her with a shy smile when he was done.

"He is, isn't he?" she agreed.

* * *

So that's it. _Please _review, because I would love to hear what you thought of this story as a whole. Thanks again for all your words of encouragement. An update for my other (still unnamed) fic should be coming along in the next few days... ;)


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